Why Do We Fall For People Who Have The Same Qualities Like Our Exes?

[Lizbeth19ph]

They say it will be a vicious cycle if you keep on falling for the same wrong people, meaning people who have the same qualities like your exes and you should have known that falling for them won't do you good. (those exes who have this "bad boy/girl" reputations but you fall for them anyway. Why do you think we fall for people who have the same qualities like our exes whom we dump or have dumped us?

 

[Josie]

I don't think we do.. I think we keep falling for what we feel we deserve at the time.

 

[trishgl]

It's not a case of falling for people similar to our exes. We in fact already have a particular "profile" we subconsciously look for in a guy. So of course they will be similar to each other as we basically have the same template. Unfortunately for some people the type of guy they subconsciously seek out isn't prince charming. I have a friend who keeps falling for guys who are married and when they've had her discard her. This happens over and over and you wonder why she can't ever see the flashing red warning lights.

 

[Joe the meek]

I don't think out of all of the women I've had a serious relationship with, none were really like each other.

 

[Pierre Eustache]

When we are looking for a partner, we set a lot of criteria. Perhaps we define them as long as we discover them from our past heart friends. Then, we are looking for those qualities because it is what attract us! It is not really because of your exes; it is about what attract you for real! Just make sure you control them to make your choice with reason over passion!

 

[J3NN4]

I think the majority of people are interested in a certain type of person. We all have qualities we look for in a partner, subconsciously or not.

In my experience, I go for men who share the same hobbies I do. Since certain things attract a certain type of person, you could find yourself in a relationship with someone who might not be ideal for you, even if they have some of the qualities you're looking for.

 

[Stardom22]

It comes automatically for me. All the girls I fell in love with were teachers by profession for instance.

 

[cherry123]

When we've been in a relationship with someone, even if it ended poorly, we become accustomed to certain personality traits and behaviors, making us more likely to find those same traits attractive in future partners.

 

[Urvashi]

It’s often because we’re subconsciously drawn to what feels familiar. People tend to find comfort in traits or dynamics that were present in past relationships, even if they weren't ideal. It’s a mix of emotional familiarity and a desire for connection.

 

[cherry123]

Sometimes it is just what we like because one may choose from similar social circles or are simply more comfortable with familiarity.

 

[monaco66]

That doesn't happen to me, I only see that I fall in love with people who are better than my exes, although they have some similar qualities, they don't have exactly the same qualities, so in my case, what you're asking about doesn't happen to me at all.

 

[Nomad]

I think this is more of a generalization. I believe more people would be less interested in falling into relationship with an individual who resembled their ex and they were hurt by their exes.