Big ol' boobies...

[Chillaxicator]

Ok guys, I know you've all heard my issues before... and I have yet another one. Bit of a rock and a hard spot. My wife has been a little dissatisfied with her appearance for a while, feeling that her breasts are too small. Myself, I'm not a boob guy, and I don't consider physical appearance to be a huge factor. Obviously a person being attractive is important to a degree, but I'm not looking for stereotypical qualities like big boobs, blond hair and an empty skull...

She recently decided that she wants to get a boob job (she's always kinda wanted one, but never been totally decisive about it til now), and she wants to go visit doctors and save money for it and all that. Here's my problem: As I said, I'm not a boob guy, so it's not that important to me that she get them done, and as a point of fact, not only do I find it unnecessary, I flat out DON'T BELIEVE IN COSMETIC SURGERY!! I think it's ridiculous, and that a person should love themselves no matter what and be able to accept themselves, and that all this self pitying garbage is just that, garbage. Having average sized boobs shouldn't give a person a complex. Obviously, I believe in RECONSTRUCTIVE surgeries for people suffering from illnesses or injuries (breast cancer patients, burn victims, etc), but I think that getting a boob job to "feel better about yourself" just seems kinda shallow. If any of you women (or Marilyn Manson) are offended, I apologize, I don't mean to offend, I just really don't understand. The main problem, is that she expects me to be supportive and be a part of this whole stupid process, and help her find a doctor and all that... but how can I keep my mouth shut while shaking the hand of a person who profits off of other peoples' insecurities, which will probably include MY WIFE'S!!?!? I don't know what to do... I can't stop her, I don't own her, but I am also scared to death of the consequences... complications, massive amounts of EXTRA attention from other dudes (which I know she finds important to a degree), swelling of her ego, will she suddenly feel over-confident and leave me somebody better? I'm lost guys... and I'm struggling with this whole issue... Help?

 

[Dana]

I saw boob job and I say nay... Just my personal preference. How small we talkin if you don't mind me prying?

 

[Chillaxicator]

Nah man, I don't mind. Not terribly small, just average size, I can't remember the exact cup size (cuz like I said, I just don't pay attention to boobs that much)... I wanna say a "B" or so... 34B if I remember from our last excursion to Victoria's Secret.

 

[Dana]

she should be happy with what shes got.

 

[MoonOwl]

I can't stop her, I don't own her, but I am also scared to death of the consequences... complications, massive amounts of EXTRA attention from other dudes (which I know she finds important to a degree), swelling of her ego, will she suddenly feel over-confident and leave me somebody better? I'm lost guys... and I'm struggling with this whole issue... Help?

I think that's the crux of your problem with it. If she does leave you she wasn't worth having a relationship with anyway.

Now, I'm going to come from her truly loving you and the thought of leaving you for someone 'better' doesn't even play into it.

If having bigger breasts helps her to feel better about herself, your relationship will be better. Because she feels better about herself. It's that simple.:nod:

 

[Chillaxicator]

I think that's the crux of your problem with it. If she does leave you she wasn't worth having a relationship with anyway.

Now, I'm going to come from her truly loving you and the thought of leaving you for someone 'better' doesn't even play into it.

If having bigger breasts helps her to feel better about herself, your relationship will be better. Because she feels better about herself. It's that simple.:nod:

That's about the only shred of hopefulness I have for this endeavor, is that it WILL actually improve our relationship. If it's going to take 6 grand to make her feel better I guess that's what I'll do... it's just so hard to shit all over my principles and go along with this thing, knowing deep down I don't believe in it at all...

Is it like a way of truly testing how much I love her? Some cruel test by a higher power?

 

[Dana]

I think that's the crux of your problem with it. If she does leave you she wasn't worth having a relationship with anyway.

Now, I'm going to come from her truly loving you and the thought of leaving you for someone 'better' doesn't even play into it.

If having bigger breasts helps her to feel better about herself, your relationship will be better. Because she feels better about herself. It's that simple.:nod:

from someone with a nice set of mangos :ninja

 

[KLD1019]

I think that's the crux of your problem with it. If she does leave you she wasn't worth having a relationship with anyway.

Now, I'm going to come from her truly loving you and the thought of leaving you for someone 'better' doesn't even play into it.

If having bigger breasts helps her to feel better about herself, your relationship will be better. Because she feels better about herself. It's that simple.:nod:

i agree totally with this. ESPECIALLY the last part

I am also a 34B and am not happy with what i have, i can totally understand her POV. Just a little something extra to make MYSELF feel good. that right there is key. she wants to do it FOR HERSELF. why not let her be happy?

Id go no bigger than a full C MAYBE a D. Ive been at full C's and a full D when pregnant and BFing Jace. i know what i would look like with both. Im 5'4 and 120lbs, a full C or a mid C/D is a perfect size for me. Im not sure what her body structure is like, so i cant say what would look good on her. i just know that DD's are TOO BIG. i have a friend who's damn near exact to my body type and she got DD's and they look horrible! way too big!!

and $6000?! wow thats ALOT!! the BEST dr in our area is $3200!!

ANYWAY.....there's my 2cents

ETA: if she goes ahead with the process, its crucial that you support her and be there for her. its tremendous help during the healing process, which can be painful. even though you are against it, she's still your wife and you love her no matter what

 

[Dana]

There are better ways to boost ones self confidence without putting silicone inside your body.... She could always.... Stuff her bra? LOL I mean whos gonna know but you right? LOL

 

[MoonOwl]

That's about the only shred of hopefulness I have for this endeavor, is that it WILL actually improve our relationship. If it's going to take 6 grand to make her feel better I guess that's what I'll do... it's just so hard to shit all over my principles and go along with this thing, knowing deep down I don't believe in it at all...

Is it like a way of truly testing how much I love her? Some cruel test by a higher power?

You may want to totally emphasize that with her too. If you're going to resent her spending $ on a new set of tits every time you see her it's something she may want to consider. Then dump you

I think you need to look at yourself and find why exactly you find the idea so offensive. What if it was her nose? Expecting someone to live w/a perceived flaw when it's in their power to fix it and have more self-esteem is, imho, short-sighted. I know, I know, living w/your flaws builds character. So what?

As long as she's healthy and is doing this for the right reasons, I say more power to her. An excellent doctor will be able to tell in the consult if having larger breasts will indeed help her fix her problems or if in reality, it's a therapist she needs.

from someone with a nice set of mangos :ninja

Yep. Which I've thought of reducing and uplifting. Until I saw the surgery on tv:eek But if I had a small chest for my frame, I'm damn glad I live in a time where an excellent plastic surgeon can take care of what God didn't bless me with.:nod::thumbup

 

[KLD1019]

There are better ways to boost ones self confidence without putting silicone inside your body.... She could always.... Stuff her bra? LOL I mean whos gonna know but you right? LOL

yes, remember a while back i purchased and bragged about that bra i bought that made me look bigger!? i feel amazing with it on and a whole lot better about myself. but at the end of the day, it comes off and im still left with what little i have and that amazing feeling goes away!!

its not the same!

 

[Codrus]

not that my opinion means anything to anyone,..but here it is

don't do it..

1)the divorce rate of breast enhancement patients is higher

2) you may not be a breast man..but once you touch fake breasts...you will miss the old real ones (im not a "boob man" either..but i definitely prefer the feel of real over fake

3)psychologically it may be a self esteem issue,..but what happens when her new tits attract all the attention?, .or just more attention? is she going to just cover them up?..you just paid 6k for'em..and most patients like to show them off after wards..how will you feel when your wife's chest is ogled? ,..i dont know what your wife social life is like...but if you do this and she becomes more "socially active"..it can be a shock or overwhelming to a psyche (both hers and yours)

4)health risks...there is no guarantee that their will not be any problems. a simple Google search will show you what happens when things go wrong. if you have health insurance check to see if it goes up because of the enhancement

here are some other opinions:

In the same boat! Says:
December 18th, 2009 at 12:39 am I hear you on that one, bro. My wife got large implants two years ago and I noticed her entire demeanor begin to change, escalating to staying out all night and even disappearing for a week. She started dressing like a teenager and sharing my daughter’s clothes, and she wears those heels that you can only get at stripper shops.
Her latest stunt was to walk out on the entire family, kids and all, and announce that she had “lost herself along the way” so she was leaving. Of course she drained the bank accounts and took the money and took off looking for a bigger fish to fry.
I agree with the statement above that said the guy who pays for the implants never gets to enjoy them. My wife always used sex and food as weapons anyway, so I barely even got to see the damn things.
I had even been in a doctor’s meeting where this subject was brought up about how women can go bonkers and destroy the family after implant surgery, but I thought 22 years of marriage was solid enough to handle it. How wrong was I?
I was against the surgery from the start, mainly because someday they are going to need to be removed, and how well will the woman take that surgery in her 70’s or above..
I also think they look like crap and are not as attractive or feel anything like people would think. She is in for a rude awakening if she thinks her new boobs will land her a big fish who will think they are worth making any sort of long term commitment for. If the person is flawed in the first place, big boobs are not going to solve that problem.
She also said she was getting them because they would help her self esteem after having them deflated from childbirth. But I saw no increase in her self esteem at all after the surgery. She still hides herself from me, but not to the rest of the world.
It is really an embarrassment at this point to have her running around town like a teenager, and many of my friends and associates are beginning to notice. She has decided to hang around an entirely new crowd of friends, because they tell her what she wants to hear. Our long time friends for years and years all think she has absolutely lost her mind.
At this point she has officially signed over the house, the cars, the kids, everything, and she is gone..
All you need to ruin your marriage is a wife teetering even slightly on the edge of unhappiness, AND JUST ADD BREAST IMPLANTS!! AND JOILA.. YOU’RE DONE!!

1. HanginOn Says:
   December 3rd, 2009 at 8:24 am I can definately see why breast augmentation would lead to higher divorce rates. My wife was forced to have both breasts removed due to cancer concerns. She chose to replace them with considerably larger plastic ones. Within the first year she has developed a need to switch to ultra tight shirts to highlight her new assets. She now feels the need to dress up and hit the clubs (without me) to bask in the attention. Even though I hope she has no desire to cheat, she lives for the attention that she can suddenly attract. I have some fears that if she puts herself in this position enough times, it will lead to infidelity.
   This also leads to additional tension. It’s hard for me not to feel a little insecure when I’m trying to compete with bar guys that don’t have the added baggage of paying bills, maintaining a household, and raising a family that I share with my wife.
   I’m hoping that this is a phase that she will outgrow. When I voice concerns, I get that famous question “don’t you trust me?” If anyone has any suggestions or advice, I’d love to hear it.

1. I R A Darth Aggie Says:
   July 1st, 2008 at 11:08 am If the boob jobs and divorce claim is true, what could be the reason?
   How about after getting a new set of bolt-ons, a woman is now getting more attention from all sorts of guys. Some of them appear to be better than what she currently has. So she jumps ship.
   Personally, I can do without implants. I like a bit of variety. Small ones? I’m good with that. Big ones? them too.

1. Right2thePoint Says:
   July 1st, 2008 at 10:37 am I keep thinking of all those boob jobs years down the line and my mind can’t escape the image of as a kid carrying a sock full of marbles to school for recess.

<li id="comment-76101" class=""> SteveH Says:
July 1st, 2008 at 7:15 am I think this whole phenomenon speaks to a people who foolishly think the hole in their souls can be corrected with physical image.
I suspect teenagers throughout time have suffered from this delusion. But 45 year olds doing it is uniquely the result of a prosperous societys lack of maturing adversity and sacrifice.

1. Amused Observer Says:
   July 1st, 2008 at 12:57 am LOL,
   It’s the conventional wisdom around these parts that that gals get a boob job on the way out and the corollary is no man that pays for a boobjob gets to enjoy it.

i am a firm believer in people should be who they are,..could i use a nip/tuck or some lypo...yes,..but i wont do it..just like i will never dye my hair to get rid of the grey

 

[Chillaxicator]

I totally get what you're all saying, and I really want to support her, I just feel so wrong about it all. It's probably my own insecurities I guess... worrying that she's doing it for more than just herself, cuz she knows it's not my area of focus... I just worry a lot. And she's built pretty much exactly like you, KLD... she's 5'7" and 120. She looks great though, and people compliment her CONSTANTLY... which would do a bit for my ego were I in her spot... but that's me, not her, she requires a lot more validation and attention than I do...

But you're right, I love her no matter what, and if it truly is going to make her feel better, then I guess it's worth the money. I still agree with Dana too though, in that pumping your body full of unnatural shit shouldn't be the only way to feel better about yourself...

Hence my being so torn...

 

[Chillaxicator]

not that my opinion means anything to anyone,..but here it is

don't do it..

1)the divorce rate of breast enhancement patients is higher

2) you may not be a breast man..but once you touch fake breasts...you will miss the old real ones (im not a "boob man" either..but i definitely prefer the feel of real over fake

3)psychologically it may be a self esteem issue,..but what happens when her new tits attract all the attention?, .or just more attention? is she going to just cover them up?..you just paid 6k for'em..and most patients like to show them off after wards..how will you feel when your wife's chest is ogled? ,..i dont know what your wife social life is like...but if you do this and she becomes more "socially active"..it can be a shock or overwhelming to a psyche (both hers and yours)

4)health risks...there is no guarantee that their will not be any problems. a simple Google search will show you what happens when things go wrong. if you have health insurance check to see if it goes up because of the enhancement

here are some other opinions:

i am a firm believer in people should be who they are,..could i use a nip/tuck or some lypo...yes,..but i wont do it..just like i will never dye my hair to get rid of the grey

I almost didn't see this post man, haha.

And I see all these points, they're all things I've had nightmares about for the past 3 months... it kills me sometimes to think of them changing her like that... and I fear that most of all... but on the other token, if I say no, or fight it, it's worse for me than just letting things transpire themselves... and in the end, if she pulls a bitch move and ditches out to go relive her youth, fuck her... I get my daughter.

 

[satinbutterfly]

Her body = her choice. Has nothing to do with you nor should it. Give your opinion if asked, but don't assume you have the right to tell her what to do.

 

[Taralynn]

Her body = her choice. Has nothing to do with you nor should it. Give your opinion if asked, but don't assume you have the right to tell her what to do.

I agree with this. Furthermore, I feel if any woman is having plastic surgery for somebody else, there is a big problem on the horizon. If she is doing it for herself (you mentioned she has always wanted to do so), it is something else.

Frankly, I don't know of any plastic surgeon that are going to slap on a couple of DD honkers on somebody who has a small bustline. Typically they make them a natural size for her frame. Has she discussed what SIZE she wanted? Does she just want them to be slightly larger or is she going for Anna Nicole?

Your support is very important on this matter and have you addressed your insecurities with her? If they are not addressed, situations could occur in the furture where this would blow up in your face and at least having addressed your fears now could be a starting point.

 

[Dana]

I don't want to sound like an asshole, BUT it may not be his decision or his choice and he may not have a say but if i was with a woman and i didn't want her getting implants and she did it anyways, one of our asses would be hitting the side walk and it would most likely be hers. This SHOULD be a decision to make together her body or not if you're in a relationship.

 

[KLD1019]

I totally get what you're all saying, and I really want to support her, I just feel so wrong about it all. It's probably my own insecurities I guess... worrying that she's doing it for more than just herself, cuz she knows it's not my area of focus... I just worry a lot. And she's built pretty much exactly like you, KLD... she's 5'7" and 120. She looks great though, and people compliment her CONSTANTLY... which would do a bit for my ego were I in her spot... but that's me, not her, she requires a lot more validation and attention than I do...

But you're right, I love her no matter what, and if it truly is going to make her feel better, then I guess it's worth the money. I still agree with Dana too though, in that pumping your body full of unnatural shit shouldn't be the only way to feel better about yourself...

Hence my being so torn...

i get your POV also. But think of it this way, there are lots of people who have your POV and dont care for big boobs and will find her extremely attractive. with or without the enhancement, guys (and maybe even women) will find her attractive!

and like her, i get compliments all the time about how good i look (especially since gaining the weight i have!) it does feel good to hear them, and it does boos the ego. Its just hard to explain when there is that one thing about yourself that you're not happy with despite people telling you you look just fine the way you are

 

[KLD1019]

I don't want to sound like an asshole, BUT it may not be his decision or his choice and he may not have a say but if i was with a woman and i didn't want her getting implants and she did it anyways, one of our asses would be hitting the side walk and it would most likely be hers. This SHOULD be a decision to make together her body or not if you're ion a relationship.

Hubby doesnt like my new bra that makes me bigger. he told me i need to stop wearing it. said its stupid, he thinks im doing it to attract more attention. I know what im doing it for, it makes ME feel good about myself. i'll be damned if anyone tries to control my life!

the day a man tells me what i can and cant do, just might be the last day he sees me. no man has any control about what i do with my body. i told him that real quick and made sure he knew that! havent heard a word since!

 

[Dana]

Hubby doesnt like my new bra that makes me bigger. he told me i need to stop wearing it. said its stupid, he thinks im doing it to attract more attention. I know what im doing it for, it makes ME feel good about myself. i'll be damned if anyone tries to control my life!

the day a man tells me what i can and cant do, just might be the last day he sees me. no man has any control about what i do with my body. im still with him, and i still do what i please!

theres a BIG difference between a bra and plastic surgery