LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch or
you'll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll
to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is
directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone:
If you dial a wrong number,
you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work
because you had a flat tire, the
very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you
were in will start to move faster than the one you
are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath :
When the body is fully immersed in water,
the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know
increases when you are with someone
you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone
that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of the yard sale:
When trying to prove to someone that
the item you're selling will work, it won't.
Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is
inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theatre:
At any event, the people whose seats
are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
your boss will ask you to do something
which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers
Law of Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing
face down on a floor covering are directly
correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of the Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
And, my personal favorite,
The Law of Wal-Mart:
As soon as you find a product that you really like,
they will stop carrying it.
*sigh* and We cant forget
The Law of Bacon:
"I am the most Dangerous Site Mod in the world, I have your IP address and i make Bombs. Don't Fuck with me"
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch or
you'll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll
to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is
directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone:
If you dial a wrong number,
you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work
because you had a flat tire, the
very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you
were in will start to move faster than the one you
are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath :
When the body is fully immersed in water,
the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know
increases when you are with someone
you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone
that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of the yard sale:
When trying to prove to someone that
the item you're selling will work, it won't.
Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is
inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theatre:
At any event, the people whose seats
are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
your boss will ask you to do something
which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers
Law of Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing
face down on a floor covering are directly
correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of the Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
And, my personal favorite,
The Law of Wal-Mart:
As soon as you find a product that you really like,
they will stop carrying it.
*sigh* and We cant forget
The Law of Bacon:
"I am the most Dangerous Site Mod in the world, I have your IP address and i make Bombs. Don't Fuck with me"
damn you lawz!
