Can a lesbian be a lesbian without having sex?

[Natasha]

Wow...this makes absolutely NO sense to me!!! A person's sexual preference is not determined by whether or not they have had sex...the belief that it is just, honestly, baffles me!!! Does a lesbian who's been raped by a man automatically get deemed heterosexual since they've had sex w/ a man???

 

[jassilem]

Wow...this makes absolutely NO sense to me!!! A person's sexual preference is not determined by whether or not they have had sex...the belief that it is just, honestly, baffles me!!! Does a lesbian who's been raped by a man automatically get deemed heterosexual since they've had sex w/ a man???

The voice of reason.

 

[Alien Allen]

Wow...this makes absolutely NO sense to me!!! A person's sexual preference is not determined by whether or not they have had sex...the belief that it is just, honestly, baffles me!!! Does a lesbian who's been raped by a man automatically get deemed heterosexual since they've had sex w/ a man???

not a good analogy. a person being raped has no say in the matter.

my wife said something that made sense though that some homosexuals never act out because of their belief or faith that it is wrong. so I shall concede

still wondering though why if we have labels that a bisexual could be a virgin and I doubt there is anybody that thinks they are.

 

[RedRyder]

not a good analogy. a person being raped has no say in the matter.

my wife said something that made sense though that some homosexuals never act out because of their belief or faith that it is wrong. so I shall concede

still wondering though why if we have labels that a bisexual could be a virgin and I doubt there is anybody that thinks they are.

A bisexual could be a virgin IF THEY DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE!!!!
Someone can desire men and women and not act on it all day long. If they were a virgin... they remain a virgin until...... anyway....

 

[Natasha]

not a good analogy. a person being raped has no say in the matter.

Congratulations...you get to be right ONCE in this thread!!!

Seriously, though, some people struggle w/ their sexuality and as a result don't have sex w/ ANYBODY. Take a woman, for instance, who has desires for other women but feels that everybody thinks it's abnormal and that she needs to sleep w/ men. She has no desire for men, so she just abstains instead.

 

[Mase]

If a woman is attracted to the same sex, then she is a lesbian. Sexual preference is not determined from sexual intercourse.

 

[hopscotch]

my wife said something that made sense though that some homosexuals never act out because of their belief or faith that it is wrong. so I shall concede

still wondering though why if we have labels that a bisexual could be a virgin and I doubt there is anybody that thinks they are.

From Merriam:

1 : of, relating to, or characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward another of the same sex
2 : of, relating to, or involving sexual intercourse between persons of the same sex

Two definitions, one involving the sexual act, one that doesn't.

Sorry for basically repeating what others have said, but I'm bored and chatty.

Your wife has given the best example. Some people just aren't comfortable with their own sexuality and may abstain from sex with someone of the same gender because it won't fit into their ideas of how life should be. They may also not have sex with someone of the opposite gender because there's simply no desire there. That might be the confusing thing: no sex.

I think it'd be more difficult for a bisexual to be a virgin because he or she wouldn't have had sex with either gender, and considering the whole world's filled with potential... the odds are against him or her not having sex, especially if there's no social stigma against being involved with at least one gender.

So, out of curiosity, what bugs you about the idea of a virgin lesbian?

 

[wildcat52]

thats like saying a straight person isnt straight til theyve had sex.
i didnt have sex when i was like 4 obviously, but i sure knew i liked boys!
and i mean.. that aint never changed!

there can be a lesbian who wants to wait til she's married or w/e.
if you a chick, and you into girls , then guess what

you a lesbian. plain and simple

 

[Keight]

Im a chick and have done girls.... but i aint not lesbian..... i prefer penis :24:

 

[MMMMatilde]

ok has anybody met a lesbian that did not engage in sexual acts??

My boyriends best friend hasn't had sex and she is DEFINITELY a lesbian, 100% lol

 

[Alien Allen]

From Merriam:



So, out of curiosity, what bugs you about the idea of a virgin lesbian?

it came up in a discussion in another thread. thats all

 

[RedRyder]

it came up in a discussion in another thread. thats all

Actually... tell the truth.... it's sort of like the Priest syndrome... You wanna find one to be the first... to do the horizontal mambo... :willy_nilly: :nod:

 

[Minor Axis]

Lesbian, gay, homosexual is how your brain functions, your perception, what attracts you romantically and sexually, not how you act. Sorry...

 

[dt3]

Ok Red says a celibate nun can be a lesbian.

I say that it takes the act of having sex to be a lesbian.

So please tell me I am correct and she is nuts.

"thank you very much" as Elvis said

I knew I was straight before I slept with a woman :dunno

 

[lumpenstein]

Lesbian, gay, homosexual is how your brain functions, your perception, what attracts you romantically and sexually, not how you act. Sorry...

Veritas!

Desire exists before the act; the act merely consumates the desire.

 

[Alien Allen]

still think you guys got it backwards

think about that :nod:

 

[Minor Axis]

still think you guys got it backwards

think about that :nod:

You act based on what your brain tells your body to do. Your body does not tell your brain "hey I'm sleeping with someone of the same sex, deal with it" and then your brain accepts the fact you're not straight.

 

[Alien Allen]

You act based on what your brain tells your body to do. Your body does not tell your brain "hey I'm sleeping with someone of the same sex, deal with it" and then your brain accepts the fact you're not straight.

there was a joke there Minor.

thought somebody might get it :nod:

 

[Hans]

I learned a lot about lesbians today. The first historical lesbian, was sappho, a poet. Sappho or saphho, I forgot, was from Lesbos (a place). She is one of the few historical women writers of that period where her poems still exist. It is very clear she has feelings for women and such. Anyways, I was gonna segue into how it applies, but I most definitely think that lesbians are lesbians without sex.

If you see a girl you love, but she is paralized from the waste down, are you gay for not having sex with her? I believe that orientation is dictated much more so by the mind than the body. For whatever reason if some horn dog girl had sex with another girl, but regrtted it, it was inspired by a sex drive. However, when you openly know you want a girl without a sex drive, theres nothing there but the want of a woman.

 

[CapsaicinHigh]

You don't tell people that they aren't heterosexual for never having sex before, so why would you be able to do the same for lesbians. Lesbians want to have sex with other women because they are a lesbian.

Do you have to put a nail in a piece of wood for a hammer to be a hammer?