Should a man be allowed to stop a woman from having an abortion?

[NightWarrior]

The man is the father of the baby. Does he have the right to stop a woman from having the child if he offers to parent the child without further help from the woman?

 

[Thebest]

I think he should be able to, I mean, it's not just the woman's decision to get the abortion, the guy has a say in the matter as well.

 

[GraceAbounds]

The man is the father of the baby. Does he have the right to stop a woman from having the child if he offers to parent the child without further help from the woman?

I don't believe the woman should abort the baby in the first place. So in my opinion, by all means let the child should go to the father who desires to love and raise the child.

But abortion is legal, so unfortunately I don't see how the father can stop the woman from getting an abortion since by law the rights and life of the mother are deemed as more valuable than the rights and life of the baby.

 

[Tim]

I've pondered this question before... it's a tough one to answer and I really haven't come to a good answer for myself yet... I need to hear more debate about the topic.

What does bother me is how the laws are completely one sided in favor of the woman. Once she is pregnant, the father has no say in if she keeps the baby or not under the law. Yet if she keeps the baby, under the law, you must support the child as a father.

Now both make sense in their own rights... but there are too many cases of women lying about their fertility (ie they say they are taking the pill) and trapping the man in supporting a child for 18 years. I understand that it is ultimately the mans problem (should always use a condom) but it isn't fair if he is lied to.....

 

[GraceAbounds]

I agree with your post Tim. Though regardless of the fact that some people lie on a regular basis, we all know the possible consequences of having sex. So I don't think that particular point holds much water.

 

[Boomer]

Yes. Can he TELL a woman to get one. NO.

 

[NightWarrior]

I've pondered this question before... it's a tough one to answer and I really haven't come to a good answer for myself yet... I need to hear more debate about the topic.

What does bother me is how the laws are completely one sided in favor of the woman. Once she is pregnant, the father has no say in if she keeps the baby or not under the law. Yet if she keeps the baby, under the law, you must support the child as a father.

Now both make sense in their own rights... but there are too many cases of women lying about their fertility (ie they say they are taking the pill) and trapping the man in supporting a child for 18 years. I understand that it is ultimately the mans problem (should always use a condom) but it isn't fair if he is lied to.....

I agree with you here. The laws are messed up in some southern states as well. In NC, you cannot bastardize a child, meaning the birth certificate must have the father's name on it. In NC, you have to be separated from your spouse for a period of 1 year before you can be granted a divorce. Can you see where I am going with this? A woman gets pregnant shortly after separation by another man. The woman decides to use her legal hubby's name on the certificate. That man is now screwed for the rest of his life. I know because this almost happened to me.

I would like to think that once conception has happened that the father has equal rights when it comes to matters surrounding the baby. I know there are plenty of pigs of men out there, but not all are like that. So if the father wants the baby, I don't see how the woman has a right to terminate.

 

[GraceAbounds]

I would like to think that once conception has happened that the father has equal rights when it comes to matters surrounding the baby. I know there are plenty of pigs of men out there, but not all are like that. So if the father wants the baby, I don't see how the woman has a right to terminate.

Turn it around. What if the father doesn't want the baby and the mother does? If he has rights to make her have the baby, should he also have rights to make her kill the baby?

 

[Tim]

Turn it around. What if the father doesn't want the baby and the mother does? If he has rights to make her have the baby, should he also have rights to make her kill the baby?

It's have the baby, or kill the fetus.....

It is illegal in ALL states to kill a baby.

 

[Thebest]

It's have the baby, or kill the fetus.....

It is illegal in ALL states to kill a baby.

Well I don't see why it wouldn't be considered a baby when it's a fetus, I mean, it is the same thing that's gonna come out of the womb, it's just developing at the time.

 

[NightWarrior]

Turn it around. What if the father doesn't want the baby and the mother does? If he has rights to make her have the baby, should he also have rights to make her kill the baby?

Why not? I'm not saying I believe in abortion, but if its legal, it should be legal for both the mother and the father. You can't have it one way. Men can't help the fact that women are the child-bearers. But, since they have equal obligation of care, they should have a choice. If the woman decides to have the baby, the father should have the option of not being the father and terminating his rights to it. Its sick to think like that because I can't see how anyone would not want to be a parent.

 

[Tim]

Well I don't see why it wouldn't be considered a baby when it's a fetus, I mean, it is the same thing that's gonna come out of the womb, it's just developing at the time.

Then let me gather up all the raw materials to make a car, heap them up in a pile and sell it to you as a car....

A car is not a car until it's put together... just like a sperm added to an egg isn't a baby...

 

[Thebest]

Then let me gather up all the raw materials to make a car, heap them up in a pile and sell it to you as a car....

A car is not a car until it's put together... just like a sperm added to an egg isn't a baby...

...silence with your logic!:willy_nilly:

 

[GraceAbounds]

It's have the baby, or kill the fetus.....

It is illegal in ALL states to kill a baby.

Let's not get into an argument on a play of words here. This isn't what this thread is about if I am understanding correctly.

I choose my words according to what I believe. And I believe that when the sperm fertilizes the egg a life starts to grow.

While you may not agree with my choice of words, you understand my point. And that is what matters. We do not have to express ourselves in the exact same way to converse on the topic at hand imo.

 

[NightWarrior]

Let's not get into an argument on a play of words here. This isn't what this thread is about if I am understanding correctly.

I choose my words according to what I believe. And I believe that when the sperm fertilizes the egg a life starts to grow.

While you may not agree with my choice of words, you understand my point. And that is what matters. We do not have to express ourselves in the exact same way to converse on the topic at hand imo.

But I think what Tim is implying here and of course he can correct me, is that words like this are used all the time when it comes to the argument of abortion for the "wow" factor. Its easier for people to think of a baby as life, but not so much when life is in fetus form.

 

[GraceAbounds]

Why not? I'm not saying I believe in abortion, but if its legal, it should be legal for both the mother and the father. You can't have it one way. Men can't help the fact that women are the child-bearers.

And neither can women, it just is the way it is. And while (for the sake of this discussion) a man may have a right to the baby's life, he doesn't have right to the women's life.

But, since they have equal obligation of care, they should have a choice. If the woman decides to have the baby, the father should have the option of not being the father and terminating his rights to it.

Personally I think people should make this choice before they decide to have sex. If they don't that is their own stupidity imo.

Its sick to think like that because I can't see how anyone would not want to be a parent.

I can understand people not wanting to be a parent and that doesn't bother me. What I can't understand is why people sleep around and then act surprised when someone comes up pregnant.

 

[GraceAbounds]

But I think what Tim is implying here and of course he can correct me, is that words like this are used all the time when it comes to the argument of abortion for the "wow" factor. Its easier for people to think of a baby as life, but not so much when life is in fetus form.

I understand and I am not doing it for the 'wow' factor. I state what I state because I am who I am and what I believe. Just because someone has labeled it as a fetus at a certain stage, does not change the fact that it is a human life growing. It is just the way I believe and I hope people can see and understand my perspective.

 

[Tim]

But, since they have equal obligation of care, they should have a choice. If the woman decides to have the baby, the father should have the option of not being the father and terminating his rights to it.

Personally I think people should make this choice before they decide to have sex. If they don't that is their own stupidity imo.

Here in lies the problem... sometimes they thought they were making the right choice when birth control was discussed before sex in a monogamous relationship. Like the example of the taking the pill.
Look at it this way... you and your husband talk about not having anymore children, you decide on the pill as the best course of action at this point in time. There is nothing he can do if you decide that you want another child and stop taking the pill without him knowing... Now is this his fault?

Its sick to think like that because I can't see how anyone would not want to be a parent.

I can understand people not wanting to be a parent and that doesn't bother me. What I can't understand is why people sleep around and then act surprised when someone comes up pregnant.

Again, you assume that the man is sleeping around... that's not the scenario that I would use as a basis of this topic. If he is just sleeping around without protection, then he is an idiot for allowing it to happen.

 

[GraceAbounds]

Here in lies the problem... sometimes they thought they were making the right choice when birth control was discussed before sex in a monogamous relationship. Like the example of the taking the pill.
Look at it this way... you and your husband talk about not having anymore children, you decide on the pill as the best course of action at this point in time. There is nothing he can do if you decide that you want another child and stop taking the pill without him knowing... Now is this his fault?

It is not his fault that he was lied to. But sex, even with birth control is not a sure safeguard. People need to really grasp this. I don't understand why they don't. The only way to prevent pregnancy 100% is abstinence, plain and simple - as much as people don't want to hear it is true. My sister in law who got her tubes tied - guess what? She got pregnant. I'm not saying I like that answer - but it is what it is.

Again, you assume that the man is sleeping around... that's not the scenario that I would use as a basis of this topic. If he is just sleeping around without protection, then he is an idiot for allowing it to happen.

No I'm not assuming that the man is sleeping around. I was speaking of people, including women, in general. I know that is not always the case, but like I implied those are the cases that trip me out. I'm well aware that many try to protect themselves and be what they call sexually responsible and still get pregnant when that is not what they wanted.

 

[Kat]

Honestly i dont agree with abortion...would never do it myself...that said though. It is the womans body in the end...and as much as i feel for the men who want their babys but the women have an abortion...its her body that has to go through all that stuff. So sad to say ultimatly its her choice.

Turn it around. What if the father doesn't want the baby and the mother does? If he has rights to make her have the baby, should he also have rights to make her kill the baby?

Why not? I'm not saying I believe in abortion, but if its legal, it should be legal for both the mother and the father. You can't have it one way. Men can't help the fact that women are the child-bearers. But, since they have equal obligation of care, they should have a choice. If the woman decides to have the baby, the father should have the option of not being the father and terminating his rights to it. Its sick to think like that because I can't see how anyone would not want to be a parent.

here in the state of ct...both parents had to sign the birth certificate. I could not just put Bo's name down he had to accept the responsibility himself. If he chose not too after 60 days it automatically terminated his rights his responsibility to the baby.

This whole thing is not fair. I can say that completly. But...again...it is the mothers right to terminate because it is her body. Id hope that if faced with the choice that the father wanted it and she didnt...then she would go through with it and give up her rights to him. But unfortunatly it is not that way. Nor do I think it would ever be. It would take away the free choice for women.