Dear "The 'ladies' who use the 16th floor restroom":
First and foremost, I understand that you've probably only been using a toilet for about 20-50 years and that the target, while stationary, can be a bit tricky. However, in the event of a tinkling mishap, would you please be dears and clean the seat post evacuation? It's not a pleasant sensation to park one's posterior on a post piss pot.
Second, I would just like to brief you on the process. Step one, enter stall. Step two, take down trousers (or pull up skirt). Step three be seated and proceed with evacuation. Step four wipe cleanly, step five return to a standing position and pull up trousers (pull down skirt). Step six inspect seat and clean if necessary. Step seven...and most importantly...flush the goddamn thing. Really, I don't care that you had corn and peanuts for lunch.
Third, I realize they only provide three rolls of toilet paper per each stall and given the recent push (pardon the pun) to go green, I respect your choice to conserve. However, must you wipe the remnants of your daily poo on the wall not inches from the roll of toilet paper? I think even Al Gore would support your decision to dent that tree. This same rule applies to whatever funk is coming from your nose and/or other orafices.
Thanks in advance for your cooperation,
Jen
PS: If you're too weak to turn off the faucet, hit the gym before I hit you. *smooches*
