Why Men and Women Can't be Friends

[CityGirl]

[video=youtube;T_lh5fR4DMA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA&feature=player_embedded[/video]

I don't think I agree with the conclusion drawn in this video even though I did marry my goood friend after years of friendship. What do ya'll think? Is there any such thing as a platonic relationship? How many of you have an unrequited love?

 

[pjbleek]

[video=youtube;T_lh5fR4DMA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA&feature=player_embedded[/video]

I don't think I agree with the conclusion drawn in this video even though I did marry my goood friend after years of friendship. What do ya'll think? Is there any such thing as a platonic relationship? How many of you have an unrequited love?

have you ever seen When Harry met Sally?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFWGOKuFyjk

 

[BadBoy]

I don't think I agree with the conclusion drawn in this video even though I did marry my goood friend after years of friendship. What do ya'll think? Is there any such thing as a platonic relationship? How many of you have an unrequited love?

How can you not agree with it when you, yourself, are the perfect example? Women think they can just be friends with guys, but every woman knows when a guy wants more, but you choose to ignore it because you love being chased and love the attention. I mean, who doesn't?

Ladies, if you think the guy that you are friends with just wants to be your friend, you are sadly fooling yourself. No straight guy sits there and listens to your BS just because he wants to be your friend.

 

[freakofnature]

You notice how all the people in the video who think men and women can be just friends are the women? I think women find it much easier to deny attraction. I agree with the guys. It's impossible for men and women to be just friends. Whether or not they admit it to themselves and/or publicly, at least one of them will want to go beyond friendship. I speak from experience here.

 

[Panacea]

I much prefer man friends, but I don't feel right about it, often, because of my relationship. I think that tells me men and women as friends often gets murky. I won't say men and women can't or shouldn't be friends, but...it definitely seems to always lead down the wrong path.

 

[AUFred]

Isn't this the basis for friends with benefits? A guy can be friends with a girl but if she wanted to get physical he would be okay with that too. I did have some female friends in college who I had no physical attraction to but those were the exception. Most of the females I hung out with I found attractive as well.

 

[HK]

I'm a strong supporter of the notion that men and women cannot be close friends.

Or rather, I think if they are friends, at least one person in that relationship is settling for 'well if I can't be their partner then at least I can be their friend...' and it's most commonly the man. The only exception to this would be couples who are friends, which is an entirely different ball game. You're not friends with the individual then, you're friends with 'Rick and Mandy' or 'Sue and Joe'.

I think guys are far more likely to stick around a girl they fancy and pretend to be friends. I'm not sure what girls truly believe that none of their male friends fancy them - I've had male 'friends' before and I always knew when there was something more there that they just weren't talking about, more often than not because I had a boyfriend.

Most guys I know just don't bother to hang around with girls as friends unless there's at least a minor attraction there. And hey, I think most women over a certain age wouldn't either - the exception being the cruelest of the species, the teenage girl. They like the attention and they're not quite mature enough to understand how hurtful it can be to their male 'friends'. How many relationship forum posts are by teenage boys asking why they're stuck in their friendzone?

 

[Panacea]

I'm a strong supporter of the notion that men and women cannot be close friends.

Or rather, I think if they are friends, at least one person in that relationship is settling for 'well if I can't be their partner then at least I can be their friend...' and it's most commonly the man. The only exception to this would be couples who are friends, which is an entirely different ball game. You're not friends with the individual then, you're friends with 'Rick and Mandy' or 'Sue and Joe'.

I think guys are far more likely to stick around a girl they fancy and pretend to be friends. I'm not sure what girls truly believe that none of their male friends fancy them - I've had male 'friends' before and I always knew when there was something more there that they just weren't talking about, more often than not because I had a boyfriend.

Most guys I know just don't bother to hang around with girls as friends unless there's at least a minor attraction there. And hey, I think most women over a certain age wouldn't either - the exception being the cruelest of the species, the teenage girl. They like the attention and they're not quite mature enough to understand how hurtful it can be to their male 'friends'. How many relationship forum posts are by teenage boys asking why they're stuck in their friendzone?

I think all of this is really true. I think if men and women could easily be platonic friends, the term "friendzone" might not even exist...that would be where the relationship logically was, else they'd be a couple! So clearly there are times one person is hanging around, unsure of a next move.

 

[HK]

Isn't this the basis for friends with benefits? A guy can be friends with a girl but if she wanted to get physical he would be okay with that too.

Aha! I actually think friends with benefits is the opposite of the friendzone.

The friendzone is normally where men end up. They want to be with a girl but either she's seeing someone else, or he's too afraid to make a move because, I don't know, he's a giant pussy or something. They hang around with the girl and will drop everything to be there for her when her current man dumps her, but if they ever try anything then they get the speech about being like a brother to her and she doesn't want to ruin the great friendship they have (which is based entirely on him wanting to have sex with her).

Friends with benefits on the other hand is a female problem. Men generally have far less issue having sex with someone and not taking it any further - the girl will make a big show of how cool she is with it and how she doesn't want to get tied down either. But every now and then she'll get drunk and ask why they can't just try a relationship, and she'll read far too much into every message he sends, because surely he wouldn't be having sex with her if he didn't feel something, right?


I should know - I spent a year as a 'friend with benefits'. Sometimes you get the opposite in both situations, but I reckon the majority are as I described.

 

[darkcgi]

was that the twin towers I saw in the arch of harry met sally

 

[darkcgi]

I'll admit if I was friends with any woman I would fantasize about them
I could be friends with them as long as I wasnt dying to be with them and they didnt want to be with me
I could not be that guy

 

[pjbleek]

emotions get in the way, one or the other wants the relationship based on friendship to escalate to something more because they think that since they were friends they could push it further, jealousy gets in the way too, you tell your friend you are going to meet up with someone other than them, they may get a little riff...both sides are equally to blame for one of these if not both.

 

[teh_fuzz]

There are the exceptions to the rule, but for the most part men just cannot be a woman's friend.
sadly, most women are either too naive to realize this or like the lust the dude someones feels for them, but in the end this most often leads to problems in either between these so called friends or their respective relationships.

 

[hart]

You guys are nuts! Of course a woman can be a friend with a guy and that's it. I have a couple of good male friends that I am absolutely platonic friends with. A guy at work Steven. He is a guy I talk to about Everything. We hug a lot, he's been to my house several times when Joe is there and when he is not, yes I do find him attractive but that is it. Another guy I have been friends with for years. He's in another city but we've been to his house, I e-mail with him daily, talk to him lots, he knows me very well, another attractive man, knew him before I met Joe. We flirt a lot but Joe knows about that too.

 

[NuckingFuts]

[video=youtube;T_lh5fR4DMA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA&feature=player_embedded[/video]

I don't think I agree with the conclusion drawn in this video even though I did marry my goood friend after years of friendship. What do ya'll think? Is there any such thing as a platonic relationship? How many of you have an unrequited love?

To be honest I could not just be friends with any of those women. I would want to nail them all!

 

[teh_fuzz]

You guys are nuts! Of course a woman can be a friend with a guy and that's it. I have a couple of good male friends that I am absolutely platonic friends with. A guy at work Steven. He is a guy I talk to about Everything. We hug a lot, he's been to my house several times when Joe is there and when he is not, yes I do find him attractive but that is it. Another guy I have been friends with for years. He's in another city but we've been to his house, I e-mail with him daily, talk to him lots, he knows me very well, another attractive man, knew him before I met Joe. We flirt a lot but Joe knows about that too.

We talked about the MEN not wanting to have just a platonic friendship with a woman... men almost always have the hope that at some point they will get a chance to take things a bit further...

The only reason i could probably see your point is if both of these friends of yours were currently in relationships.. IJS

 

[AUDRAA]

wow I am suddenly enlightened by a response on here.
anyway..... I dont know why men and women cant be friends. Do you mean to tell me that some of the guys on here that I consider friends arent really that and just want to get in my pants? Seriously gentlemen if thats the case its kind of sad to think that most of you see being a friend with a woman is not possible, there is alot you can learn from a woman if you can stay in the friendzone that could be helpful to you in a relationship with other women potentially.
Oh and one last thing.... anyone seen that new show on MTV called friendzone? Its kind of cute, its about men and women (women/women, men/men) who have been friends for years and have developed feelings or always had feelings for their friend and want to come out of the friend zone so ask them to go on a date with them and make it a relationship.

 

[darkcgi]

I do believe guys can have girls as friends
but I dont believe that any guy that has that friend even if they never want to be with each ever has thought about having sex with each other

 

[AUFred]

I believe friendship between genders is possible, but keep in mind men are pigs. If they are not in a committed relationship and faithful then a "friend" can become a sexual partner. Unfortunately most men would throw away a friendship over a roll in the hay without thinking further than the length of their member.

 

[Panacea]

I think there is pretty much always a sexual overtone in male/female relationships. I think sometimes the guy learns that being subtle about it makes him look like a creep, so just outright 'joking' "ehhh show me your tits, buddy!!!" is good for a laugh, and sort of numbs the relationship to that moment of 'crossing the line'. I haven't crosses a line, we joke, see??