Rule One) If you say you'll call me and don't, it can only be because you lost my phone number. Next time I run into you, I will have it tattooed onto your forhead, I'll include the area code.
Rule Two) If you show up more then 30 minutes late for a date, bring flowers. If you show up more then an hour, bring chocolates, If you show up two hours late, bring a date because your not going out with me.
Rule Three) You will compliment my shoes, my toes feel like they are caught in a mousetrap and are evolving thier own tear ducts so they can cry by themselves. I spent 45 minutes emptying everything I own in my closet onto my bed, just so I could select this outfit. you come straight over after playing basketball with your friends and smell like the locker room at the sports arena. If you dont at least mention my shoes, I will press my heel down on your foot and then you Will notice them.
Rule Four) I assume the reason you are staring at that attractive woman across the resturant is that you think you reconize her from America's Most Wanted. Either pay attention to me or go over and make a citizen's arrest.
Rule Five) Going to your place to "hang out" does not constitute a date. Though I do appreciate being offered the opprotuity to view your extensive pizza-box collection. and your mastery of the remote control is very impressive. I'd like to stay but I'm afraid that whatever has died in your laundry hamper is making me Ill. Why don't you E-mail me when the game is over? in fact, e-mail is probably the best way for us to stay in touch from now on.
Rule Six) I find it od that you are going on and on about how you are not ready for a serious relationship with just one person when you are so obviously are in love with yourself.
Rule Seven) How wonderful that you have a picture of your ex -girlfriend in you wallet to show people what a pretty woman you used to date. Thank you for sharing. I'll give you a picture of me for the same purpose.
Rule Eight) It really isn't necessary for you to tell me you don't want to have children. We won't be doing anything that might cause them.
written by Bruce Cameron
Rule Two) If you show up more then 30 minutes late for a date, bring flowers. If you show up more then an hour, bring chocolates, If you show up two hours late, bring a date because your not going out with me.
Rule Three) You will compliment my shoes, my toes feel like they are caught in a mousetrap and are evolving thier own tear ducts so they can cry by themselves. I spent 45 minutes emptying everything I own in my closet onto my bed, just so I could select this outfit. you come straight over after playing basketball with your friends and smell like the locker room at the sports arena. If you dont at least mention my shoes, I will press my heel down on your foot and then you Will notice them.
Rule Four) I assume the reason you are staring at that attractive woman across the resturant is that you think you reconize her from America's Most Wanted. Either pay attention to me or go over and make a citizen's arrest.
Rule Five) Going to your place to "hang out" does not constitute a date. Though I do appreciate being offered the opprotuity to view your extensive pizza-box collection. and your mastery of the remote control is very impressive. I'd like to stay but I'm afraid that whatever has died in your laundry hamper is making me Ill. Why don't you E-mail me when the game is over? in fact, e-mail is probably the best way for us to stay in touch from now on.
Rule Six) I find it od that you are going on and on about how you are not ready for a serious relationship with just one person when you are so obviously are in love with yourself.
Rule Seven) How wonderful that you have a picture of your ex -girlfriend in you wallet to show people what a pretty woman you used to date. Thank you for sharing. I'll give you a picture of me for the same purpose.
Rule Eight) It really isn't necessary for you to tell me you don't want to have children. We won't be doing anything that might cause them.
written by Bruce Cameron
