due to a pm I received from a highly respected member, I will paste some pieces of my reply to clarify my point.
The comment about the carriage ride thing was a joke. IE redneck old school 1800s-1900s weddings.
Hard on them over the pre-nup maybe but the old school wedding was supposed to make people laugh.
You of all people should understand the pre-nup comment. People are plain ignorant if they believe that everything is going to be fine and dandy forever. Right now I am watching my boyfriends dad get cleaned the fuck out by his wife and mother of his 5 kids. Being married for 26+ years means nothing anymore. This woman hasnt worked a day in her life and she is taking half of everything this man has paid for over all his years of hard work and supporting his family.
I have watched my aunt go thru 2 divorces. One with a pre-nup and one without. The one with the pre-nup took 1 month to deal with and say goodbye. She didnt lose her house, cars, inheritance, and well... everything she had.
The one without the pre-nup took her to the god damn cleaners. having custody of the child, living with my gramma was the only option she had left. She walked away from 10 years of marriage with nothing but the child and debt up to her ears.
People would be absolutely ignorant to think things dont change over 10,20, 30 years. In the past, say the barnyard days as above mentioned, marriages were a business relationship more than anything. They had the kids to help support the farm and family. Everyone had their own roles and jobs. Now that things have changed, women and men compete for the same jobs, roles and responsibilities, there is a big power struggle.
I know weddings are expensive, but I really wish people would focus on the importance of the commitment being made. It's not all about the party. You spend a year planning for this party to be just perfect. No matter what you plan for, or prepare yourself to expect, it is completely beyond your control. The point I was trying to make and obviously missed was that no matter how much you spend, no matter how perfect you plan your wedding day... it is ONE DAY out of the rest of your lives. Shit is going to go wrong. It is beyond your control. It just happens. You should celebrate the commitment and love being shared, not worry about what other people think. How many weddings have you seen go completely horribly wrong? The brides hair is a wreck. The groom's shoe lace is untied. The band wasnt the band they originally wanted. It's not what people remember!! They remember the couple, the smiles, the tears of joy, the friends and good times had.
Best of luck to you both. I really do hope things work out. I have seen way too much pain and hurt come from making the wrong decisions in life. Remember that no matter what shit happens, what goes down, or up... You both have each other and that is more than many people have their whole life.