#1 rules of the office!!!

E

Elle

Banned
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#1: Do Not Spray Your Shitty Perfume Out Here!! Go In The Bathroom, Where Miss "crap Her Brains" Out Is Shittin' Away Anyway. Might As Well Provide The Air Freshener To Her 2 Hour Long Craps!!

#1: Do Not Cook Freegin Fish/seafood In The Gotdamned Microwave! This Is A Communal Deal Here. Gtfo With Your Crotch Smelling Food. I Do Not Want To Eat My Food Infused With The Essence Of Whatever Dead Sea Creature You're Scarfing.

#1: Do Not Call Your Kids, Or Take Their Calls If Your Conversation Will Only Consist Of "you Mutherfucking Piece Of Shit, Get The Fuck Out Of My House." We Don't Want To Hear It.

#1: Do Not Leave Your Effin Loud Ass 500 Decibel Meeting On Speaker Phone And Yell Into The Phone With Your Repsonses!! What The Hell Is Wrong With You People?

#1: Do Not Hover Near People's Areas/offices And Have A Convention About How Your Drive In Was Horrendous! It's This Way For Each And Every Person That Lives Around Here! I Also Do not Care To Hear How You 500lb People Complain About Being That Way, But Then "who's Gonna Go Get Me A Baconator?!"
 
Elle said:
#1: Do Not Leave Your Effin Loud Ass 500 Decibel Meeting On Speaker Phone And Yell Into The Phone With Your Repsonses!! What The Hell Is Wrong With You People?
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I do this. With the door closed. Sometimes I get tired of holding the phone.
 
Elle said:
#1: Do Not Cook Freegin Fish/seafood In The Gotdamned Microwave! This Is A Communal Deal Here. Gtfo With Your Crotch Smelling Food. I Do Not Want To Eat My Food Infused With The Essence Of Whatever Dead Sea Creature You're Scarfing.
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Amen to that!! I can't tell you how sick I am of having to hold back my nausea because some sick bastard thinks it's ok to eat dried cuttlefish or some shit for lunch!!!!
 
I'm pretty sure all my male coworkers have really short penises. Because there is always a decent amount of urine on the floor in front of the urinal. Please, boys, step up to the plate. :smiley24:
 
Oh man, I ran in to assault the trusty vending machine for some doughnuts this morning, and there it all was: a filthy coffee cup sitting in the sink. It was laden with the thickest coffee stains I ever did see. I'm quite certain that you could've repaired a leaky roof with the scrapings of the inside of that mug.
 
I should have thrown it out and left a note.

Oh - that something I'm FAMOUS for doing!!

I should see if I can find the notes I left on the fridge - anonymously. I just practically pissed my pants every time I heard someone mention, "Omg, did you see that note on the fridge?!! Go read it!"

It's my own personal fun that I create for myself. And no one would ever think that stuff was done by me, unless they were a GOOD friend or something.

I rick rolled a coworker all last week. I was seriously sweating from trying not to burst out laughing at her reactions.
 
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