Mrs Behavin
Well-Known Member
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must
first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes
after
the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road.
What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not
taking
on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
OPRAH:
Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is
why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the
chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of
life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just
drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the
chickens.
GEORGE W BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just
want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.
The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle
ground here.
DONALD RUMSFELD:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite
image of the chicken crossing the road.
ANDERSON COOPER/CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet
been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against it.
JUDGE JUDY:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it
in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I
had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when
the price dropped to a certain leveL. No little bird gave me any
insider information.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes,
the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been
told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth
in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side."
That's why they call it the "other side. Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay
too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly
harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be
free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that!
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to
the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of
how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2005, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your check book. Internet explorer is an integral part of
eChicken. The Platform is much more stable and will never
cra...#@&&^( C \..... reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your
definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must
first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes
after
the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road.
What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not
taking
on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
OPRAH:
Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is
why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the
chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of
life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just
drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the
chickens.
GEORGE W BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just
want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.
The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle
ground here.
DONALD RUMSFELD:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite
image of the chicken crossing the road.
ANDERSON COOPER/CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet
been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against it.
JUDGE JUDY:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it
in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I
had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when
the price dropped to a certain leveL. No little bird gave me any
insider information.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes,
the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been
told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth
in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side."
That's why they call it the "other side. Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay
too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly
harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be
free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that!
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to
the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of
how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2005, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your check book. Internet explorer is an integral part of
eChicken. The Platform is much more stable and will never
cra...#@&&^( C \..... reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your
definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
