Ask Dr. D! Part II
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purpledove
Seizing Life ♥
Nice to see you back again Dr D 
No questions here atm
No questions here atm
*comes sliding into the room covered in salad dressing*
Hello again everybody!
Let's get right into it!
Our first question comes from Wyndex! He asks:
"Dr. I have a rash spreading from my gunt to my fupa, is there any way to get rid of it"
Very good question Wyndex!
Rashes can be a tricky lot, to be sure. They can be embarrassing. Especially when they're shaped like Abraham Lincoln. Just so you know, if you do have a rash that looks like Honest Abe, the best cure for it is to find somebody with a rash that is shaped like John Wilkes Booth. That'll clear it right up.
But as far as your rash goes, I find that a wire brush and paint thinner will get rid of just about anything. Including annoying pets such as goldfish.
Our next question comes from HK! She wishes to know:
"Is this just for medical questions, or do your expertise extend to other areas? That's not a euphemism"
Very good question, dear. My expertise is quite extensive. And girthy.
You will find that I am an expert on many, many, many things. As many, many, many people on here can attest to. Name a subject and I will whip out my knowledge and use it like a pro.
For example, with the economy being the way it is, people are wondering "How can I secure a good career that will enable me to live financially secure?"
First, find a job that interests you. For example, squirrel ranching.
Naturally you want to impress the person interviewing you for the
position. Now, you may be asking "Where are my pants?"
They're over there by the dresser.
Those of you who did not come home drunk off your ass last night, are
probably wondering "Can you give me some tips on how to land a job?"
I certainly can!
You see, I have interviewed many, many, many people for many, many,
many positions. Some of which have got me into many, many, many
meetings with Human Resources. But, never fear! I shall lead you
down the straight and narrow path to success in the interview process!
It would help if you send me pictures of any hot women you know.
Now, what can you expect going in to the place where the interview is being
conducted?
Several things.
1-An application roughly the size of a First Edition printing of the
Gutenberg Bible. It will ask you for certain pieces of information
about yourself. Things such as your full name, address, email,
underwear size…This is where some people feel pressured. They may not
like putting down all their vital details on a piece of paper that
could very well be used to find them on Facebook and pleasure one’s
self to their profile picture.
2-Expect other applicants to be there. Size them up. This is your
competition. Bringing or making a shank can help you to rise above
your rivals. It also shows initiative and a go-getter attitude.
3-A bathroom that you can never find no matter how many times you ask them.
Now that you’ve filled out every last line of every last page, it’s
time to go in and meet the person who will interview you for the
position. They hate you.
Now, it’s at this time that some of you are probably wondering “I
looked over by the dresser and I couldn’t find them.” Dammit, wrong
question!
The correct question is “What should I do or avoid doing to help win
me ‘points’ and increase my odds of getting this job?”
Glad you asked!
Here are some pointers:
1-Be dressed appropriately for the position. In other words, nothing
that Lady Gaga would ever put on.
2-Be aware of your surroundings. If you go in and the person has
pictures of their family on their desk it is appropriate to say things
like “What a lovely family you have.” It is not appropriate to grab
the picture and rub it on your groin while making pleasure noises.
3-Sometimes they will throw questions at you like “Where do you see
yourself in 5 years?” An appropriate answer would be “Making
advancement in this company and helping it to run smoother.” An
inappropriate answer would be you looking around the room nervous and
sweating while mumbling something that sounds like “Writing my
manifesto.”
Yes, by following my sage advice and wisdom, much success will come your way!
Hello again everybody!
Let's get right into it!
Our first question comes from Wyndex! He asks:
"Dr. I have a rash spreading from my gunt to my fupa, is there any way to get rid of it"
Very good question Wyndex!
Rashes can be a tricky lot, to be sure. They can be embarrassing. Especially when they're shaped like Abraham Lincoln. Just so you know, if you do have a rash that looks like Honest Abe, the best cure for it is to find somebody with a rash that is shaped like John Wilkes Booth. That'll clear it right up.
But as far as your rash goes, I find that a wire brush and paint thinner will get rid of just about anything. Including annoying pets such as goldfish.
Our next question comes from HK! She wishes to know:
"Is this just for medical questions, or do your expertise extend to other areas? That's not a euphemism"
Very good question, dear. My expertise is quite extensive. And girthy.
You will find that I am an expert on many, many, many things. As many, many, many people on here can attest to. Name a subject and I will whip out my knowledge and use it like a pro.
For example, with the economy being the way it is, people are wondering "How can I secure a good career that will enable me to live financially secure?"
First, find a job that interests you. For example, squirrel ranching.
Naturally you want to impress the person interviewing you for the
position. Now, you may be asking "Where are my pants?"
They're over there by the dresser.
Those of you who did not come home drunk off your ass last night, are
probably wondering "Can you give me some tips on how to land a job?"
I certainly can!
You see, I have interviewed many, many, many people for many, many,
many positions. Some of which have got me into many, many, many
meetings with Human Resources. But, never fear! I shall lead you
down the straight and narrow path to success in the interview process!
It would help if you send me pictures of any hot women you know.
Now, what can you expect going in to the place where the interview is being
conducted?
Several things.
1-An application roughly the size of a First Edition printing of the
Gutenberg Bible. It will ask you for certain pieces of information
about yourself. Things such as your full name, address, email,
underwear size…This is where some people feel pressured. They may not
like putting down all their vital details on a piece of paper that
could very well be used to find them on Facebook and pleasure one’s
self to their profile picture.
2-Expect other applicants to be there. Size them up. This is your
competition. Bringing or making a shank can help you to rise above
your rivals. It also shows initiative and a go-getter attitude.
3-A bathroom that you can never find no matter how many times you ask them.
Now that you’ve filled out every last line of every last page, it’s
time to go in and meet the person who will interview you for the
position. They hate you.
Now, it’s at this time that some of you are probably wondering “I
looked over by the dresser and I couldn’t find them.” Dammit, wrong
question!
The correct question is “What should I do or avoid doing to help win
me ‘points’ and increase my odds of getting this job?”
Glad you asked!
Here are some pointers:
1-Be dressed appropriately for the position. In other words, nothing
that Lady Gaga would ever put on.
2-Be aware of your surroundings. If you go in and the person has
pictures of their family on their desk it is appropriate to say things
like “What a lovely family you have.” It is not appropriate to grab
the picture and rub it on your groin while making pleasure noises.
3-Sometimes they will throw questions at you like “Where do you see
yourself in 5 years?” An appropriate answer would be “Making
advancement in this company and helping it to run smoother.” An
inappropriate answer would be you looking around the room nervous and
sweating while mumbling something that sounds like “Writing my
manifesto.”
Yes, by following my sage advice and wisdom, much success will come your way!
Hello again everybody!
HK apparently didn't get enough the first time around and has stepped up to the plate to take a swing at it again.
She wants to know:
"Doctor D, how did my question about your well-endowed expertise spawn an answer about interview technique? Additionally, can these techniques be applied to other areas of life?"
First off, HK, never question me on these things. My opinions and insights are not up for debate. They are based on solid medical findings and many, many, many years of research. And by "solid medical findings" and "research", I of course mean "fever dreams" and "viewing adult websites".
Name any area of life or society and I will be happy to expound upon it. With emphasis on the "pound" part of that word.
Fire away. No subject is taboo. All questions are welcome.
HK apparently didn't get enough the first time around and has stepped up to the plate to take a swing at it again.
She wants to know:
"Doctor D, how did my question about your well-endowed expertise spawn an answer about interview technique? Additionally, can these techniques be applied to other areas of life?"
First off, HK, never question me on these things. My opinions and insights are not up for debate. They are based on solid medical findings and many, many, many years of research. And by "solid medical findings" and "research", I of course mean "fever dreams" and "viewing adult websites".
Name any area of life or society and I will be happy to expound upon it. With emphasis on the "pound" part of that word.
Fire away. No subject is taboo. All questions are welcome.
purpledove
Seizing Life ♥
Doctor D, do you think marijuana is addicting? What's your take on having it legalized as a medicinal herb ( medicinal purposes) for varied aches and pains etc ? :unsure:
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