Who should be the leader in a relationship?

[drkn335]

Obviously tradition tells us the man should be the leader of the relationship, and that he should be able to take full control of what happens, and all the things that the couple does. But now, things are different, and it seems to me like women are becoming more in control of relationships? But what do you think? Who should be in control?

Would you want to be ion control, or would you want the other person to be in control?

 

[griz bear]

Why wouldn't it be shared ?

 

[brezzy]

A relationship is not a government so I think there is no necessary to choose a leader, lol!

But seriously, in a relationship it is important to share important stuffs like decision makings. Both should have part to listen and to talk. The word control will never help the relationship to work further. So I do not see any sense of it.

 

[NoDak]

I usually go with her preferences, unless I'm VERY against the outcome, then I'll stand firm. However, we do talk things out and come to a mutual agreement.

 

[Aries]

There should be no control at all. That's archaic thinking. No one person is more important than the other.

 

[mauricioq]

In my opinion a relationship does not involve any "control", both partners should be able to trust the other, so there's no need for control.
My relationships have always been like this, and it's fine.

 

[Joe the meek]

It's shared in ours. That said, my wife is the brains of the outfit, one reason why I married her.

 

[butterflylover]

A relationship is not a government so I think there is no necessary to choose a leader, lol!

But seriously, in a relationship it is important to share important stuffs like decision makings. Both should have part to listen and to talk. The word control will never help the relationship to work further. So I do not see any sense of it.

I agree,a relationship is based on comitment,trust,love,and respect.

 

[Kakapo Dundee]

No single person is an expert on everything.The smart couple is the one that divides responsibility for leadership according to capability.

 

[drkn335]

Why wouldn't it be shared ?

There are many reasons why it wouldn't be shared, not everybody likes to share control! I know many people who like to take control, and many others who like the other person to make all the decisions. I was simply asking whether people prefer either one, or for it to be shared

 

[drkn335]

It is not always so easy for everything to be shared either, although that is, in most cases, the preference.

 

[Josie]

I would never be with someone who needs to feel in control in the relationship and I don't want control of another human being. I don't control my kids, I certainly won't control another adult. equal partnership or I'm out.

 

[ReadmeByAmy]

In my own point of view in a relationship both partners should have the same responsibility for all the decision making and equal rights to participate to things that will be of importance to the relationship. There is no such what you may call a leader in the relationship.

 

[Kaylah]

I don't think there should be any leader at all. A couple should make decisions together. Controlling relationships are never healthy or right. Nobody needs to be in control of anyone or make all the decisions.

 

[akasha24]

I may be old fashioned but I think that men should lead. Nowadays, I feel that women are too masculine and men have become a little feminine. Women are too independent and have gotten used to doing everything by themselves and some men feel unneeded because of this. I do believe that masculine attracts feminine, so if a man is masculine, he will not want to be with a woman who is masculine, he will most likely be attracted to a feminine woman.
It just doesn't feel right when I see a woman on the street who is controlling her man, acting bossy and telling him what to do. Some men just don't say a word and it's just not the way it should be. The man should be the protector, the leader and the provider, not the other way around.

 

[TABL]

I may be in the minority, but I like my husband to be in charge. Obviously, I have say. But ultimately, I want him to take care of me and protect me and take care of everything. Meaning, he has final say, and I trust him.... If there is a decision to be made, it almost always falls to him. And he is a great decision maker, where I'm not.

 

[MyDigitalpoint]

I believe that in a relationship none of the two involved should be in control, but holding a situation on equal terms.

On the other hand talking about "control" is many times associated to money, based on the premise that in the past men do not only were meant to be leaders in a relationship but also who took money to home. Perhaps men's physical strength and the ability to provide their homes with the money needed was what naturally made them leaders.

Today I dislike the idea that a woman have to pay for a man's expenses and still have to care for her house and children, besides having them. This is too much for a woman and many men take advantage of this by using their own money to have fun elsewhere.

But in a relationship where both have same rights and same control, there is no problem and more opportunities to succeed together.

 

[NuckingFuts]

I personally believe that there should not be a leader. It should be an equal relationship.

 

[Firelily99]

Both people in a relationship should have a say in how things are going to be. Why should one person decide everything? When that dynamic is in place then one person will be ego driven and the other will suffer self esteem issues from never having a say.

 

[tamron]

Relationships aren't about leadership. Or, they can be, but that's not a bad thing.

Relationships aren't about a permanent leader. In a perfect world, obviously each partner would share everything equally, but that's not the way it works. There's times one has to rely on the other, where one has to prop up the other or motivate or scold the other. There's times one's decision or opinion has more weight in a given circumstance.

Best not to try and figure out who is going to lead, and both take responsibility and initiative when it comes.