Open Relationships: Could you/Have you?

[HK]

Has anyone here had or considered an open relationship?

I couldn't do it. I don't think it's a bad thing - if it works for people then good for them, but if I'm honest, I don't like to be anything but number one in an intimate relationship. It would bother me to think that someone else was providing something for my lover that I couldn't, or that they just wanted something different enough to go and actually get it.

So if your partner asked you to consider one, would you? And if you didn't want to do it, would you go long with it anyway just to avoid them breaking up with you?

 

[dkwrtw]

Tough one, I might give it a try.

 

[Abcinthia]

I don't think I could (I'd be too jealous) and I wouldn't go along with it just to avoid breaking up with them.

I don't have anything against them though. People can do whatever they like in their relationship as long as both partners are 100% ok with it.

 

[Tangerine]

I have, and I could again. But it takes a very certain mix of personalities and complete understanding and discussion of the "boundries" of the situation. The relationship I had like that ended not because it was "open", but rather because other areas of our lives weren't in harmony. The sexual part was pretty much the only part that was.

 

[sexysadie]

Casual dating is one thing but my definition of a serious relationship is just that, serious, and I wouldn't be willing to call it serious if other lovers were involved. I'm all for casual dating, I do it myself, as long as you're adult enough to avoid the head games and also know how to protect yourself and the datees you're dating...lol Soooooooooo to make a long story short, if I were in a serioius relationship and my partner asked me to consider turning it into an open one....I'd be hurt, as anybody would, I'd probably do a bit of crying and when that was out of my system, I'd wish him all the best and move on, no hard feelings but apparently he's not the guy I thought I was committing myself to in the first place.

 

[Boomer]

Nuuuu way. I'm not a jealous type, but I devote myself to a woman. I couldnt stand her being touched like that by another person. I couldnt stand touching another woman while I was with someone either. I'm like a dog, loyal to the bitter end as long as you love me.

 

[Dame of Fail]

Has anyone here had or considered an open relationship?

I couldn't do it. I don't think it's a bad thing - if it works for people then good for them, but if I'm honest, I don't like to be anything but number one in an intimate relationship. It would bother me to think that someone else was providing something for my lover that I couldn't, or that they just wanted something different enough to go and actually get it.

So if your partner asked you to consider one, would you? And if you didn't want to do it, would you go long with it anyway just to avoid them breaking up with you?

No to both questions you asked.

I know what a one night threesome can do to a relationship so I can only imagine what an open relationship would do to a relationship.
...You may be emotionally / mentally strong enough to handle it but it doesn't necessarily mean your partner would be... And I'm talking about the partners who suggest it in the first place.

My husband found himself in the same situation as I with one of his ex's... She was all for a threesome, they had it and then she flipped out the next day. 6 months later they broke-up.

Open relationships aren't for the faint-hearted, neither are threesomes. BOTH of you may say you're mentally / emotionally strong enough to embark on this open journey, do it, then find yourself regretting it. Guilt takes over then the resentment then Dooms Day, etc etc.

It takes a very strong relationship no matter how casual or serious you are about one another to travel down this road and survive. Those who usually survive open relationships are those who have been doing this sort of thing for a very long time, belong to swingers groups, etc.

 

[Pumpkin]

No way I could ever be in an open relationship. I would get very jealous and insecure and there is no way I would go along with it if thats what the other half ended. If my boyfriend asked if we could try, it would end the relationship.

I don't have anything against others doing it, but it's not for me

 

[Springsteen]

I couldn't be in one, because to be honest if I'm gonig to be in a relationship with someone I want love from them and only them.

 

[Peter Parka]

I think I could handle it but I dont think my missus could. I find women find it a lot harder than men to seperate emotions and sex and that would cause problems. At the end of the day, why risk losing someone you love for a bit of extra sex?

 

[Butterfly]

Our marriage has been open since day 1. It works for us.

 

[freakofnature]

Nope, not me. Couldn't do it.

 

[Niamh]

No way, I don't share my man with anyone! an No I wouldn't do it to hang on to him either, infact him even asking could end the relationship

 

[purpledove]

I don't think I could (I'd be too jealous) and I wouldn't go along with it just to avoid breaking up with them.

I don't have anything against them though. People can do whatever they like in their relationship as long as both partners are 100% ok with it.

:homo:

Casual dating is one thing but my definition of a serious relationship is just that, serious, and I wouldn't be willing to call it serious if other lovers were involved. I'm all for casual dating, I do it myself, as long as you're adult enough to avoid the head games and also know how to protect yourself and the datees you're dating...lol Soooooooooo to make a long story short, if I were in a serioius relationship and my partner asked me to consider turning it into an open one....I'd be hurt, as anybody would, I'd probably do a bit of crying and when that was out of my system, I'd wish him all the best and move on, no hard feelings but apparently he's not the guy I thought I was committing myself to in the first place.

:homo:

However, I did try it b4 coz i cant just live with the fact that I had to let him go. This was when I moved to another city by myself away from my family. ( I only did it 1 time tho' as the succeeding relationships, I can't be in an open one and had to let go) It ended up though as a test for our relationship as he started realizing I was still the one for him. He never wound up being with another woman, he tried dating but can't move forward. In the end, it strengthened our relationship. So I guess it depends......sometimes guys just need the space to breathe a while. It would be a big risk to take though and be prepared for it's consequences IF you're willing to take that step

 

[porterjack]

Yes indeed am currently in such a relationship
Does not suit everyone though

 

[Dana]

i don't think its for me but if it works for some Like Abcinthia said. I think I'd be a bit jealous.

 

[HottyToddyChick]

I've considered it, but then reality sinks in and I remember that I have a tendency to get jealous. It would be a huge mess, and would destroy everything.

I got very lucky in college. I actually called up one of my friends for a threesome, and but was told they weren't in town. Pretty sure I narrowly dodged a bullet there.

 

[Dana]

I've considered it, but then reality sinks in and I remember that I have a tendency to get jealous. It would be a huge mess, and would destroy everything.

I got very lucky in college. I actually called up one of my friends for a threesome, and but was told they weren't in town. Pretty sure I narrowly dodged a bullet there.

:willy_nilly: That's hot. I must say though I've been in a situation where sex was involved and I was fucking some dudes girl while he was beside me fucking another chick.

 

[brieze]

I'm with you HK. I don't think I could handle sharing. Props to those that can though. I think things would be simpler.
There's not much I won't try in bed and I'm loyal out of bed, so if my lover feels the need for someone else, I see it as a waste of my time. I wouldn't just go with the flow if the idea was brought up.

 

[satinbutterfly]

I couldn't and I wouldn't stay in a relationship with someone who asked me for an open relationship.

But I think it works for some people and more power to them.