My boyfriend actually just sent this to me. I still cannot stop laughing!
A Redneck Valentine
Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you
Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze
Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass, which excites me in May
You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway
Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can
You have som'a yore teeth, for which I am proud
I hold my head high when we're in a crowd
On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms
Well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms
Still them fellers at work, they all want to know
What I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe
Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there fer yore man
To patch up life's troubles and fix what you can
Yo're as cute as a junebug jist a-buzzin' overhead
You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed
Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt
You spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt
When you hold me real tight like a padded gun rack
My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack
Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'
Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'
Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank
We go together like a skunk goes with stank
Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day
They git it at Wal-Mart, it's more romantic that way
Some men git roses on that special day
From the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive," I say
Some men buy diamonds from a flea market booth
"Diamonds are forever," they explain,with some suave and some couth
But for this man, honey, these just won't do
Cause yo're too special, you sweet lil' thang you
I got you a gift, without no taste or odor
More useful than diamonds... IT'S A NEW TROLLIN' MOTOR!!
A Redneck Valentine
Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you
Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze
Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass, which excites me in May
You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway
Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can
You have som'a yore teeth, for which I am proud
I hold my head high when we're in a crowd
On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms
Well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms
Still them fellers at work, they all want to know
What I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe
Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there fer yore man
To patch up life's troubles and fix what you can
Yo're as cute as a junebug jist a-buzzin' overhead
You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed
Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt
You spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt
When you hold me real tight like a padded gun rack
My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack
Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'
Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'
Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank
We go together like a skunk goes with stank
Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day
They git it at Wal-Mart, it's more romantic that way
Some men git roses on that special day
From the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive," I say
Some men buy diamonds from a flea market booth
"Diamonds are forever," they explain,with some suave and some couth
But for this man, honey, these just won't do
Cause yo're too special, you sweet lil' thang you
I got you a gift, without no taste or odor
More useful than diamonds... IT'S A NEW TROLLIN' MOTOR!!
