Cussing at Work

[JanieDough]

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

​

 

[JanieDough]

TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training..
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.

TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?


​

 

[JanieDough]

TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues...
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank You,​

Human Resources

 

[Codrus]

gees, i just had a meeting about this yesterday, my "attitude" and my "dealings with co-workers".

i was basically told to take more than a moment and think of what corporate would want me to say, and how they would want me to say it along with "try to rephrase your e-mails so they appear more profesional".......to which my response was
this is fucking retarded, but if you want me to be more pc and butter people up just so they can feel better about being stupid, then i guess i will have to give this bullshit a try.

i say somthing "my way" and it gets done as opposed to having to say it multiple times "nicely" and it still isnt done right

 

[JanieDough]

some one at my office is eating the food out of the fridge - like leftovers.

this some one will go into a container and eat some one's half eaten burger

so we had to post a sign, and the girl who did it asked me if i could think of a polite way to say "Please don't eat other people's food."

I said "Fuck that, if they eat other people's food we don't have to be polite."

 

[Codrus]

some one at my office is eating the food out of the fridge - like leftovers.

this some one will go into a container and eat some one's half eaten burger

so we had to post a sign, and the girl who did it asked me if i could think of a polite way to say "Please don't eat other people's food."

I said "Fuck that, if they eat other people's food we don't have to be polite."

im with ya janie, but in this world of overly sensitive everyones a winner pc idiots...we have to be .....nice ....eww

 

[Tyler Durden]

Lol, funny stuff.

You can get away with a few at my work, but if you do it a lot it becomes an issue!

 

[RedRyder]

Funny stuff!