The hatred of office stuff thread

E

Elle

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All sorts of shit irks me at the office. And I know I'm not alone! Here are some.

1.The hour between 11:30AM & 12:30PM is the time when the kitchen turns evil. The constant microwave beep, door slamming, etc. The mindless, LOUD banter. Then you get the aromas of leftover beef stew mixed with someone's cabbage and beef

2. Look, if I have to go poop, I don't want company. It always happens that 289 people come storming into the bathroom, as if I put out a "Juli's going to take a poop @ 1:45PM" memo.

3. Retards that stand right near my door and talk about how they can't believe that Barry quit and fundamentals of their departments slow demise. I don't give a shit about Barry, or your TPS reports, take your conversation to lunch and away from my door.

4. People who bring in 7 course meals in big ass containers, along with 45 bottles of water that take up the whole fridge. And all you want to do is put your leftover stir fy in a 5" x 5" space. But noooooooooo, Mr./Ms. obesity has left no room!

Those are just a few, of course. :D

Discuss. :cool
 
1. People that barge into my cubicle. Look, its not an office, it does not have a door, but show some respect. I'm about to just put up a trip wire.

2. People that bring in their own radio, put it right next to my cubicle wall and blare music I don't like. On top of that, they don't get a good signal and I'm left listening to what sounds like water buffalos taking distorted shits on the other side of my wall.

3. People that do not follow proper bathroom etiquette or man law. If there are more urinals, don't pick the one right next to me. Courtesy flush you nasty bastard. Keep that shit out of the building and wash your fucking hands. And don't ever, EVER try to introduce yourself and shake my hand in the fucking bathroom. I just smelled your ass cause you couldn't courtesy flush, I don't want to shake your hand that you "sprinkled" with water and dubbed clean. Comprende?

4. People that find you on your lunch break and want to talk your fucking head off. Look dood. I got 30 minutes to order this shit, get to my desk and eat it. I don't want to sit here and talk about Billy Joel for 20 minutes buddy. I don't even like Billy Joel.

5. Last but not least. Someone that tries to pawn their job off on you so they can leave on time. Bitch, don't play me. I may not know what YOUR job is and what it entails. But I know what MY job is. That stuff gets me so close to slitting tires its ridiculous. To hear them stutter and mumble on, thinking out of no where they will be blessed with a good enough reason for me to be stupid enough.It is absolutely pathetic. Man up bitch.
 
5. People who think the communal refrigerator is the place to conduct science expirements with their leftover crapfood.

6. people who freaking STEAL food.

At my last company, I actually left anonymous notes on the fridge regarding these two offenses. The hilarity of hearing people say, "Omg, did you see that note in there?" Was TOO MUCH!

I'll see if I can dig it up. I posted it in a discussion on a another forum.
 
1. The mother fucker that snatches your chair. I dont care who you are in this company. How much you make or what your title is. You steal my chair again and you and I are gonna have problems.

2. People that use your phone while you're gone. I come back from grabbing lunch and some ass maggot is on my desk phone. WTF? are you doing in my shit? Fuck outa here!
 
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