Emotional Connection or Physical Attraction?

[lovenslowmotion]

I was wondering you're opinions/thoughts/feelings about the importance of physical attraction versus an emotional connection. While I know that physical attraction is important on some level (sometimes on ALL levels), could you completely write off someone that you had an extraordinary emotional connection with, but wasn't physically attracted to? Would that prohibit you in wanting to pursue a relationship with them?

I know that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder & honestly, I would rather connect with someone on an emotional/mental level than focus on whether or not they're hott. Some of the most attractive guys have been the most cockiest, self-absorbed, & the most shallow (Not all, some). Personally, I prefer intellectual conversation & connection more than concentrating on their physical appearance, but that's just me.

Which is the most important to you?

 

[Springsteen]

could you completely write off someone that you had an extraordinary emotional connection with, but wasn't physically attracted to? Would that prohibit you in wanting to pursue a relationship with them?

In a way but not for the reason you might think. I would prefer to have someone I can really talk to as a friend, a very good friend rather than a partner.

Sure talking is nice in a relationship but to me I would prefer to have a good time with a girlfriend and not be completely reliant on them all the time for a shoulder to cry on etc.

 

[satinbutterfly]

Emotional connection is where it's at for me and I think it also leads to physical attraction, even if the person isn't what most would consider good looking. I've dated guys who were model material that couldn't turn me on to save their soul and guys who were below average whom I couldn't get enough of simply because of the emotional attachement. So for me the emotional attachment really has to come first before the physical attraction.

 

[lovenslowmotion]

In a way but not for the reason you might think. I would prefer to have someone I can really talk to as a friend, a very good friend rather than a partner.

Sure talking is nice in a relationship but to me I would prefer to have a good time with a girlfriend and not be completely reliant on them all the time for a shoulder to cry on etc.

I actually understand your reasoning & I will tell you why. Guys most often in relationships do not like to bare their soul. Their focus is primarily on the relationship & not too heavily enthralled in the emotional. From my own personal experience, I've been with guys that completely withdrew when it came to their emotions & talking about their feelings. Guys just aren't good at that sort of thing as much as women are in relationships.

However, the ironic thing about that is, I've had some amazing conversations & connections form between myself & Men that were emotionally unavailable. While they could talk to me about anything & everything under the sun & felt a connection with me, they didn't want a relationship with me.

Emotional connection is where it's at for me and I think it also leads to physical attraction, even if the person isn't what most would consider good looking. I've dated guys who were model material that couldn't turn me on to save their soul and guys who were below average whom I couldn't get enough of simply because of the emotional attachement. So for me the emotional attachment really has to come first before the physical attraction.

I agree :thumbup.

 

[edgray]

for me the two go hand in hand. A simple physical attraction is pretty vacuous without an emotional connection behind it.

 

[Abcinthia]

I require both. I want someone physically attractive and who I have an emotional bond with.

I also want people who have either a similliar or higher intelligence and similliar interests to me. I value education and learning, and even though I've finished college I'm still pushing myself by reading history books and watching documentries and I want to be able to talk to my partner about it.

I once dated a guy and sure he was good looking and I did have feelings for him but I just could not talk about anything that interests me (like history or literature) becuase he didn't understand it or didn't care and it just made me bored to be with him.

 

[freakofnature]

For me the emotional connection comes first but I don't think I could have a long-term/permanent relationship with a guy I wasn't physically attracted to as well. That's not to say he has to be model material. In my wanderings through life I have found that often a guy that I am attracted to in other ways is a lot better looking to me than he otherwise would be (if that makes sense). There are certain things, though, that are a must when it comes to physical attraction. Things like height and hygiene.

 

[lovenslowmotion]

I require both. I want someone physically attractive and who I have an emotional bond with.

I also want people who have either a similliar or higher intelligence and similliar interests to me. I value education and learning, and even though I've finished college I'm still pushing myself by reading history books and watching documentries and I want to be able to talk to my partner about it.

I once dated a guy and sure he was good looking and I did have feelings for him but I just could not talk about anything that interests me (like history or literature) becuase he didn't understand it or didn't care and it just made me bored to be with him.

The above is the most important to me. I, too have completed college & want someone that is on or past my intellectual level. I want to be with someone that I can learn something from & vise versa. I find it frustrating when I have to drop a few levels in smarts to have a decent conversation with someone of the opposite sex. Generally though, there are times where I can look past it. There are some really intelligent guys that I've had the pleasure of meeting that have not yet completed college, but can still hold a decent conversation. It just depends on the person, so I definitely understand where you're coming from & can relate.

For me the emotional connection comes first but I don't think I could have a long-term/permanent relationship with a guy I wasn't physically attracted to as well. That's not to say he has to be model material. In my wanderings through life I have found that often a guy that I am attracted to in other ways is a lot better looking to me than he otherwise would be (if that makes sense). There are certain things, though, that are a must when it comes to physical attraction. Things like height and hygiene.

Hygiene is definitely important! It's definitely a must that if I am going to connect with someone emotionally & have in depth conversations with, that they know the importance of water + soap .

 

[Abcinthia]

The above is the most important to me. I, too have completed college & want someone that is on or past my intellectual level. I want to be with someone that I can learn something from & vise versa. I find it frustrating when I have to drop a few levels in smarts to have a decent conversation with someone of the opposite sex. Generally though, there are times where I can look past it. There are some really intelligent guys that I've had the pleasure of meeting that have not yet completed college, but can still hold a decent conversation. It just depends on the person, so I definitely understand where you're coming from & can relate.



Hygiene is definitely important! It's definitely a must that if I am going to connect with someone emotionally & have in depth conversations with, that they know the importance of water + soap .

Yes I like talking to Zorak becuase he is interested in science, which I'm not that great at (I'll admit, it's my weak area) and he likes different history periods to me. And even though we have different interests, I'm still interested and learn from him and I feel he is somewhat interested in what I have to say.

 

[lovenslowmotion]

Yes I like talking to Zorak becuase he is interested in science, which I'm not that great at (I'll admit, it's my weak area) and he likes different history periods to me. And even though we have different interests, I'm still interested and learn from him and I feel he is somewhat interested in what I have to say.

I hope I find that kind of connection one day, the one that lasts. You're lucky .

 

[TheTinGirl]

I've found that when I have an emotional connection to someone, the physical attraction flares up.
My boyfriend and I have talked numerous times about how we are not each other's physical type... but we got to hangin out, got to know each other and can't keep our hands off each other. XD

So the fluffy gothy girl and the number crunching intellectual are working in harmony.

 

[Abcinthia]

I hope I find that kind of connection one day, the one that lasts. You're lucky .

Thanks I'm sure you'll find someone, they appear in the least expected places lol.

 

[lovenslowmotion]

I've found that when I have an emotional connection to someone, the physical attraction flares up.
My boyfriend and I have talked numerous times about how we are not each other's physical type... but we got to hangin out, got to know each other and can't keep our hands off each other. XD

So the fluffy gothy girl and the number crunching intellectual are working in harmony.

What were yours & his physical type(s) prior to the relationship?

Personally, I think in the long-run a person can start to grow on you. While they aren't someone you can see yourself with in the beginning, I think as time goes on, you can start to see things in that person that you like & can fall in love with. I think that's the sweetest kind of love, ever.

 

[TheTinGirl]

What were yours & his physical type(s) prior to the relationship?

Personally, I think in the long-run a person can start to grow on you. While they aren't someone you can see yourself with in the beginning, I think as time goes on, you can start to see things in that person that you like & can fall in love with. I think that's the sweetest kind of love, ever.

Bwahaha...this will be fun.

I usually date long haired tortured artists, who listen to music that screams at you and you know- usually lives with mum and dad.

He liked skinny athletic short types...though honestly I haven't found one redeeming quality about the exes he's told me about... poor boy's been through hell with women.

So yah I'm fluffy (fat), 5'11", kinda lazy music nerd...who until now has never taken financial obligations seriously, and always has some form of black on (usually all black.)
He shaves his head, makes spread sheets for our finances, and enjoys doing the things that cause me to have a panic attack... (Finding household items, spending large sums of money on car repairs and making the budget for grocery shopping...) and wears things like brown shorts and sports tshirts.

And I love him to death and would do anything for him.
So at least in my case, intense physical attraction at first meeting is not a requirement.
Now that I know him I realize how beautiful his facial features are, how strong his arms are and how much I love laying on his chest...

I am mushy about him. xD

 

[lovenslowmotion]

Bwahaha...this will be fun.

I usually date long haired tortured artists, who listen to music that screams at you and you know- usually lives with mum and dad.

He liked skinny athletic short types...though honestly I haven't found one redeeming quality about the exes he's told me about... poor boy's been through hell with women.

So yah I'm fluffy (fat), 5'11", kinda lazy music nerd...who until now has never taken financial obligations seriously, and always has some form of black on (usually all black.)
He shaves his head, makes spread sheets for our finances, and enjoys doing the things that cause me to have a panic attack... (Finding household items, spending large sums of money on car repairs and making the budget for grocery shopping...) and wears things like brown shorts and sports tshirts.

And I love him to death and would do anything for him.
So at least in my case, intense physical attraction at first meeting is not a requirement.
Now that I know him I realize how beautiful his facial features are, how strong his arms are and how much I love laying on his chest...

I am mushy about him. xD

Wow, reading that actually gives me hope that I will find someone that will appreciate my fluffyness as well haha. I'm not skinny either, I have my curves, but they are curves I'm proud of. I'm also 4'10 :eek. Ideally, I'd like a guy that is fluffy too. It's always been my preference. I am happy that you have found someone that accepts you for who you are & loves you regardless. That's rare nowadays. Kudos to you for finding it

 

[Thornless]

I gotta have both

 

[KimmyCharmeleon]

I say both as well. Having both would probably give the most rewarding and satisfying relationship.

 

[I Like Needles]

I would say emotional attraction. I once thought this kid was somewhat ugly, once I got to know them, and were their bestfriend for almost a year I went out with them, it's like...they became more goodlooking as each day passed by.

It's was very weird, I'm still with them, and I'm super attracted to them.

 

[freakofnature]

I would say emotional attraction. I once thought this kid was somewhat ugly, once I got to know them, and were their bestfriend for almost a year I went out with them, it's like...they became more goodlooking as each day passed by.

It's was very weird, I'm still with them, and I'm super attracted to them.

Multiple personalities? Siamese twins? :unsure:

 

[KimmyCharmeleon]

I went out with them, it's like...they became more goodlooking as each day passed by.

Do you think that is love?