Ugh, seriously!?

[KLD1019]

MIL sent me a message asking who Jace's teacher was. i told her and asked why. she said she wanted to know when they were doing the Thanksgiving lunch. i told her its thursday, but they already sent home the RSVP paper last week, and i already RSVP'd with one (me) going. she said she already called the school and they told her it was ok for her to go.

um NO, its not! he's MY son, this is his 1st year in school, let me indulge in this! she's already had her experiences with her 3 kids, let me have mine! next year, yeah she can go. this year, his 1st year, no! i mean, you could have asked me if i was OK with it first!

She almost did the same thing the 1st day of school, wanted to be there, but she at least asked first. she got a 'no' for an answer. i mean, gah woman!

 

[porterjack]

school is wrong for saying ok without your consent
MILs are nothting but trouble

 

[Panacea]

I mean, it's nice she wants to be involved, and maybe it's not a big deal to her if she tags along, but going behind your back is SO incredibly rude and undermining. Not looking forward to MIL hell.

 

[darkcgi]

yep school wrong
you'd better say something now before its too late
i had a mother inlaw do that stuff and i didnt say anything
big mistake
i could freakin strangle her now hate her guts

 

[KLD1019]

yeah, if i wanted her to be there, i would have asked when i got the RSVP letter!

 

[porterjack]

you need to declare war

go on facebook and publically trash this woman

get mean

 

[darkcgi]

why didnt she just ask you
that shows she will be in your way
i found out my ex mother in law saw saying bad things (lies) about me to my 5 year old son
she claims to be all christian and shit
what a hippocrite
well part of the reason i dont have my son and am not married that woman anymore is because of her family being like that
the other is she was like that too in the long run
my son thinks im the best dad in the world
and i get him several times a month and anytime she wants to go party and not be with him
all the better for me
he says she is boring and doesnt do anything except lay on the couch and watch movies he cannot watch

 

[darkcgi]

i never say anything bad about her or her family to him or in front of him

 

[Darrell]

Your MIL is WAY out of bounds with this one.

 

[AstriaPorta]

have to agree with everyone else .. just go and tell her how you feel and that day is for you .. it will make trouble but that is your day

 

[Tim]

Never apologize for being selfish with your children. I have had to lay the law down on several occasions with my MIL when it comes to the kids. They get plenty of time to spend with her, but PARENTS ALWAYS COME FIRST! They get the sloppy seconds.

 

[KLD1019]

its funny though. when he was born, she was ALL about being with him, spending time with him, constantly asking to keep him (even if we werent doing anything). so, he grew up knowing and being use to that. 3 years ago, she divorced her then husband. after that, NOTHING! wanted NOTHING to do with him. made excuses, never called, sometimes not answering the phone in fear of asking her to watch him (it wasnt an ALL THE TIME her watching him, i mean, he has 6 sets of grandparents)

 

[porterjack]

six sets of grandparents

lucky kid

 

[AUFred]

Funny you should mention this. My In-laws never got involved at school functions unless invited. They were at almost every competition my kids participated in to show their support. My Father-In-Law even almost got ejected from a soccer match for riding the ref. My mom on the other hand rarely attended anything my children were involved with even when she had nothing else going on. Now my children are very close to their grandparents who were a part of their lives but have little to do with my mother. Shame really. She doesn't seem to get it.

In your case I agree first year is all about Momma & Dad being a part of the child's life and not the grandparents time to horn in. The school my wife works at actually has a grandparents day once a semester.

 

[KLD1019]

Funny you should mention this. My In-laws never got involved at school functions unless invited. They were at almost every competition my kids participated in to show their support. My Father-In-Law even almost got ejected from a soccer match for riding the ref. My mom on the other hand rarely attended anything my children were involved with even when she had nothing else going on. Now my children are very close to their grandparents who were a part of their lives but have little to do with my mother. Shame really. She doesn't seem to get it.

In your case I agree first year is all about Momma & Dad being a part of the child's life and not the grandparents time to horn in. The school my wife works at actually has a grandparents day once a semester.

see, they had one (well, it was called "family night") during the scholastic book fair last month. i remember her asking about it and telling her to let her know when it was. when it came up, i let her know what night it was, what time (6pm-8pm) and was going to let her take him. it came, she never took him!

 

[hart]

I also am with majority, u r the parent you get first dibs!

 

[Thornless]

I am surprized the school said she could go... does that mean possible pedaphiles can just call and ask to come in for funtions? WTF... I would be shitting down the schools throat.

Unless they are on the safe list for pick up, they shouldn't be allowing anyone into the school who isn't a student. Amara's school, they won't allow anyone to pick up the kids without the parents saying so, and no one in the classroom with same permission.

 

[Natasha]

I don't have kids so maybe I'm just clueless...but what exactly is bad about a grandparent wanting to spend time w/ their grandchild??? I mean, it's not like it's some kind of super special occassion, right??? I agree she overstepped her boundaries by calling the school before talking to you, but I don't see the big deal w/ her wanting to be there for something like that.

 

[Tim]

Maybe this can help you understand Natasha.

Let's say that you have found the perfect boyfriend and you have fallen in love with this man more than anything you have ever experienced. (I can't explain the love of your children any other way)
Now imagine you want to be with this person every second of the day. \
Now imagine your "firsts" like your first kiss, first time you go out to a fancy restaurant, first time you go to the beach, etc.
Now imagine that these firsts are the very first time your boyfriend has ever experienced them, like he has never seen the ocean before, he has never been kissed, etc.

Would you want to be selfish on some of these firsts with your boyfriend and want to be alone with him? Or would you mind if his mother came along on a regular basis?

It's very hard to explain, but your child is experiencing the world through your eyes, you are the one that shows him the world around him. You introduce him to new things everyday and it's a very special moment when a parent and a child do these things together. There are many times when other family is involved and even when something sounds completely trivial, there are times when a parent has the right to be selfish and share these firsts with their children alone.

 

[anathelia]

This is why I hope to be far away from grandparents when Abbey starts school. Troy's mom already crosses boundaries that drive me crazy and she's only 2.