a couple from when I was going through a bad patch

[DaveM]

lie on my bed, blood stained
this is how I cry
dig a little deeper
cut out all the anger
push the blade into my wrist
want it all to be over
in my despair I think of you
the thought stays my hand
my only ray of light
in the blackness of my mind


cut a little deeper
bleed away the hurt
replace on pain with another
upset replaced by fear
slip away with open eyes
everybody dies

 

[Sparkey Duck]

Sorry, I know this is old, BUT THAT is how you lay out a poem kudos

 

[SouthOfHeaven]

Damn Dave.. I actually started to tear up..

 

[COOL_BREEZE2]

Never cut yourself for someone else.

 

[Godsloveapples]

I can't finish reading it....
"push the blade into my wrist"
*shivers*

 

[COOL_BREEZE2]

I can't finish reading it....
"push the blade into my wrist"
*shivers*

Yeah, that's just kinda too chillin for me too.

I could never do that to myself. No way.

 

[Kat]

I think I know how you felt when writing this better than some. Great poem...it hit very close to my heart

 

[Sparkey Duck]

I think the poem is rather weak in itself, somewhat too self indulgent. The problem is, with no connection to the writer or to circumstance, any feeling I do get would have to be put on to myself, and since I've never done anything like that, I'm left cold.

But, I don't think that it is meant for anyone else. I think with technique like that, structure and use of words, DaveM should carry on writing poetry

 

[DaveM]

I think the poem is rather weak in itself, somewhat too self indulgent. The problem is, with no connection to the writer or to circumstance, any feeling I do get would have to be put on to myself, and since I've never done anything like that, I'm left cold.

But, I don't think that it is meant for anyone else. I think with technique like that, structure and use of words, DaveM should carry on writing poetry

ta duck, yesh, it wasn't meant to be seen, but I thought, what the hell, nd posted it, I was encouraged to write instead of bottle everythign up =]



thanks everyone who commented

 

[Sparkey Duck]

ta duck, yesh, it wasn't meant to be seen, but I thought, what the hell, nd posted it, I was encouraged to write instead of bottle everythign up =]



thanks everyone who commented

Yeah, keeping things in side for the loss

write more man, love the style... kinda like mine

 

[KittyKatM]

=]
Lovely Poetry Babes

 

[Mystic]

wow...scary...but GOOD!

 

[KittyKatM]

want it all to be over
in my despair I think of you
the thought stays my hand
my only ray of light
in the blackness of my mind

This Bit Is Beautiful
x

 

[dazner]

damn that was deep...

nice and propz on the drop..