We attract what we are

[GraceAbounds]

Ever heard the saying 'you attract what you are'? If so, how true do you think that is? As you look back on your life and see the growth you've gone through, how did the people change around you as your changed? Ever notice this sort of stuff in your life?:confused

 

[Tim]

I've heard that opposites attract, but never You attract what you are.

I don't know about either one actually. There are quite a few women that get into abusive relationships that don't abuse others, the whole cycle of abuse. It seems that there are quite a few threads about you girls attracting assholes. :dunno
I'm a very articulate and detail oriented person, yet those aren't Alicia's strong points. She is very intelligent, so we have that in common. We have differing views on religion... so based on my current situation, I say no.

and before anyone points it out... yeah, I have very strong political views that I express here... but only here. Outside of the site, I don't talk politics or religion with anyone... no one to argue with I guess. Maybe that's why I am so passionate here when it comes to debate... I just don't get it in real life.

 

[Peter Parka]

Thinking about it, me and my missus are vastly different. Our religious views are on the complete opposite end of the scales from each other, I'm into politics while she just stays out of it and dosen't even vote. She likes clutter and complication, I like things to be simple, I'm good with money, she's crap with it, she's very creative and unpractical while I'm completely uncreative and very practical. I think it works though as we both have out distinctive roles to play in the relationship where as if we were very similar we'd both be battling to do the same thing while neglecting others. It all works as well because despite our differences we have very similar tastes when it comes to recreation, food, style ect.

 

[Veronica]

I hope thats not the case, because if so.. then I am selfish, a liar and a cheater.... I dont like that idea. But of course that person wasnt the one for me.

I think with soul mates *(if you believe in that), then that other person is like you.

Hell, I dunno. I suck at debates

 

[Suzie]

Hmm... John and I are pretty different. Hes smart, Im as dumb as they come. He doesnt let anything or anyone bother him... I soak things up and dwell on it. (Im trying to have him give me some of the "not caring" part of him though.)

His religious views rubbed off on me though. And I think some of my stuff rubbed off on him as well. When we first met, he used to let people walk all over him... I wanna believe I toughened the boy up.

 

[GraceAbounds]

Ever heard the saying 'you attract what you are'? If so, how true do you think that is? As you look back on your life and see the growth you've gone through, how did the people change around you as your changed? Ever notice this sort of stuff in your life?:confused

What made us who we are is our background. Your roots. Do you attract what you are? Some people repeat the cycle, which is why child abuse is past from parent to child for example. Others break cycles, grow, and go on to different stages in life, in which case you'll find that you start attracting different or now the same type of people. If we were abused, we more than likely can tell that someone else was as well. We can help each other or we can hurt each other. I don't know if that helps to explain what I am saying any better.

But from the answers given, I can tell that my first attempt at explaining what I was getting at did not quite hit the mark. lol

 

[Suzie]

I wasnt sure if we were getting at what you were talking about.
That helped me understand more.
I think I am keeping the cycle (which is a good thing)... my family was always close. (Hense the moving 700 miles away from NJ and my parents being my neighbors now!) Im trying to teach my boys that family is the most important thing in life, as my parents taught me. Anyway... I think thats probably more of what you were talking about Grace. :confused

 

[GraceAbounds]

Yes Suzie and apologies to all for me not explaining well.

So Suzie do you find that your husband or your friends share some of the same background experiences that make you who you are? Do you and your hubby share a lot of the same values as far as physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, planetary, etc.? What about your friends?

When I started focusing on changing the physical cycle of my life and I quit smoking, I noticed that my friendships changed. I have very few friends that smoke anymore. I didn't leave my smoking friends, they left me. It happened so gradually I didn't even realize it happened. (just another example)

 

[Suzie]

As far as the physical backgrounds... neither of us smoke. I like to drink occasionally...he never really does. Intellectually... no, Im dumb...and hes smart! Hense the reason why I didnt understand your post to begin with! He can argue with anyone...and win everytime. I cant debate for the life of me. haha
A few of my friends havnt grown up yet...and lead a totally different life then I do. So... its hard to hang out with people that you dont really have any of the same interests. I also think that the reason why its hard to hang out is cuz of their reasoning like you said. They kinda left me...
Does that make more sense?

 

[icecuban]

I have heard this, and now that i think about it, its kind of true, for myself. But its more like, I attract what I need at the time, which is someone who i slightly despise, but share the same quality deep down inside, and hate that ,part of myself as well. maybe i thought that by being with them, we could change together, but i wouldnt be able to deal with either,lol.
Then I thought, "Be even more compationate, even more loving, no matter what", and what happens, love comes to my door. Since then, its like, no matter how rude or nasty something is, when i see it, i can see whats good and happy, and there they are, and there i am.

 

[GraceAbounds]

I can relate icecuban.

 

[possum]

Ok, in boots and all!!!

I believe you look for closure when attracting friends and partners, if you have a flaw that annoys you, you tend to look for someone who has overcome that flaw, so I would say, in my experience, you are attracted to people who compliment who and what you are, so as a team, you have more bases covered. I know I admire and seek people who have attributes I wish I had. Does that make sense?