Dead Beat Fathers

[The Man]

If a dad can get locked up for not supporting his child...then why doesnt a mother get locked up when she goes on welfare?
To furthers its "debtors prison".....Which could be understandable for refusing to pay courts costs in criminal cases...but one can get locked up for not paying his ex.
With that logic why stop there...how about for car payments,house payments, hospital bills {yes that very bill you had while you delivered that baby}....be careful what you wish for.
We are locking people up for non contract payments already...so therefore to transition should be easy for contract debt{house car etc}


To further how is determining the cost to raise a child dependent upon what one{the other} makes?
How is taking a drivers license going to help him in finding a job?
How can one work and pay while locked up?
Essentially you are put in a position of incarceration due to non payment....from there you cant pay.
This would be the same as grounding a child for not going to the library to do his homework....when you had him grounded in his room...very hypocritical.


Additionally...many of these guys have the kid almost half the time anyway
Once you add up the summer...weekends{or every other} date nights breaks and vacations etc you are pretty close to that 182 day mark{half the year}
90 days summer.
40 days for every other weekend.
40 date nights.
Several days for breaks {school and holiday}

 

[Jackass master]

Mine are still costing me and they are in their mid 30's.:mad

 

[AUFred]

20's here but yeah.

 

[The Man]

Daddy Daddy I need a fifty for gas
Sorry honey I dont have any money today.
Mommy Mommy whats wrong with Daddy.

 

[hart]

Well if you lock up a mother for going on welfare who is going to raise the kid? But I hear you. I would much rather pay the mother for job training too. I have seen so many people have babies as a way of "making a living". As for jailing a deadbeat father. Well if he didn't want to have a kid he could have put a condom on couldn't he?

 

[The Man]

Well if he didn't want to have a kid he could have put a condom on couldn't he?

The "crime" is not having a baby its not being able to/refusing to pay the babies momma.

Well if you lock up a mother for going on welfare who is going to raise the kid?

Thats secondary...with that logic you could also say who is going to raise the kid if say she held up a bank.

I would much rather pay the mother for job training too.

Wouldnt it make more sense to pay him job training if we were going to provide job training because a baby is born?...if he is the one facing jail for not being able to pay.....not that I am proposing that either.

I have seen so many people have babies as a way of "making a living"

Same here...although I do think there is a decline as compared to a couple decades ago.

As a side note here is what gets me....both can be together and on welfare..he nor she gets jailed for being "deadbeats"...they can get alot of govt assistance{support}

The "crime" happens after a divorce or in the case they arent married after they break up and are no longer together.

 

[Francis]

If a dad can get locked up for not supporting his child...then why doesnt a mother get locked up when she goes on welfare?

The answer is simple. Because welfare is legal.

Make Welfare illegal and she can be put in jail.

That is the simple answer to your OP question..

 

[GoldDust Woman]

To the OP. That scenario is not always the case. A lot of non-custodial parents work... for CASH. They do this in order to screw the system for the honest people. I'm raising my grandson, due to my daughters death. Dad? LOSER of epic proportion. You can bank on him having his cigarettes, pot, daily Mt. Dew and gas to go wherever the hell he so chooses. He works for CASH to keep from being garnished for child support. My grandson is an athlete... that shit is expensive!

Lock him up? Ha! That's a pipe dream! At this moment there are 2 warrants for his arrest, due to back child support. Does he get picked up and arrested? Sure. For about 10 minutes. He bonds out for $500 bucks, fails to appear on court date, then repeats the cycle. He's not considered a violent criminal, so - he is not incarcerated. Fuck this shit. Woe is me to the non-custodial parent who doesn't take care of his/her child!

Welfare? What's that? I do it all on my own.

 

[hart]

Golddust thank God for people like you. Your grandson is very lucky and he will turn into a fine adult because of you!!!!

 

[GoldDust Woman]

Golddust thank God for people like you. Your grandson is very lucky and he will turn into a fine adult because of you!!!!

Thanks, hart... but, I feel like I'm the lucky one, because he's mine. With that being said... it chaps my frigging ass to no end when I come across topics like this one. There is no justice!

Not only is my boy an athlete, but - he's a straight A student who would benefit greatly from the guidance of a DAD! There are some things that boys need to learn from their Dad's... like mechanics, carpentry, little household projects, that this Grandma just wasn't created to teach. I've taken care of the "make no babies" situation. He got condoms in his stocking for Christmas. By God, come hell or high water, this grandson of mine will be an asset to society!

 

[Jackass master]

Golddust, this sad situation started in the 60's with LBJ and the "great society" giving too much to folks who soon learned to trade their pride for a good living from the work of others. We are now on the 3rd generation of these folks and have added to the ranks with all the illegals. The idea that they can collect benefits and get tax refunds for family still in Mexico just boggles the mind. We are the nation of suckers who pay for all this.

 

[The Man]

The answer is simple. Because welfare is legal.

Make Welfare illegal and she can be put in jail.

That is the simple answer to your OP question..

My goal isnt to place the mother in jail...it was merely a comparison.
Man doesnt support...... a crime....{with woman having custody}
Woman doesnt support while she has custody...not a crime..state aid does the supporting.
Going in debt isnt suppose to be a crime unless done under fraudulent means.
Having sex then having a baby isnt a fraudulent act.

 

[The Man]

To the OP. That scenario is not always the case. A lot of non-custodial parents work... for CASH. They do this in order to screw the system for the honest people. I'm raising my grandson, due to my daughters death. Dad? LOSER of epic proportion. You can bank on him having his cigarettes, pot, daily Mt. Dew and gas to go wherever the hell he so chooses. He works for CASH to keep from being garnished for child support. My grandson is an athlete... that shit is expensive!

Lock him up? Ha! That's a pipe dream! At this moment there are 2 warrants for his arrest, due to back child support. Does he get picked up and arrested? Sure. For about 10 minutes. He bonds out for $500 bucks, fails to appear on court date, then repeats the cycle. He's not considered a violent criminal, so - he is not incarcerated. Fuck this shit. Woe is me to the non-custodial parent who doesn't take care of his/her child!

Welfare? What's that? I do it all on my own.

To the OP. That scenario is not always the case. A lot of non-custodial parents work... for CASH. They do this in order to screw the system

I am sure its pretty common

You can bank on him having his cigarettes, pot, daily Mt. Dew and gas to go wherever the hell he so chooses. He works for CASH to keep from being garnished for child support.

I dont know his finances or how much his child support is.
But if he didnt work for cash...could he pay for rent..utilities,food,insurance etc.
Many people are put below the poverty level after garnishments.
I agree a man should pay something...but shouldnt be jailed for not paying.

Lock him up? Ha! That's a pipe dream! At this moment there are 2 warrants for his arrest, due to back child support. Does he get picked up and arrested? Sure. For about 10 minutes. He bonds out for $500 bucks, fails to appear on court date, then repeats the cycle.

That will vary in different states and locales.

Welfare? What's that? I do it all on my own

*Tips hat*
We need more people like you.

 

[Francis]

My goal isnt to place the mother in jail...it was merely a comparison.
Man doesnt support...... a crime....{with woman having custody}
Woman doesnt support while she has custody...not a crime..state aid does the supporting.
Going in debt isnt suppose to be a crime unless done under fraudulent means.
Have sex then having a baby isnt a fraudulent act.

I was simply answering the OP..

In some jurisdictions Women are as accountable as men but it happen so little that women walk away from children compared to men that you rarely hear of it.

I myself took care of my ex's daughter as if she was my own.. Even when my ex left I still took care of our daughter. My ( her ) daughter now 22 living on her own..

I take good care of our son. Anyone who knows me knows he is my world.

I think a big part of it was keeping our families out of our business and making sure lawyers did not get involved and get all the money our kids deserved. When you hold anomosity towards anyone, you can't move forward and get on with life. If both can get past all the crap and move on with life, the kids will be the biggest winners as well as the parents that have much less stress and can not deal with stupidity all the time.

 

[The Man]

I was simply answering the OP..

In some jurisdictions Women are as accountable as men but it happen so little that women walk away from children compared to men that you rarely hear of it.

I myself took care of my ex's daughter as if she was my own.. Even when my ex left I still took care of our daughter. My ( her ) daughter now 22 living on her own..

I take good care of our son. Anyone who knows me knows he is my world.

I think a big part of it was keeping our families out of our business and making sure lawyers did not get involved and get all the money our kids deserved. When you hold anomosity towards anyone, you can't move forward and get on with life. If both can get past all the crap and move on with life, the kids will be the biggest winners as well as the parents that have much less stress and can not deal with stupidity all the time.

I was simply answering the OP..

By making welfare illegal.....IMO that is not a solution to the problem we have of locking up the other parent who hasnt met his or her debt to the other parent....it doesn't address the issue of debtors prison.

In some jurisdictions Women are as accountable as men but it happen so little that women walk away from children compared to men that you rarely hear of it.

Sounds bias...as a decision should not be made by gender and chance,but rather by outcome, act or lack of....the law should apply equal regardless.

I myself took care of my ex's daughter as if she was my own.. Even when my ex left I still took care of our daughter. My ( her ) daughter now 22 living on her own..

I take good care of our son. Anyone who knows me knows he is my world.

I think a big part of it was keeping our families out of our business and making sure lawyers did not get involved and get all the money our kids deserved. When you hold anomosity towards anyone, you can't move forward and get on with life. If both can get past all the crap and move on with life, the kids will be the biggest winners as well as the parents that have much less stress and can not deal with stupidity all the time.

Well done

 

[Francis]

By making welfare illegal.....IMO that is not a solution to the problem we have of locking up the other parent who hasnt met his or her debt to the other parent....it doesn't address the issue of debtors prison.

I really don't care, is my point..

You complained and I gave you an answer.. Some places, make it mandatory to get work after your child reaches the age of 3 yrs old, and you are employable. Too bad so sad but the Welfare system is there as a safety net, not a tax charity system for all to leach off off.. That's how it works here and when they changed the system many women were totally pissed off but when push came to shove they found work..

In some jurisdictions Women are as accountable as men but it happen so little that women walk away from children compared to men that you rarely hear of it.

Sounds bias...as a decision should not be made by gender and chance,but rather by outcome, act or lack of....the law should apply equal regardless.

How can something equal be bias ( held as accountable ) ?

Just because it happens so little it barely makes the news isn't the press's fault nor is it anyone else's.

Well done

Thanks but it took the two of us to make it happen.. She deserves as much credit although we are apart.. Just because we are no longer meant for each other doesn't mean our kids must suffer and others ( lawyers, courts ) should benefit over our kids.

When people are stupid enough to throw away shit loads of money instead of using common sense than you get this kind of crap you have below..

The more animosity builds the worse it gets. And the more it keeps building the worse the cycle continues to grow. Family and anyone who have to gain from this just love to fuel the fires including the court systems.

 

[The Man]

I really don't care, is my point..

You complained and I gave you an answer.. Some places, make it mandatory to get work after your child reaches the age of 3 yrs old, and you are employable. Too bad so sad but the Welfare system is there as a safety net, not a tax charity system for all to leach off off.. That's how it works here and when they changed the system many women were totally pissed off but when push came to shove they found work..



How can something equal be bias ( held as accountable ) ?

Just because it happens so little it barely makes the news isn't the press's fault nor is it anyone else's.



Thanks but it took the two of us to make it happen.. She deserves as much credit although we are apart.. Just because we are no longer meant for each other doesn't mean our kids must suffer and others ( lawyers, courts ) should benefit over our kids.

When people are stupid enough to throw away shit loads of money instead of using common sense than you get this kind of crap you have below..

The more animosity builds the worse it gets. And the more it keeps building the worse the cycle continues to grow. Family and anyone who have to gain from this just love to fuel the fires including the court systems.

I really don't care, is my point..

You complained and I gave you an answer.. Some places, make it mandatory to get work after your child reaches the age of 3 yrs old, and you are employable. Too bad so sad but the Welfare system is there as a safety net, not a tax charity system for all to leach off off.. That's how it works here and when they changed the system many women were totally pissed off but when push came to shove they found work..

Making welfare illegal as you proposes does not address the issue of "debtors prison" for non custodial parents.
To further its biased as the one with custody can go without funds and receive state aid.....Non support is non support is my point...as said I don't believe in locking up either one.
Would there be outrage if we locked up the one with custody if they weren't earning enough to support the child?...whats the difference?...support is support.
There would be an outrage

How can something equal be bias ( held as accountable )

You stated some/not all....which shows that bias does exist.{perhaps discrimination is a better word}

Just because it happens so little it barely makes the news isn't the press's fault nor is it anyone else's.

Dead beat moms?....Just look around...no news needed for that

Thanks but it took the two of us to make it happen.. She deserves as much credit although we are apart.. Just because we are no longer meant for each other doesn't mean our kids must suffer and others ( lawyers, courts ) should benefit over our kids.

When people are stupid enough to throw away shit loads of money instead of using common sense than you get this kind of crap you have below..

The more animosity builds the worse it gets. And the more it keeps building the worse the cycle continues to grow. Family and anyone who have to gain from this just love to fuel the fires including the court systems

Sounds like you had a decent split up and both were level headed..which is how it should be.
Alot of people have decent separations such as yours...but alot dont.... back to court involved /to make matters worse many women complain they also get jerked by the system as when the father is paying in..they may not get the funds and have to hound the offices for several weeks.

Its a flawed system...some guys make great money and pay 50 to 100 bucks a month...the reason being they could afford a good lawyer.
Its the poor shit that often gets hammered.


About the cleanest I have seen is the man bought the ex a home ,new car,8 grand and said you are are you own...as you now have no house payment nor car payments...he does buy some of the more expensive item for the kids throughout the year...probably averaging three to four hundred a month...he is not rich and with another family raising another child...everybody gets along.
The home was cheap...right place right time 21 grand I think it was...anyway he essentially gave her all his savings...but made the purchases rather than handing her the money.
She landed a good job of about 50 k a year ...then rang up 60 k on credit cards in two years...you have to understand his position on choosing what his savings were spent on.
Home paid for and a new car, 8 grand cash..she made 100 k in 2 years and went in debt 60 k...nothing to show for it.
Thats a lot of money for a small town cost of living in the Midwest.
Thats 80k a year with no house or car payments....about double the household median income for the area.

 

[The Man]

I really don't care, is my point..

You complained and I gave you an answer.. Some places, make it mandatory to get work after your child reaches the age of 3 yrs old, and you are employable. Too bad so sad but the Welfare system is there as a safety net, not a tax charity system for all to leach off off.. That's how it works here and when they changed the system many women were totally pissed off but when push came to shove they found work..



How can something equal be bias ( held as accountable ) ?

Just because it happens so little it barely makes the news isn't the press's fault nor is it anyone else's.



Thanks but it took the two of us to make it happen.. She deserves as much credit although we are apart.. Just because we are no longer meant for each other doesn't mean our kids must suffer and others ( lawyers, courts ) should benefit over our kids.

When people are stupid enough to throw away shit loads of money instead of using common sense than you get this kind of crap you have below..

The more animosity builds the worse it gets. And the more it keeps building the worse the cycle continues to grow. Family and anyone who have to gain from this just love to fuel the fires including the court systems.

I really don't care, is my point..

You complained and I gave you an answer.. Some places, make it mandatory to get work after your child reaches the age of 3 yrs old, and you are employable. Too bad so sad but the Welfare system is there as a safety net, not a tax charity system for all to leach off off.. That's how it works here and when they changed the system many women were totally pissed off but when push came to shove they found work..

Making welfare illegal as you proposed does not address the issue of "debtors prison" for non custodial parents.
To further its biased as the one with custody can go without funds and receive state aid.....Non support is non support is my point...as said I don't believe in locking up either one.
Would there be outrage if we locked up the one with custody if they weren't earning enough to support the child?...whats the difference?...support is support.
There would be an outrage

How can something equal be bias ( held as accountable )

You stated some/not all....which shows that bias does exist.{perhaps discrimination is a better word}

Just because it happens so little it barely makes the news isn't the press's fault nor is it anyone else's.

Dead beat moms?....Just look around...no news needed for that

Thanks but it took the two of us to make it happen.. She deserves as much credit although we are apart.. Just because we are no longer meant for each other doesn't mean our kids must suffer and others ( lawyers, courts ) should benefit over our kids.

When people are stupid enough to throw away shit loads of money instead of using common sense than you get this kind of crap you have below..

The more animosity builds the worse it gets. And the more it keeps building the worse the cycle continues to grow. Family and anyone who have to gain from this just love to fuel the fires including the court systems

Sounds like you had a decent split up and both were level headed..which is how it should be.
Alot of people have decent separations such as yours...but alot dont.... back to court involved /to make matters worse many women complain they also get jerked by the system as when the father is paying in..they may not get the funds and have to hound the offices for several weeks.

Its a flawed system...some guys make great money and pay 50 to 100 bucks a month...the reason being they could afford a good lawyer.
Its the poor shit that often gets hammered.


About the cleanest I have seen is the man bought the ex a home ,new car,8 grand and said you are are you own...as you now have no house payment nor car payments...he does buy some of the more expensive item for the kids throughout the year...probably averaging three to four hundred a month...he is not rich and with another family raising another child...everybody gets along.
The home was cheap...right place right time 21 grand I think it was...anyway he essentially gave her all his savings...but made the purchases rather than handing her the money.
She landed a good job of about 50 k a year ...then rang up 60 k on credit cards in two years...you have to understand his position on choosing what his savings were spent on.
Home paid for and a new car, 8 grand cash..she made 100 k in 2 years and went in debt 60 k...nothing to show for it.
Thats a lot of money for a small town cost of living in the Midwest.
Thats 80k a year with no house or car payments....about double the household median income for the area.

 

[Joe the meek]

What it all boils down to is having children is expensive to properly care for the child. Having sex isn't expesnive and fun. When a child is born, SOMEONE has to take care of them and people don't think.

There are a lot of things you need a license for, having children isn't one of them.

 

[GoldDust Woman]

Thats a lot of money for a small town cost of living in the Midwest.
Thats 80k a year with no house or car payments....about double the household median income for the area.

Note the bold. There is no "small town cost of living" anymore. We're in a small town... our gas is almost 4 bucks a gallon. Milk is flirting with 5 bucks a gallon. I don't care where a person lives - the cost of living is not cheap!

Debtors prison is a great idea. It's like raising a child and trying to teach them responsibility. Where there is no consequence, there is no lesson learned. Lock the dead-beats up each and every time they go into arrears and I bet you they'd find a way to pay each and every month when they get out!