Dear Everybody,
Let's take a good look at my situation here:
- I'm warm and comfy
- I'm constantly fed
- Everybody keeps asking about me
- I have mommy all to myself
- I can sleep all damn day if I want to
Now, let's see what I have to look forward to:
- It's going to be COLD
- Some stranger in a mask is going to smack me on the butt
- I'm going to be chucked into a "baby kennel" with 20 other screaming kids
- I'm going to have poop on my butt all the time
- Too soon, I'm going to have to go to school
So you will all pardon the hell out of me if I'm in no hurry.
Now, if you will excuse me, mommy is listening to Oprah.
Sincerely,
Liam