WIFE FROM HELL
> ??
>
>
>
> A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer
> says,'
> I clocked you
> at 80 miles per hour, sir.'
>
> The driver
> says, 'Gee, officer,
> I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs
> calibrating. '
>
> Not
> looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be
> silly, dear -- you know that this
> car doesn't have cruise control.'
>
>
> As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife
> and growls,
> 'Can't
> you please keep your mouth shut for once !!
> ?'
>
> The wife
> smiles demurely and says, 'Well
> dear you should be thankful your
> radardetector went off when it did or your speed would have been
> higher.'
>
> As the
> officer makes out the second
> ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man
> glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
> 'Woman,
> can't you keep your mouth shut?'
>
>
> The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice
> that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir.
> That's an automatic $75
> fine.'
>
> The driver
> says, 'Yeah, well,
> you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that
> I could get my license out of my back pocket.'
>
> The wife
> says, 'Now,
> dear, you know very well that you
> didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're
> driving.'
>
> And as the
> police officer is writing out the third
> ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks,
> 'WILL
> YOU
> PLEASE SHUT UP??'
>
> The officer
> looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your
> husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'
>
>
> (I love this part)
>
>
> 'Only
> when he's been drinking.!!
> ??
>
>
>
> A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer
> says,'
> I clocked you
> at 80 miles per hour, sir.'
>
> The driver
> says, 'Gee, officer,
> I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs
> calibrating. '
>
> Not
> looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be
> silly, dear -- you know that this
> car doesn't have cruise control.'
>
>
> As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife
> and growls,
> 'Can't
> you please keep your mouth shut for once !!
> ?'
>
> The wife
> smiles demurely and says, 'Well
> dear you should be thankful your
> radardetector went off when it did or your speed would have been
> higher.'
>
> As the
> officer makes out the second
> ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man
> glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
> 'Woman,
> can't you keep your mouth shut?'
>
>
> The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice
> that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir.
> That's an automatic $75
> fine.'
>
> The driver
> says, 'Yeah, well,
> you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that
> I could get my license out of my back pocket.'
>
> The wife
> says, 'Now,
> dear, you know very well that you
> didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're
> driving.'
>
> And as the
> police officer is writing out the third
> ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks,
> 'WILL
> YOU
> PLEASE SHUT UP??'
>
> The officer
> looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your
> husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'
>
>
> (I love this part)
>
>
> 'Only
> when he's been drinking.!!
