Take This Job
>
> If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! Next
> time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy.
>
> Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
>
> He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
> e-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2
> FMin Ft. Wayne, Indiana, which was sponsoring a "worst job experience"
> contest.
>
> Needless to say, she won.
>
> "Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week
> I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately
> at
> work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you
> realize
> it's not so bad after all.
>
> "Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with
> a
> few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom
> of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of
> year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We
> have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of
> equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful
> temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose,
> which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan,
> and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I
> get
> to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the
> back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's
> like
> working in a Jacuzzi.
>
> Everything was going well until all of a sudden,
> my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made
> things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled
> the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized
> what had happened.
>
> "The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
> suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
> couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as
> fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
> grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive
> supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
>
> "His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
> other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted
> the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water
> decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach
> the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at
> the
> surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of
> the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face,
> handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I
> got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for
> two days because my butt was swollen shut. So, next time you're having
> a
> bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a
> jellyfish shoved up your butt.
>
> "Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
>
> "And whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself: is this a "jellyfish
> bad" day?"
>
> If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! Next
> time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy.
>
> Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
>
> He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
> e-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2
> FMin Ft. Wayne, Indiana, which was sponsoring a "worst job experience"
> contest.
>
> Needless to say, she won.
>
> "Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week
> I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately
> at
> work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you
> realize
> it's not so bad after all.
>
> "Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with
> a
> few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom
> of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of
> year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We
> have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of
> equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful
> temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose,
> which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan,
> and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I
> get
> to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the
> back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's
> like
> working in a Jacuzzi.
>
> Everything was going well until all of a sudden,
> my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made
> things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled
> the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized
> what had happened.
>
> "The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
> suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
> couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as
> fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
> grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive
> supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
>
> "His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
> other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted
> the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water
> decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach
> the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at
> the
> surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of
> the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face,
> handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I
> got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for
> two days because my butt was swollen shut. So, next time you're having
> a
> bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a
> jellyfish shoved up your butt.
>
> "Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
>
> "And whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself: is this a "jellyfish
> bad" day?"
