Blonde Attack

[Tuffdisc]

Why did the blonde climb up onto the pub roof? She heard that the drinks were on the house.
Why do blondes take the pill? So they know what day of the week it is.
How do you measure a blonde's intelligence? Stick a pressure gauge in her ear.
Why did the blonde die while drinking milk? The cow fell on her.
Why don't blondes double-up recipes at dinner parties? The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.
Why do blondes have more fun? They're easier to amuse.

 

[Joe the meek]

A blonde went ice fishing. As she was on the ice getting ready to drill a hole, she heard a loud booming voice above her say "don't drill there". So the blonde moves to a different spot on the ice, and she gets the drill ready, and again, a loud booming voice from above says "don't drill there!". This goes on a couple more times until finally the blonde looks up and screams "is that you God?! Why don't you want me to drill at all these spots where I want to fish? Are you trying to save me from some kind of accident or let me catch more fish?!" The voice booms back and says "no, this isn't God, I'm the zamboni driver and you're in a private skating arena!"