asshole status returned
- Thread starter UncleBacon
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TheOriginalJames
Well-Known Member
hahaha bacon, I just joined your ranks here... check out the new sig. 
UncleBacon
OTz original V.I.P
son are you already into that bottle i gave you.
not yet homer just being an asshole.....I was accused of being a nice guy earlier
ASSHOLE
(Spoken)
Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American dream.
About UncleBacon, about you, about the way our American hearts beat way down
in the bottom of our chests. About the special feeling we get in the
cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the subcockle
area. Maybe in the liver. Maybe in the kidneys. Maybe even in thecolon, we don't know.
(Sung)
UncleBacon's just a regular Joe with a regular job.
He's your average white suburbanite slob.
He like football and porno and books about war.
He's got an average house with a nice hardwood floor.
His wife and my job, my kids and my car.
His feet on my table and a cuban cigar.
But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like him interested
(oh no) no way (uh-uh)
No, He's gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense
(oh yeah) Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
He drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane,
While people behind him are going insane.
UncleBacon's an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
He's an asshole (He's an asshole, such an asshole)
He uses public toilets and piss on the seat,
He walks around in the summertime saying "How about this heat?"
UncleBacon's an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
He's an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)
Sometimes he parks in handicapped spaces,
UncleBacon's an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
He's an asshole (He's a real fucking asshole)
Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong
NAAAAH!
UncleBacon's an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
He's an asshole (he's the world's biggest asshole)
(Spoken)
Know whats he gonna do? I'm gonna get himself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado,
hot-fuckin'-pink, with whaleskin hubcaps and all-leather cow interior and big
brown baby seal eyes for headlights... yeah! And he's gonna drive around in
that baby doing 115 miles an hour, getting 1 mile per gallon, suckin' down
quarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non-
biodegradable styrofoam containers... yeah! And when he's done suckin' down those greaseball burgers he's gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side, and there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can do about it. You know why? Because he's got the bombs, that's why... yeah! Two words--nuclear fuckin' weapons, OK?
Russia, Czechoslovakia, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want...they can have a democracy cakewalk right through the middle of
Tienamen Square and it won't make a lick of fuckin' difference, because he's got the bombs,
OK? John Wayne's not dead--he's frozen! And when we find a cure for
cancer, we're gonna thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? You ever taken a cold shower? Well, multiply that by 15 million times--that's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke and John Casavetti and Sam Peckinpaw and a case of fuckin' whisky and drive...
(Sung)
UncleBacon's an asshole (I'm an asshole, he's an asshole)
He's (He's the world's biggest asshole)
A S-S H-O L-E
Everybody, A S-S H-O L-E
Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay
A-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom
Oooooooo
(Spoken)
He's an asshole and I'm proud of it!
(Spoken)
Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American dream.
About UncleBacon, about you, about the way our American hearts beat way down
in the bottom of our chests. About the special feeling we get in the
cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the subcockle
area. Maybe in the liver. Maybe in the kidneys. Maybe even in thecolon, we don't know.
(Sung)
UncleBacon's just a regular Joe with a regular job.
He's your average white suburbanite slob.
He like football and porno and books about war.
He's got an average house with a nice hardwood floor.
His wife and my job, my kids and my car.
His feet on my table and a cuban cigar.
But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like him interested
(oh no) no way (uh-uh)
No, He's gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense
(oh yeah) Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
He drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane,
While people behind him are going insane.
UncleBacon's an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
He's an asshole (He's an asshole, such an asshole)
He uses public toilets and piss on the seat,
He walks around in the summertime saying "How about this heat?"
UncleBacon's an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
He's an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)
Sometimes he parks in handicapped spaces,
UncleBacon's an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
He's an asshole (He's a real fucking asshole)
Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong
NAAAAH!
UncleBacon's an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
He's an asshole (he's the world's biggest asshole)
(Spoken)
Know whats he gonna do? I'm gonna get himself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado,
hot-fuckin'-pink, with whaleskin hubcaps and all-leather cow interior and big
brown baby seal eyes for headlights... yeah! And he's gonna drive around in
that baby doing 115 miles an hour, getting 1 mile per gallon, suckin' down
quarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non-
biodegradable styrofoam containers... yeah! And when he's done suckin' down those greaseball burgers he's gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side, and there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can do about it. You know why? Because he's got the bombs, that's why... yeah! Two words--nuclear fuckin' weapons, OK?
Russia, Czechoslovakia, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want...they can have a democracy cakewalk right through the middle of
Tienamen Square and it won't make a lick of fuckin' difference, because he's got the bombs,
OK? John Wayne's not dead--he's frozen! And when we find a cure for
cancer, we're gonna thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? You ever taken a cold shower? Well, multiply that by 15 million times--that's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke and John Casavetti and Sam Peckinpaw and a case of fuckin' whisky and drive...
(Sung)
UncleBacon's an asshole (I'm an asshole, he's an asshole)
He's (He's the world's biggest asshole)
A S-S H-O L-E
Everybody, A S-S H-O L-E
Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay
A-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom
Oooooooo
(Spoken)
He's an asshole and I'm proud of it!
UncleBacon
OTz original V.I.P
haha....but you should of changed the 1967 Cadillac El Dorado to a 1967 Shelby GT 500 haha
UncleBacon
OTz original V.I.P
no no no this goes way back between me and heather....I'm the only asshole here haha
UncleBacon
OTz original V.I.P
no I think the proper term you were looking for was asshole
GuesSAngel
Well-Known Member
UncleBacon
OTz original V.I.P
fuck you bless me
Asshole...
UncleBacon
OTz original V.I.P
don't threaten me with a compliment
UncleBacon
OTz original V.I.P
not so much
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