Is it reasonable for my parents to refuse to help me buy a car?

[Broseph]

Feel free to disagree with me, but here's my situation. I need a car. bad. I've never had one and my parents are unwilling to help me get one. They haven't bought me anything after I turned 13. They don't help with college or books or any of my living expenses. I'm graduating in May and really need a car.

Today my dad offered to give me their 2001 Winstar Minivan that has over 200K miles on it as a "graduation present." (Gee whiz, how generous ) I asked if I could sell it and trade it towards a real car. They said no. Is it just me or are my parents being selfish here? They make enough to be able to help me. I have no idea how to convince them. It always turns into a screaming match if I even bring it up.

A little bit about me:

-22 Year old full time Business Student (Senior Year)
-I've always been responsible with my money. I work hard and save what I earn.
-I have NEVER owned or even come close to owning a car because EVERYTHING I make goes to pay my tuition/books/food/prepaid phone, etc.

A little about my parents:

-My parents run a successful business and makes over $100K per year
-NOT responsible with their money
-Waste their money, have no concept of a budget
-LOST OUR HOUSE (the bank is kicking them out in the next couple months for not paying the mortgage in years)
-Absolutely REFUSE to listen to any suggestions I make about saving or creating a budget​

 

[Staci]

i would take the van and be done with it. as you get older your parents dont owe you anything.

i never got anything from my parents and did it all on my own. i bought my own cars, paid for my own school, etc. think of this as a life lesson

 

[Panacea]

Take the minivan and quit yer bitchin', in my humblest opinion.
It's really good you're responsible with money. Drive the beater until you've saved enough to buy yourself a "real car". No doubt you'll be able to do it sooner than you think.

 

[AnitaBeer]

No your parents do not need to buy you a car. Stuff like that is a luxury not a need, therefore it's not unreasonable for them to refuse.
Also, beggars can't be choosers. If you NEED a car and they offered to give you one then accept it and drive the thing til YOU can afford to buy your own.

I have been responsible for my own cars since I was 14. Why would a 22 year old think it's the parents job to do this?

Whether you are in college or not matters not to this.

 

[Broseph]

I appreciate the honest responses. Maybe it's just me, but if I made that much money, i'd help my kid out a little. In fact, I know i'll help my kids when the time comes. I don't see what's so crazy about that. The van they're offering me is dangerous. That thing is about to have its axel snap off--it's gonna hurt someone. The reason they're offering is so they can say they did something for me for once.

I believe in hard work and being able to provide for yourself, and yeah, life isn't always fair, but come on. really.

 

[Darrell]

Take the minivan and quit yer bitchin', in my humblest opinion.
It's really good you're responsible with money. Drive the beater until you've saved enough to buy yourself a "real car". No doubt you'll be able to do it sooner than you think.

:shesaid

 

[brieze]

I'm trying very hard not to e-slap you right now...

Take the van.

 

[Accountable]

[h=2]Is it reasonable for my parents to refuse to help me buy a car?[/h]

Absolutely.

 

[Alien Allen]

your parents are selfish

and teaching you a lesson

you are lucky you do not have their bad habits

If they give you the van and sign it over to you then do as you please with it. At that point you owe them nothing.

If they don't sign it over then use it and abuse it.

 

[Francis]

Feel free to disagree with me, but here's my situation. I need a car. bad. I've never had one and my parents are unwilling to help me get one. They haven't bought me anything after I turned 13. They don't help with college or books or any of my living expenses. I'm graduating in May and really need a car.

Today my dad offered to give me their 2001 Winstar Minivan that has over 200K miles on it as a "graduation present." (Gee whiz, how generous ) I asked if I could sell it and trade it towards a real car. They said no. Is it just me or are my parents being selfish here? They make enough to be able to help me. I have no idea how to convince them. It always turns into a screaming match if I even bring it up.

A little bit about me:

-22 Year old full time Business Student (Senior Year)
-I've always been responsible with my money. I work hard and save what I earn.
-I have NEVER owned or even come close to owning a car because EVERYTHING I make goes to pay my tuition/books/food/prepaid phone, etc.

A little about my parents:

-My parents run a successful business and makes over $100K per year
-NOT responsible with their money
-Waste their money, have no concept of a budget
-LOST OUR HOUSE (the bank is kicking them out in the next couple months for not paying the mortgage in years)
-Absolutely REFUSE to listen to any suggestions I make about saving or creating a budget
​

If you take anything away from this forum, remember this..

If you have done nothing for anyone, they owe you and you owe them NOTHING.. What any one does out of the kindness of their heart should be appreciated.

Having said that I highlighted some key things you pointed out..

1) just because your parents make 100K a year doesn't mean they get to keep it all. Do you know what types of bills they have and expenses might come along with their business ?
2) You yourself point out, in your opinion,that they are not responsible with their money.. If that's the case perhaps they can ill afford to buy you a car.
3) Wasting to you and wasting to them are two separate topics.. Not going to go there without factual details that we would never get unless we had both sides posting..
4) If they Lost the House, don't you think their credit would be a problem.. Might be a reason they can't get the car as it may well be taken away and might also be the reason they want you to learn to be responsible on your own.. Hence don't make the same mistake they did..
5) It's easy to make suggestions, when your not in the mess, but different to listen to them when everyone tells you how to get out of it.. I am sure they are getting advice from everyone in the world if that's the case.

So when are you buying each of us a car.. We all deserve one for giving you advice. If your a business Major, you know nothing is Free..

PS you do know Universities scan Forums for Assignment answers right.. :24:

 

[anathelia]

I appreciate the honest responses. Maybe it's just me, but if I made that much money, i'd help my kid out a little. In fact, I know i'll help my kids when the time comes. I don't see what's so crazy about that. The van they're offering me is dangerous. That thing is about to have its axel snap off--it's gonna hurt someone. The reason they're offering is so they can say they did something for me for once.

I believe in hard work and being able to provide for yourself, and yeah, life isn't always fair, but come on. really.

I've spent the last two years driving a less than safe car myself, because I couldn't afford to get anything better. I have a daughter who is about to turn 3 that I drive around in it all the time. Sometimes there's not much else you can do about it. You do what you have to until you can afford to do better. If the car needs maintenance, can't you take it in and have the work done on it? Or can't you find a used car that you can buy for a few grand that would have less mileage on it? Your only options are not a perceived death trap or having your parents buy you a car. There are things in between.

 

[Guyzerr]

I appreciate the honest responses. Maybe it's just me, but if I made that much money, i'd help my kid out a little. In fact, I know i'll help my kids when the time comes. I don't see what's so crazy about that. The van they're offering me is dangerous. That thing is about to have its axel snap off--it's gonna hurt someone. The reason they're offering is so they can say they did something for me for once.

I believe in hard work and being able to provide for yourself, and yeah, life isn't always fair, but come on. really.

Who pays your rent?
Who pays the utilities?
Who stocks the fridge and shelves with food?

You're damn lucky they offered you the van. Take it before they change their mind and quit your bitching. Stay out of their lives as far as money goes. It's theirs to do as they see fit.

 

[AnitaBeer]

A little about my parents:

-My parents run a successful business and makes over $100K per year
-NOT responsible with their money
-Waste their money, have no concept of a budget
-LOST OUR HOUSE (the bank is kicking them out in the next couple months for not paying the mortgage in years)
-Absolutely REFUSE to listen to any suggestions I make about saving or creating a budget​

How could you honestly think they owe you a car when you know they are going through such a rough time right now?! That's pretty damn greedy and if I was your parent I wouldn't buy you a car either just based off this crap.
It is THEIR house they are losing and I'm sure they need all of THEIR money to use to put towards catching up on bills.
Remember they are the parents not you. Of course they don't want to take advise from a 22 year old who thinks he's owed something.

 

[Broseph]

Who pays your rent?
Who pays the utilities?
Who stocks the fridge and shelves with food?

You're damn lucky they offered you the van. Take it before they change their mind and quit your bitching. Stay out of their lives as far as money goes. It's theirs to do as they see fit.

I do.
I do.
I do.

Maybe you didn't read my post but I pay for EVERYTHING ON MY OWN. I welcome different insight, but there's no need to be rude.

As for "staying out of their financial lives", I don't have to go very far. I have to listen to my parents scream at each other over simple money issues because they don't have the common sense to create a budget (or let me help them make one). As long as they're going to throw their money away, they may as well let me tap into a stream of it for something that is actually needed/useful.

 

[brieze]

I do.
I do.
I do.

Maybe you didn't read my post but I pay for EVERYTHING ON MY OWN. I welcome different insight, but there's no need to be rude.

As for "staying out of their financial lives", I don't have to go very far. I have to listen to my parents scream at each other over simple money issues because they don't have the common sense to create a budget (or let me help them make one). As long as they're going to throw their money away, they may as well let me tap into a stream of it for something that is actually needed/useful.

Who paid for the first 18 years of your life? IJS

 

[Panacea]

Do you not have any money saved whatsoever? An axel can be fixed, just saying. I know car fixes are expensive, but it's a lot cheaper than a new car. Just throwing out options.

In my opinion, if you live your life expecting anyone on earth to owe you anything you'll be a miserable person. Any time in life someone does something good for you- appreciate it, consider it a huge gift. But it sounds like you'll be capable and better in your life. Respect that.

 

[Natasha]

If you're as responsible as you say you are, get your own damn car. Seriously...this has GOT to be a joke.

 

[brieze]

If you're as responsible as you say you are, get your own damn car. Seriously...this has GOT to be a joke.

I'm thinking it probably is.

 

[HK]

Maybe I missed this, but why do you need a car?


I also agree with Pan - if the van needs some minor repairs, why not just get them fixed? I know a car isn't exactly an investment, but if you need one as badly as you make out then having transport is better than not having it, even if it's not ideal.


Also - whatever your opinion is, no parent is going to feel particularly appreciative of their kid telling them that he knows more about running a household than they do. I'd keep that kind of thing to yourself.

 

[Abcinthia]

I agree with what's been said.

To be honest, you sound like a spoilt child. Boo hoo your parents said NO and you have to save money whilst balancing your tuition/books/food/prepaid phone. You must be the only 22 year old in the world who has to balance their costs and have to WAIT to own/do things you want because you don't have the money. Your parents don't owe you anything and at some point you are going to stand on your own two feet.

Welcome to the real world. It sucks.