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OK...Rob is back, and will kindly ask you to post wohore in other threads...this is a contest and it is "vewy sewious"
now, the dog pic was funny and cute...a little bit of bonus on that
the boil under arm story was a little gross, but a nice pay off in the end..
The celine dion joke made me LOL...but i didnt quite "about pee myself"
but for those who are interested(and i will check with V on it) the celine dion joke is a bit in the lead!!
now, the dog pic was funny and cute...a little bit of bonus on that
the boil under arm story was a little gross, but a nice pay off in the end..
The celine dion joke made me LOL...but i didnt quite "about pee myself"
but for those who are interested(and i will check with V on it) the celine dion joke is a bit in the lead!!
Brujahpriest
Jedi Hunter
What if the PWing was a comunal submission for the contest? 
Ok.. nother entry
True story:
I once got out of a ticket for speeding, because I was crying....
I was lost in northern Kentucky, was late for work. I was in Northern KY cause I went to a campout the night before, and left but .. as I said got lost on the way back. It was raining pretty severly but that didnt stop my 20 year old self (this was a while ago) from topping out speeds of 85-90 MPH in a 55 MPH zone, despite standing water on the highway.
I get pulled over by a cop who had consequently been trying to pull me over for a few miles (but I didnt hear him over my blaring music). He comes to the car in full cop swagger screaming up a storm and finally asks where I was going in such a hurry....stuttering and face streaming with tears... I said "Sir, Im.... just trying to get home" ... my response turned the cop from badass on a mission to overly concerned father type.. instantly... who then gave me a small lecture on safe driving speeds and let me go. (yes I did 55 the rest of the way home)
Ok.. nother entry
True story:
I once got out of a ticket for speeding, because I was crying....
I was lost in northern Kentucky, was late for work. I was in Northern KY cause I went to a campout the night before, and left but .. as I said got lost on the way back. It was raining pretty severly but that didnt stop my 20 year old self (this was a while ago) from topping out speeds of 85-90 MPH in a 55 MPH zone, despite standing water on the highway.
I get pulled over by a cop who had consequently been trying to pull me over for a few miles (but I didnt hear him over my blaring music). He comes to the car in full cop swagger screaming up a storm and finally asks where I was going in such a hurry....stuttering and face streaming with tears... I said "Sir, Im.... just trying to get home" ... my response turned the cop from badass on a mission to overly concerned father type.. instantly... who then gave me a small lecture on safe driving speeds and let me go. (yes I did 55 the rest of the way home)
satinbutterfly
Miss Piggy
What if the PWing was a comunal submission for the contest?
Ok.. nother entry
True story:
I once got out of a ticket for speeding, because I was crying....
I was lost in northern Kentucky, was late for work. I was in Northern KY cause I went to a campout the night before, and left but .. as I said got lost on the way back. It was raining pretty severly but that didnt stop my 20 year old self (this was a while ago) from topping out speeds of 85-90 MPH in a 55 MPH zone, despite standing water on the highway.
I get pulled over by a cop who had consequently been trying to pull me over for a few miles (but I didnt hear him over my blaring music). He comes to the car in full cop swagger screaming up a storm and finally asks where I was going in such a hurry....stuttering and face streaming with tears... I said "Sir, Im.... just trying to get home" ... my response turned the cop from badass on a mission to overly concerned father type.. instantly... who then gave me a small lecture on safe driving speeds and let me go. (yes I did 55 the rest of the way home)
:24::24::24:
Oh you're good... :thumbup
Here's my Trye Life story:
When I was 14 I decided I wanted to get Baptized. (I was Baptist at the time, so it is not like other denominations where you get Baptised with sprinkles of water at a few months old... )
So I go to church that night and have my youth pastor begin the ceremony. As he asks me to walk down into the Baptism Pool I slipped and fell right into the middle of it! Right in front of God and all the congregation. Everyone laughed and my youth pastor said "Well, looks like I am not needed, she just Baptised herself!"
When I was 14 I decided I wanted to get Baptized. (I was Baptist at the time, so it is not like other denominations where you get Baptised with sprinkles of water at a few months old... )
So I go to church that night and have my youth pastor begin the ceremony. As he asks me to walk down into the Baptism Pool I slipped and fell right into the middle of it! Right in front of God and all the congregation. Everyone laughed and my youth pastor said "Well, looks like I am not needed, she just Baptised herself!"
Okay..... I posted this one here awhile ago, but I still find it very funny...
Women's Ass Size Study:
There is a new study about women and how they feel about their asses, the results were pretty interesting:
30% of women think their ass is too fat............
10% of women think their ass is too skinny......
The remaining 60% say they don't care, they love him, he's a good man, and they wouldn't trade him for the world.
Women's Ass Size Study:
There is a new study about women and how they feel about their asses, the results were pretty interesting:
30% of women think their ass is too fat............
10% of women think their ass is too skinny......
The remaining 60% say they don't care, they love him, he's a good man, and they wouldn't trade him for the world.
satinbutterfly
Miss Piggy
WHY MEN SHOULD NEVER BE DEPRESSED
Men are Just Happier People?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom bcause this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks and engines.
A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Your underwear is $2.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife..
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
Men are Just Happier People?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom bcause this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks and engines.
A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Your underwear is $2.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife..
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
Brujahpriest
Jedi Hunter
I dont think I have ever paid that little for underwear... ever.
Another one for me... I actually almost bought this for my son...
Tyler Durden
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