Funny (but ultimately wrong) answers given on Quiz shows

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[FONT=&quot]UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

Bamber Gascoigne: What was Ghandi's first name?

Contestant: Goosey, Goosey?

THE WEAKEST LINK

Anne Robinson : In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?

Contestant: Jool carriageway.

Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?

Contestant : Bombay.

Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above
lakes?

Contestant: Crocodiles.

Anne Robinson: Wh...?

Contestant (interrupting) : Pass!

Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling
entertainers or chocolate salesmen?

Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.

Anne Robinson : The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels
were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?

Contestant: (long pause) Joe?

Anne Robinson: Who was a famous Indian leader, whose name
begins with G, revered by millions, who was assassinated and received a state
funeral?

Contestant: Geronimo!

NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SET

Eamonn Holmes : What's the name of the playwright commonly
known by the initials G.B.S.?

Contestant: William Shakespeare.

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW, BBC BRISTOL

Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?

Caller: Japan.

Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.

Caller: Er... Mexico?


FAMILY FORTUNES

1) Something a blind man might use? - A Sword
2) A song with the word Moon in the title? - Blue Suede Moon
3) Name the capital of France? - F
4) Name a bird with a long Neck? - Naomi Campbell
5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? - A burglar
6) Where is the Taj Mahal? - Opposite the Dental Hospital
7) What is Hitler's first name? - Heil
8) A famous Scotsman? - Jock
9) Some famous brothers? - Bonnie and Clyde.
10) A dangerous race? - The Arabs
11) Something that floats in a bath? - Water
12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? - A horse
13) Something you wear on a beach? - A deckchair
14) A famous Royal? - Mail
15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? - A bicycle with wings
16) A famous bridge? - The Bridge Over Troubled Waters
17) Something a cat does? - Goes to the toilet
18) Something you do in the bathroom? - Decorate
19) A method of securing your home? - Put the kettle on
20) Something associated with pigs? - The Police
21) A sign of the Zodiac? - April
22) Something people might be allergic to? - Skiing
23) Something you do before you go to bed? - Sleep
24) Something you put on walls? - A roof
25) Something slippery? - A conman
26) A kind of ache? - A fillet of fish
27) A jacket potato topping? - Jam
28) A food that can be brown or white? - A potato
29) Something sold by gypsies? - Bananas
30) Something red? - My sweater



RADIO LINCS PHONE-IN

Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?

Contestant : Barcelona.

Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.

Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.

STEVE WRIGHT SHOW, RADIO 2

Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?

Contestant : India.

Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?

Contestant: Espresso.

Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.

Contestant: Sydney.

THIS MORNING

Judy Finnegan : The American TV show 'The Sopranos' is about
opera. True or false?

Contestant: True?

Judy Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show, so I'll give you that.

BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE

Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?

Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.

BOB HOPE BIRTHDAY QUIZ, LBC

Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
Contestant: Four

BBC GMR, PHIL WOOD SHOW

Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?

Contestant: Er...

Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...

Contestant: Blimey?

Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...

Contestant: (Silence)

Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...

Contestant: Walked?

DARYL'S DRIVETIME, VIRGIN RADIO

Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?

Contestant: Holland?

Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.

Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?

Daryl Denham (Helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?

Contestant: No.

These are all British shows, though some not on TV (i.e. Radio, some now defunct)
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