want to read a few of my poems? rating them would be great too...

[JuggaloGemini]

Here is another one I wrote as an Ode when my cousin Dave died 7 months ago...
its posted in SammyStephens's thread about how his cousin just passed away but figured I would put it in here as well

Please Don't Cry For Me


I know you all miss me,I am so very far away,

You'll think of me often, probably most of the day.

I've left this world and all of its pains,

I've left my dreams and all there was left to gain.

Please don't cry for me and ask yourselves why?

I am forever free now, up here in the sky.

I am no longer asking "Is there something much more?"

I now have arrived, at my fathers front door.

I am so very sorry for this loss that you feel,

Remember our good times in your hearts, it will help you to heal.

Please don't cry for me and ask yourselves why?

I am forever free now, up here in the sky.

I am at peace now, I can see clearly at last,

I don't cloud my mind up, as I did in my past.

There is no one to blame, my eyes were open wide,

I love you all deeply, thanks for being there by my side.

Please don't cry for me and ask yourselves why?

I am forever free now, up here in the sky.



Copyright ©2009 Dustin Allen Severson

 

[AUDRAA]

in other news, poetry is for queers.

heres a recommendation for you....
If you cant say anything nice please dont say anything at all

 

[BadBoy@TheWheel]

in other news, poetry is for queers.

Ahem:thumbdown

 

[JuggaloGemini]

As much as the subject matter is sensitive, your actual prose don't have any rhythm. They feel forced like you were just trying to rhyme, not make a powerful text. Try using a different rhyming structure, or not rhyming at all. And always read what you write out loud back to yourself.

in other news, poetry is for queers.

Oh is that why one of my poems is a finalist in the International Poetry Contest? Hundreds of thousands of other poets and poems and out of 500 finalists I am 1 of the above... Ha ya did get me to LOL at your comments... poetry is for queers... Not poetry is just a way for some people to let it all out... stay sane... unload their brain...

 

[BadBoy@TheWheel]

Oh is that why one of my poems is a finalist in the International Poetry Contest? Hundreds of thousands of other poets and poems and out of 500 finalists I am 1 of the above... Ha ya did get me to LOL at your comments... poetry is for queers... Not poetry is just a way for some people to let it all out... stay sane... unload their brain...

Don't let anyone drag you down, it was fantastic work. And let's face facts, creative people are the foundation of civilization. I promise you the wheel was drawn first.

I liked the poetry:thumbup

 

[JuggaloGemini]

heres a recommendation for you....
If you cant say anything nice please dont say anything at all

Ahem:thumbdown

Thanks for saying something but I also feel that a person has gotta have a little bit of negative feed back... :cool

 

[BadBoy@TheWheel]

Thanks for saying something but I also feel that a person has gotta have a little bit of negative feed back... :cool

I don't feel like poetry being called queer is constructive criticism though...So I gave that guys post the thumbs down

 

[AUDRAA]

Thanks for saying something but I also feel that a person has gotta have a little bit of negative feed back... :cool

constructive critisizm is one this being a smartass is another

 

[satinbutterfly]

constructive critisizm is one this being a smartass is another

Exactly. :homo:




You write good stuff JG... I am seriously impressed. :nod:

 

[JuggaloGemini]

I don't feel like poetry being called queer is constructive criticism though...So I gave that guys post the thumbs down

constructive critisizm is one this being a smartass is another

Yeah you both have a good point... he was kinda outta line... especially calling poetry queer! but he's entitled to have his own opinion... just doesn't need to voice it lol

Exactly. :homo:




You write good stuff JG... I am seriously impressed. :nod:

Thank you satinbutterfly

 

[nursey1972]

once again... true talent!

 

[JuggaloGemini]

once again... true talent!

*blushing* and thank you my beautiful mistress

 

[GuesSAngel]

and here's a recommendation for you...
Not being allowed to say what you think is the first step to tyranny. Whatever happened to free speach!? I poke fun at someone in a half-arsed way and you mods flip out.
Lighten up dude, it's only the internet.

whatever happened to people that know how to spell?!

Speech.

 

[dt3]

and here's a recommendation for you...
Not being allowed to say what you think is the first step to tyranny. Whatever happened to free speach!? I poke fun at someone in a half-arsed way and you mods flip out.
Lighten up dude, it's only the internet.

So you want to be allowed to say whatever you want. But if we express displeasure with your comment, that's tyrannical? We don't get to voice our opinion because we're mods? :thumbdown

Lighten up dude, it's only the internet.

 

[JuggaloGemini]

and here's a recommendation for you...
Not being allowed to say what you think is the first step to tyranny. Whatever happened to free speach!? I poke fun at someone in a half-arsed way and you mods flip out.
Lighten up dude, it's only the internet.

Look I was just gonna let this shit just slide,
but the remarks your making are a little snide!
This is OTZ there are rules and what they say goes,
I am gonna say this shit once so that everybody knows.
When you said poetry is for queers I nearly lost it,
but whats funny is your the one coming out the closet!
Then basically told me my rhyming skills are shit,
but now its my turn to flip the script!
You need to get your illiterate ass back in school,
learn to spell so when you talk shit you don't look like a fool!
I kept my mouth shut last time you insulted me,
but this time I wanted to let you be the one to see.
that I can rhyme and not struggle one bit,
just goes to show that you don't know shit!
So you said your little piece and poked your fun,
now bounce the fuck out my thread minusone!:nuts:

 

[GuesSAngel]

Look I was just gonna let this shit just slide,
but the remarks your making are a little snide!
This is OTZ there are rules and what they say goes,
I am gonna say this shit once so that everybody knows.
When you said poetry is for queers I nearly lost it,
but whats funny is your the one coming out the closet!
Then basically told me my rhyming skills are shit,
but now its my turn to flip the script!
You need to get your illiterate ass back in school,
learn to spell so when you talk shit you don't look like a fool!
I kept my mouth shut last time you insulted me,
but this time I wanted to let you be the one to see.
that I can rhyme and not struggle one bit,
just goes to show that you don't know shit!
So you said your little piece and poked your fun,
now bounce the fuck out my thread minusone!:nuts:

wow. you're like p.diddy or something like that :clap

 

[JuggaloGemini]

wow. you're like p.diddy or something like that :clap

No way I'm just a broke ass white guy! P.shitty is a rich ass knuckle! lol
but thanks for the compliment none the less

 

[The Joker]

That is correct Joker BUT I think you may have been correcting someone else as MommyOfAnAngel never said your in the one you corrected?.?.?.

*cough*

If your trying your hardest but don't feel you will win,
as the light fades out and shadows come creeping in.

*cough*

 

[The Joker]

Look I was just gonna let this shit just slide,
but the remarks your making are a little snide!
This is OTZ there are rules and what they say goes,

*cough* you're* *cough*.

 

[wednesday]

Well i think it was fucking brilliant Mat...
as for minion...(yer thats what im gonna call ya cuz your someones minion) ....dont be dropping by my page without a nice lil message for me...i dont like gawking nosey people...