I've known this American guy working in Japan for 2 years. The relationship between I and him is simply work, no more than that.
Last December in 2010 when he was having holiday in Bali with his 2 Japanese friends, he was also looking for a local person to continue the work we've had, so I offered myself to continue working with him during his holiday in Bali, and he agreed to pay for my flight & hotel in Bali.
On the first day we met (I've never seen him face to face before, only communicating online), he asked me to have lunch together with his 2 Japanese friends at a nearby restaurant, and I agreed. But to my surprise, with the excuse that I didn't speak Japanese, he asked me to sit at a different table, alone, while he sat at another table together with his 2 friends. (The formation of this table is 4 by 4, so there is still empty seat at that table). At this point I felt hurt and embarrassed, feeling as if I had a horrible, disgusting disease that would make me sit at a different table.
Not wanting to argue and spoil the situation, especially in front of his 2 Japanese friends who were quite friendly, I said nothing to him.
On my last day in Bali, he again asked me to have breakfast together with his other 2 Japanese friends at the hotel, but this time the 4 of us sat together at the same table.
But again, I was surprised when suddenly he asked me to leave first. At first I didn't wanna leave, because I thought it was very rude to leave first when everyone was still seated. But he insisted me to leave, by saying,"don't you have to pack?" When I said I'd packed, he continued saying," don't you have to ....?"..
At last I felt tired, and I left, leaving the 3 of them still sitting at the table.
Again I felt truly hurt and humiliated!
I kept on thinking why on earth did he treat me that way? Did he realize that what he did really hurt and humiliate me??? Why would he ask me to leave since even if they wanted to discuss a secret, I wouldn't understand what they were talking about since they all always spoke in Japanese. This American guy has been living in Japan for 22 years and working as a teacher, and so are his other Japanese friends.
Last week he asked me to come to Bali again since he and his friends will come to Bali again this December, but I refused. I'm still hurt by the way he treated me last year.
How would you feel if you were me? Am I being too sensitive here? What kind of guy do you think he is judging from my experience with him last year?
Last December in 2010 when he was having holiday in Bali with his 2 Japanese friends, he was also looking for a local person to continue the work we've had, so I offered myself to continue working with him during his holiday in Bali, and he agreed to pay for my flight & hotel in Bali.
On the first day we met (I've never seen him face to face before, only communicating online), he asked me to have lunch together with his 2 Japanese friends at a nearby restaurant, and I agreed. But to my surprise, with the excuse that I didn't speak Japanese, he asked me to sit at a different table, alone, while he sat at another table together with his 2 friends. (The formation of this table is 4 by 4, so there is still empty seat at that table). At this point I felt hurt and embarrassed, feeling as if I had a horrible, disgusting disease that would make me sit at a different table.
Not wanting to argue and spoil the situation, especially in front of his 2 Japanese friends who were quite friendly, I said nothing to him.
On my last day in Bali, he again asked me to have breakfast together with his other 2 Japanese friends at the hotel, but this time the 4 of us sat together at the same table.
But again, I was surprised when suddenly he asked me to leave first. At first I didn't wanna leave, because I thought it was very rude to leave first when everyone was still seated. But he insisted me to leave, by saying,"don't you have to pack?" When I said I'd packed, he continued saying," don't you have to ....?"..
At last I felt tired, and I left, leaving the 3 of them still sitting at the table.
Again I felt truly hurt and humiliated!
I kept on thinking why on earth did he treat me that way? Did he realize that what he did really hurt and humiliate me??? Why would he ask me to leave since even if they wanted to discuss a secret, I wouldn't understand what they were talking about since they all always spoke in Japanese. This American guy has been living in Japan for 22 years and working as a teacher, and so are his other Japanese friends.
Last week he asked me to come to Bali again since he and his friends will come to Bali again this December, but I refused. I'm still hurt by the way he treated me last year.
How would you feel if you were me? Am I being too sensitive here? What kind of guy do you think he is judging from my experience with him last year?
