are people meant for long term relationships?

[memento_mori]

are they? is it a good thing that divorce is so casual these days? the sparks aren't there anymore, and things just aren't as good as they used to be. is that the right time for a divorce? do we even have to wait for the lipstick on the collar anymore?

 

[Suzie]

Im glad I was your inspiration for this.

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

i really hope so. then again, ive been wrong before...but im sure as hell gonna try my damn hardest to make it last. That's the difference between people who get divorced and people who dont...they GIVE UP. You can't give up on the one you love unless theyve given up on you. Giving up is for quitters. Staying togetehr will make you stronger. *note* notice i say unless theyve given up on you...if your OH is cheating on you or beating you like a red headed step child then thats different.

 

[drb]

i dunno mori that's something that's been bothering me for awhile, i hope deep down inside there is someone for everyone forever but at this point i doubt it. recent events in my personal life are showing me this.

 

[Suzie]

what does OH mean?
What happens if you suspect something? Do you not give up until you have proof?

 

[Boomer]

OH= Optimum Huckleknuckle

 

[drb]

other half?

 

[Suzie]

haha... boomer.. I might have fell for that if I didnt read the answer right after yours!! Boomer, I see I can always count on you for a good laugh. Thanks drb.

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

yes, other half. or SO is significant other. DH is dear husband, DW is dear wife...haha can you tell i read a lot of relationship type forums? thenest.com

 

[Suzie]

ah.. Ive seen those letters around, and always wondered what they meant!

 

[UncleBacon]

we are and now I'm not talking about all cases but it just seems that people don't take the time to work things out anymore and try to get back where they started...as americans we tend to do what the trendy thing is to do...I think divorce is one of those trends...I've always told myself that when I get married thats it for me I'm only doing it once...could be the reason why I'm single and not married I'm waiting for miss right to fall into my lap(not just literally haha)but I want to know 100% that, thats the person I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with...the only way I would concider divorce is if I caught my other cheating on me...I don't cheat and I think almost everything else can be worked out you just have to be able to listen to each other and respect each other...I hate to quote a movie but I think it was said fairly well in american wedding "they call it making love because you have to make it work" everything takes work

 

[All Else Failed]

I think some people are more prone to stay with a person for a long time than others, so I don't think there's an across the board generalization.

 

[dt3]

ah.. Ive seen those letters around, and always wondered what they meant!

Clare called me Amber's OH. I thought it meant Offtopicz Hunk...

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

hahahhaha! donnie thats awesome! you are totally Amber's Offtopicz Hunk! lolol

 

[Mrs Behavin]

I think there is someone out there for everyone.

Just this past yr in 2006, me and my husband came close twice to ending it. But we have both worked hard on our problems and attitudes and since then I have noticed a major change just since the beginning of this yr. Sure we say things to hurt each other feelings (not on purpose of course) and we get into arguments but we have never bretrayed one another. He is my best friend and as many times as he has hurt my feelings or done me wrong, I couldnt imagine my life without him. You have to work on your marriage sometimes and not just give up the first time you have a big knock down dragout fight. It takes effort.

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

I think there is someone out there for everyone.

Just this past yr in 2006, me and my husband came close twice to ending it. But we have both worked hard on our problems and attitudes and since then I have noticed a major change just since the beginning of this yr. Sure we say things to hurt each other feelings (not on purpose of course) and we get into arguments but we have never bretrayed one another. He is my best friend and as many times as he has hurt my feelings or done me wrong, I couldnt imagine my life without him. You have to work on your marriage sometimes and not just give up the first time you have a big knock down dragout fight. It takes effort.

Very true words, Amy. It gives me hope when I see that there are people out there still trying. I plan on making mine last forever but sometimes its easy to lose hope and assume you wont last just because no one else seems to these days. Attitude and willingness is everything.

 

[Butterfly]

It seems I have very different ideas about monogamy and commitment than most people here. LOL

I (and my hubby) don't believe people are meant to be monogamous, it's just not in our nature. For this reason we have an open marriage... this allows us to date and form relationships with people outside of our marriage. It works for us, and we are happy together, even with the addition of one or more people in our marriage.

 

[IntruderLS1]

are they? is it a good thing that divorce is so casual these days? the sparks aren't there anymore, and things just aren't as good as they used to be. is that the right time for a divorce? do we even have to wait for the lipstick on the collar anymore?

I think it's actually a strong misconception that divorce is so much more common now. I caught the tail end of a news story the other day, and apparently the divorce rate is the lowest it's been since the 1970's.

I'm sure somebody will check my facts, but that's what I heard.

Also, FWIW, what the girls said up there about fighting for marriage... SO true. Giving up is just that. Giving up.

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

I'm not knocking what you do Butterfly, but I'm just wondering what is the point of marriage if you are forming relationships with other people all the time? I'd be insanely jealous if tegan had another girlfriend. Sex is just that, sex, but when you bring in another relationship....i dunno i just cant relate i guess so id ont see where you are coming from or the point of it at all..maybe you can shed some light?

 

[Butterfly]

We are eachother's "primary partner"... If hubby needs me, my other guy knows he is second in line. We got married because we wanted to share a life together, and that life includes multiple partners for us. When either of us starts a new relationship, the new person is made to understand exactly where they fit in right from the start. In essence, we married our best friend. And it works for us, neither of us are jealous. We have one of the happiest marriage in our group of friends (none of which have open marriages)