Big dick jokes (sort of vulgar)

[Seasquatch]

So, I was working the other day, and we started to come up with jokes about how big our dicks were. This originally (as far as I know) started with an old routine Drew Carey used to do. I would like to challenge everybody to post any that you make up. Here are some of the more memorable ones we came up with.

My dick is so big it has it's own drivers license.

My dick is so big I can use it to drive in the HOV lane.

My dick is so big it has it's own satellite.

My dick is so big I can turn it inside out and use it as a sleeping bag.

My dick is so big when erect it is used to keep the Mongols out of China.

My dick is so big it has it's own dick.

My dick is so big my dick's dick is bigger than your dick.

My dick is so big it has it's own gravitational pull.

My dick is so big it has it's own area code.

My dick is so big it has sideburns.

My dick is so big it has a moustache.

My dick is so big it gets it's own vote.

My dick is so big you can see it from space with the naked eye.

My dick is so big it can dunk.

My dick is so big it has sleep apnea.

My dick is so big I can use the Eiffel Tower for a french tickler.


That's probably enough for now, I will probably post more later. I can't wait to see peoples responses.

 

[Hans]

hahahaha what?

Those arent even clever but I still laughed. I can make one myself.
My dick is so big you could fit a kickball field on it.

 

[wednesday]

:dunnoMy philosophy is when men say their penis's are big....they normally have tic tac dicks!!...so, "my dicks so small i use tweezers to for sexual release"

 

[Zorak]

S

My dick is so big it has it's own gravitational pull.

^^^^ OH yesh!

Women try to run away, but Newton and me keep them within arms - uh, i mean cocks reach :24:

 

[Hans]

:dunnoMy philosophy is when men say their penis's are big....they normally have tic tac dicks!!...so, "my dicks so small i use tweezers to for sexual release"

is the plural of penis penises or peni?

 

[wednesday]

is the plural of penis penises or peni?

take ur pick?? and stop being so bloody picky!

 

[Seasquatch]

:dunnoMy philosophy is when men say their penis's are big....they normally have tic tac dicks!!...so, "my dicks so small i use tweezers to for sexual release"

I thought of a good one after I posted; My dick is so small I sit around all day at work moking up jokes about how big it is.

 

[SYN]

My dick is so big my dick's dick is bigger than your dick.

pretty big dick

 

[Zorak]

is the plural of penis penises or peni?

Penises, oddly enough.

 

[Hans]

take ur pick?? and stop being so bloody picky!

I NEED TO KNOW THE TRUtH!

 

[wednesday]

Penises, oddly enough.

Well theres the truth!!

 

[skyblue]

is the plural of penis penises or peni?

penii

 

[skyblue]

my dick scares no woman

 

[Hans]

Is it penii or penises

I r confuzed

 

[DaveM]

take ur prick?? and stop being so bloody picky!

FIXED!



I has a small penis








:24:

 

[wednesday]

FIXED!



I has a small penis








:24:

eek:eekyou changed my quote!!cheeky!!!:24:but clever

 

[DaveM]

eek:eekyou changed my quote!!cheeky!!!:24:but clever

lol, I aim to please

 

[groundpounder]

take ur pick?? and stop being so bloody picky!

please refrain from using "bloody," "penis," and "picky" in the same thread. :thumbdown :ninja

kthankxforplayingandgoodbye :thumbup

 

[wednesday]

please refrain from using "bloody," "penis," and "picky" in the same thread. :thumbdown :ninja

kthankxforplayingandgoodbye :thumbup

????????????..um....1) i didnt write penis
2)whats wrong with bloody and picky??..am i missing some sort of private joke? im confused:unsure:

 

[TheOriginalJames]

????????????..um....1) i didnt write penis
2)whats wrong with bloody and picky??..am i missing some sort of private joke? im confused:unsure:

if you prick a penis, it bleeds, and hurts. thats what he was getting at.