The Dead

[Godsloveapples]

The black widow
The sun and rain
The moon and shine
The misery and pain

Under the black clouds
Thunders roll
And the shrouds
Wrap around the cold

The earth swallows the dead bodies
and the souls fly away like axillaries
The physical bodies become no more
and the souls set out to explore

 

[SYN]

that is pretty true i suppose... sort of sounds like metal music... nice poem

 

[Zorak]

I quite like it.

But I'm really not sure about this simile: "and the souls fly away like axillaries"

 

[Obdurate]

The first 4 lines are my least favourite but the only line I'd really recommend changing is the "the misery and pain." Outside of that though, good stuff!

 

[Godsloveapples]

Thanks!

 

[2muchstylez]

is it just me or is that some what weird ehhh
nice poem tho im not going to hate cause i cant do better lolz :\

 

[SYN]

is it just me or is that some what weird ehhh
nice poem tho im not going to hate cause i cant do better lolz :\

lol how is it weird... its like rap

you write what you feel... raps same shit man

 

[2muchstylez]

not these days with rap ROFL soulja boi and crap lol i stick to old skool with meanin to a song but yeah this is like rap but its like weird at the same time like

The black widow
The sun and rain
The moon and shine
The misery and pain

how can u not find that weird :\

 

[SYN]

not these days with rap ROFL soulja boi and crap lol i stick to old skool with meanin to a song but yeah this is like rap but its like weird at the same time like

The black widow
The sun and rain
The moon and shine
The misery and pain

how can u not find that weird :\

dont wanna holla some 2pac lines...

btw this poem was prolly made by Mona Thats why its special and why i like it

 

[Godsloveapples]

dont wanna holla some 2pac lines...

btw this poem was prolly made by Mona Thats why its special and why i like it

Aww. You're so sweet! Thanks!