would you let

[Aeval]

Ummm "let"? I have never and will never ask permission to go out with the girls, lol. I would be considerate and give him a heads up, but that's about the extent of it.

It would never bother me if he went out with the boys, we're too old for that nonsense. If he's foolish enough to stray, she can have him, I'll even pack his shit up and leave it at the curb for them.

 

[Staci]

i honestly think that if i were to say "honey im going out with the girls on X day" it will be an issue. LOL

 

[dancingpotato]

I won't be told what to do. Simple.

 

[Natasha]

I'm a firm believer in couples having time apart from each other w/ their friends. I don't want to be stuck up my significant other's ass all the time nor do I want him stuck up mine (*waits for dirty jokes*). If there is trust in a relationship, this shouldn't even be an issue...and if there IS an issue, there are bigger problems to be discussed than a night out w/ the girls or boys.

 

[Aeval]

I'm a firm believer in couples having time apart from each other w/ their friends. I don't want to be stuck up my significant other's ass all the time nor do I want him stuck up mine (*waits for dirty jokes*). If there is trust in a relationship, this shouldn't even be an issue...and if there IS an issue, there are bigger problems to be discussed than a night out w/ the girls or boys.

exactly.

The man was all hung up on us doing EVERYTHING together when we first got together and it drove me crazy. He just thought that's what healthy couples did...ummm....no, not imo.

 

[HK]

I know a couple who do everything together. When we have girls nights out, the husband often comes with us, not because he's paranoid or something - they're just so used to doing absolutely everything together. This is more from her influence than his - she actually is paranoid about him going out without her, and so their relationship has evolved into it not even being talked about any more. They're just always together.

 

[Natasha]

The man was all hung up on us doing EVERYTHING together when we first got together and it drove me crazy. He just thought that's what healthy couples did...ummm....no, not imo.

I'm not even kidding when I say this...my younger brother and his ex-wife used to do EVERYTHING together. I'm talking, he would be in the shower and she would sit on the toilet (not using the bathroom, mind you, just sitting there) and talk to him while he showered. And there were times where they would go to the bathroom together, too.

 

[Jezzebelle]

I often offer to hold GNO at my house since I have the biggest one, my hubby cooks the best meals, and everyone can get drunk and pass out without having to drive... so my hubby often plays along with us as well.

 

[Mercury]

I'm not even kidding when I say this...my younger brother and his ex-wife used to do EVERYTHING together. I'm talking, he would be in the shower and she would sit on the toilet (not using the bathroom, mind you, just sitting there) and talk to him while he showered. And there were times where they would go to the bathroom together, too.

WOW ... there's a good way to "burn-out" real quick! .... of course unless they both really enjoy that!

 

[Aeval]

I know a couple who do everything together. When we have girls nights out, the husband often comes with us, not because he's paranoid or something - they're just so used to doing absolutely everything together. This is more from her influence than his - she actually is paranoid about him going out without her, and so their relationship has evolved into it not even being talked about any more. They're just always together.

If it works for them...that's great. Different strokes, I guess. That would drive me batshit crazy.

I'm not even kidding when I say this...my younger brother and his ex-wife used to do EVERYTHING together. I'm talking, he would be in the shower and she would sit on the toilet (not using the bathroom, mind you, just sitting there) and talk to him while he showered. And there were times where they would go to the bathroom together, too.

That's nuts...I couldn't even imagine it.

 

[Staci]

i know that i have my friends that este knows personally as well as those who he has only heard me talk about.

i am more of a social butterfly than he is LOL

 

[Natasha]

WOW ... there's a good way to "burn-out" real quick! .... of course unless they both really enjoy that!

She was just weird...socially awkward, literally to the point that I was embarassed when she joined our family for a BBQ at my bestfriend's house. I had told her ahead of time that there would be a lot of deaf people there b/c I know that some people are uncomfortable around things they are unfamiliar with...she literally clung to my brother (her head on his shoulder the whole time) and didn't say a word.

If it works for them...that's great. Different strokes, I guess. That would drive me batshit crazy.

I would nut up. If you want to join me while I'm in the shower, hop in and lets get dirty while I get clean. Otherwise, fuck off. :24: Their marriage lasted just over a year.

That's nuts...I couldn't even imagine it.

 

[porterjack]

The word let in the OP is bothersome
It infers permission is needed
What kind of relationship exists within permissive boundaries?
Certainly none that I could endure

 

[anathelia]

I would encourage it. My boyfriend doesn't go out with his friends really because of his work schedule..but considering he and all of his friends are nerdy computer people, I wouldn't be concerned they'd do more than mess around with their computers. Lord knows in high school him and his friends used to hang out at one friend's apartment with three or four TVs playing Halo together for hours on a Saturday.

 

[Darrell]

The wording of this thread kills me (not directed at you at all, Staci).

Just the "would you let" portion.

Married or not, I would not presume I was entitled to deciding when my SO could spend time with her friends,

Maybe that's just me. Maybe I'm over thinking.

 

[Natasha]

Married or not, I would not presume I was entitled to deciding when my SO could spend time with her friends,

Maybe that's just me. Maybe I'm over thinking.

No, you're not overthinking it.

Unfortunately there are couples who think that they must spend ALL of their time together and never do anything separately. I find that most of those couples are incredibly insecure and, for the most part, really don't belong together. If you can't trust your significant other to go out w/ friends and not fall into another woman's vagina, you need to find a new man OR you need to figure out what happened to you in your past to make you so untrusting.

I can tell you that, personally, I cannot STAND to be accused of something I didn't do. So if you're going to accuse me of sleeping around just b/c I like having a night out w/ the girls every once in a while......well, I mean, if I'm going to get bitched out for supposedly sleeping around I might as well do it. :24:

Before anybody jumps on that, I'm totally kidding. I wouldn't stay w/ a man who was constantly accusing me of cheating.

 

[dancingpotato]

I would never stop my SO from going out with his friends. If I had issues with him going out, I like to think there would be good reason and we would talk about it. I would not expect him to stand back and have me tell him what to do because I wouldn't let him do that to me. Double standards and all that.

 

[freakofnature]

I won't be told what to do. Simple.

This. And if I had a SO I wouldn't be telling him what to do either. I refuse to be dominated and I have no desire to dominate someone else. That's not a relationship.

 

[Natasha]

I refuse to be dominated and I have no desire to dominate someone else.

Hey now...a little domination never hurt anybody. :ninja

Oh wait...that's probably not what you meant, huh???

 

[Niamh]

Of course, I trust my husband 100% and I think it's important to spend time with your friends