Well, I'm not sure what this means, exactly...

[andcuriouser]

Talking to my psychiatrist recently, we went over a whole bunch of small behaviors that have recently become more noticeable. Things like counting steps, rinsing my plate between every separate food, cancelling thoughts, symmetry... sound like something familiar?

Apparently having one anxiety disorder doesn't mean you can't have two. Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

I honestly have the best luck in the world.

It's very appropriate that they're called "disorders". I don't feel like anything is in order right now at all. This fucking sucks.

 

[Darkstar]

what is cancelling thoughts?

 

[Bagel]

its contradicting yourself in your head.. liek if you have a bad thought you have to think of somethign good to make yourself feel better

huggles lel

 

[andcuriouser]

Say you think of something bad: you see a dog and imagine him getting hit by a car crossing the street. Immediately you have to think of something good to "cancel" out the bad thought: the dog crosses the street safely and is taken in by a loving family.

 

[Jersey]

i'd like the answer to that too... unless i've heard it called something different...

i dont have full blown OCD.. but i do have compulsions... about ridiculous things... it will run your life if you let it... the behavior therapy they may recommend seems stupid to some, but it works... i only have a few that i cant let go of...

like every night when i'm finally tucked in to bed.. i have to get out and check all the lights, doors and burners... then get back in and turn off and on my alarm 3 times...

 

[Jersey]

ok... i've heard it referred to as contracting or bargaining...

and i do it too... i'll be driving and picture myself getting into a bad car accident (again) and then have to think of how many "good days" i have made it to work safely

 

[andcuriouser]

Matt was the one who said I finally had to say something about it. It would take me so much longer to eat, because I'd put my salad on my plate, eat it, and then go into the kitchen and rinse the plate. Not just a cursory little rinse, but actually scrub it, and then dry it, and then go back to the table and put JUST the potatos on my plate, eat that, rinse it, and so on for the entire meal. He got annoyed waiting for me to finish eating.

It's exactly fifty steps between this computer and my bedroom, and if I accidentally take 51 or 49 I have to backtrack to "erase" the step, or take an extra one to the side so that it's exactly 50.

I get really uncomfortable if things around me aren't symmetrical or in a particular order (one look at my CD wall will tell you that; 300 CDs alphabetized by artist, and then chronological by album). If I have an extreme sensation on one side of my body (like a squeeze or a slap), I get uncomfortable unless it's repeated on the other side.

It's just silly things like that that alone would be "quirks" but together make it really complicated and difficult to do simple things. I would love to eat a meal without feeling the heebie jeebies and somehow thinking the world will end if my potatoes touch the veggies.

 

[Jersey]

oh man lel, i feel for you... alot of kids i've worked with have had severe OCD and it's been my job to fix it... hard to do when i have some qualities of the same nature.. don't laugh but have you ever tried those paper plates that have the separators into 3 different sections? That's one of the steps I've used with the kids who had aversions to food touching... just a quick thought... but eventually, once they are used to the sectioned plate, we would put the food on a regular plate, further apart, and move it closer untiol it finally touches... i'm not saying its an overnight type deal, it'll take a while-- but try it?

 

[Peter Parka]

That sucks, I hope you can get it under control. I get things like I'm always worrying that I've forgot to lock the door when I'm out but nothing like that.

 

[alleycat]

I used to have that really bad Le. I got on Paxil and that has helped a bit. I also got myself in a more stable, healthy life. At the time, when I was doing most of this stuff, I was really depressed and way stressed out. The stress manifested itself in rituals and really strange things. If you want anyone to talk to about it, I am always here. Love ya Le.

 

[White2000GT]

I remember having two OCD's when I was a kid, but luckily they didn't last long. The first one was I hated having someone see me walking. Like, I thought I looked stupid when I walked, so it would be to the point where it was painful if I had to get up in class and walk to the blackboard to do a problem or something like that. I hated having people walk behind me too. The other one was when I walked on a sidewalk I would go out of my way to avoid stepping on the cracks. You know, the whole 'step on a crack, break your momma's back' thing? Well, I didn't want to break my momma's back. Haha!
Luckily I got over those though.

 

[Dodge_Sniper]

Say you think of something bad: you see a dog and imagine him getting hit by a car crossing the street. Immediately you have to think of something good to "cancel" out the bad thought: the dog crosses the street safely and is taken in by a loving family.

Uhm, isn't that usually a normal thing? I do that all the time. If I watch TV and see something I don't like I think happy thoughts.

 

[Nightflight]

That's harsh, but there's always a way around the mountain. I always tell people if a problem's become a huge amount that you can't see how to attack, it's big enough to cut into bite-size chunks. Wish I could follow my own advice though...

After seeing my mom die and going cold turkey from 15 year's hard drugging last year, I ended up with almost all the symptoms of PTSD (my sister's a shrink so I asked her advice) and only now is it all starting, slowly, to normalise. Finally I sleep more than 2-3 hrs a night too, Yay! No medications for me, I got harsh so I'd never go through it again.

We're tough creatures by nature, we can get through anything. What goes down....must come up.