Rude People

[Veronica]

Autism Has My Child Has Just Posted the Following:

I get so tired of people that judge other people and their kids.* This morning I saw another post that a lady told a woman to shut up her child that was screaming getting his hair cut.* The woman told her the child was autistic and left crying. That’s a shame! People should be ashamed [...]

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[AUFred]

I am not going to defend the old fart but as an old fart myself I have taken similar opportunities to teach young people about why the National Anthem and Pledge of Allegiance are important parts of being an American.

I do not understand all that has happened in the last 40 years but the world seems to be a different place than when I was in school. Our school secretary had a bottle of aspirin and a bottle of Tylenol. She had a box of band-aids. Now every school has a full-time nurse or more to dispense pills and give insulin and even cath children. The food allergies these kids have are off the charts and they have to have someone available at all times. Probably a third or more of children are on ridilin(sp) or some other med for the alphabet soup of diagnosis these children are labeled with before they are even teenagers.

I will not give someone a free pass if they are truly rude but without knowing what a parent is dealing with on a daily basis I might have done similarly to just educate a child. Lord knows the schools are poorly lacking in teaching the social graces. If you were offended then I will apologize because my actions might have been similar. I have reached over and grabbed someone who was being annoying during the National Anthem at a sporting event. Unfortunately, in this day and age it is just as likely an adult being disrespectful as a child.

 

[Francis]

Actually I have thought long and hard about this post and wanted to give you two points of view you touched on.. Just some feedback from personal experience and nothing negative..

I have two kids and both have conditions you pointed out.. One has allergies and the other has ADD / ODD and is Autistic..

So let's start with the Allergies..

My son has nut allergies that can kill him in 20 seconds. I have had many discussions at his different age levels about how he feels about it.. Until this year it had not bothered him, no issues and and for the most part he did not mind not eating anything with nuts.

But this year that all changed and he has been a little different as he has seen many of the foods he used to eat disappear and some have creep of some of the stuff he is very allergic to. 3 weeks ago he had a very severe Asthma attack that had me by his bedside as he could barely intake air but had no clue what was happening.. As the doctors gave him Ventalin in multi dose to get him back on his feet he started to breath normally again.

After that we talked again and my son was in tears as the doctor told him how more restrictive his diet would become. No juices, no foods with yellow dye in it and more medication for at least a month.

That night he talked and told me how he wished he did not have allergies that caused his Asthma but he understood he did not choose his condition. I was so proud of my 9 year old son, who carries his Epi Pen as a cross to bare, every day at school as he understood other kids have it worse than him.

The allergist told us kids in the old days had just as many nut allergies as today. Parents just did not know about it and kids would die from asphyxiation upon the second ingestion of nuts many times when they would be away from home or even in their bedroom playing. So many kids had died with no reason of cause other than stopped breathing because proper testing was not done on them at a very early age.

Dealing with staying away from certain foods for ONE kid in the family when your a single parent is a nightmare.

Now ADD / ODD Autism.

Our daughter could never sit still, not in church or at the singing of our National Anthem any place when she was a child. When my Mother passed away in 2004 she was all over the place in the Funeral home and could not and would not stay put for a minute. While she may appear as a darling to most she was all over the map growing up.. From running in Walmart and purposely knocking all the stuff of shelves to throwing herself on the floor crying she wanted candy. Having her calm was always a blessing but it always seemed people would step in and make things worse and then they look at your like its your fault.

Wait, had you not said anything my child would have been happy, fine and not screaming which now creates a new issue.

I guess we teach our kids how to respect things in a different way. Instead of jumping, screaming and causing havoc all during events, we would rather they sit quietly and behave during important things such a Memorial Silent Moments, National Anthems and in hospital quiet zones.

My daughters best memories are of being happy and calm at age 21, not of being out of control and due to a medical condition that caused her to not be able to cope with life.

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Most people love their kids and I have no doubts about this.. If someone came up to their son or daughter when they were little and not feeling well and told them off for not "acting" properly during any event they you knew they were at their best behaviour under the circumstances, would they be happy ?

How about if they had the flu and someone tried to give them candy that would make their children even more sick..

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Every day I live in fear someone "could" hand my son a candy bar with nuts in it and I may never see him again.

Every day I have my daughter not be able to live with life's reality. I have spent nights with her at the hospital because had I not gone in with her they would have thought she was on drugs and not autistic and sent her back on the streets.

I would never change a thing no matter what.. I love my kids and I hold no grudge against anyone..

BUT there are day I wish I could trade my stress level with people who have never been thru this that give me or my kids a weird look because they have medical issues out of my kids control.. Both my kids wish they were normal but have learned to live with what was handed to them by life..

 

[AUFred]

My wife came home shook up one day last week. A child had an allergic reaction and all the nurse could do was call the paramedics because the mother of the child refused to send an Epi-pen for her daughter even though she knew of her daughter's allergies. Those parents who do the best they can for their children I really feel for the parent and the child. Unfortunately too many parents expect the school to do everything for them. These days of restricted budgets that is impossible.

 

[Francis]

My wife came home shook up one day last week. A child had an allergic reaction and all the nurse could do was call the paramedics because the mother of the child refused to send an Epi-pen for her daughter even though she knew of her daughter's allergies. Those parents who do the best they can for their children I really feel for the parent and the child. Unfortunately too many parents expect the school to do everything for them. These days of restricted budgets that is impossible.

I hear you..

Our schools require us to supply the Epi Pen.. No Epi Pen, no kid in school..

Daycare is the same..

My son has one in a body belt around his hip all the time.. He has been shown and will be shown many times how to use it..

Every year it cost me $300.00 to replace those 3 Epi Pens as they expire yearly.. These come out of my pocket and are not covered by medicare here in Canada.. I guess if I had extended Medical it would be, but being my own sub-contractor I have no extended care so it comes out of my pocket.

I still would not want it any other way.

I have a flight coming up with him.. I get peeved off as the Airlines give "us" a hard time because they have to make the 3 rows nut free. They must warn all the customers on both sides of the aircraft that a passenger has nut allergies and that no one is to take out food from their pockets with nuts in it and that nuts will not be served on the flight.. I cringe when they point him out but it is for his safety. And I always show the stewardess where the Epi Pen is when we board..

Luckily my son takes it in stride.. For him it's just another plane ride.. This will be his 4th and going on holidays is always a treat for him.

I always believed that is it far harder on the parent than the children until they grow up.. Although our kids are smart, they don't always grasp all the subtleties us adults must deal with although from time to time my son does tell me "that person wasn't nice".

He knows it's not an easy life and that's why if they had the choice most kids would be born perfect.. Oddly enough he was a 10 / 10 in health at the hospital when born.. Guess perfection doesn't guarantee a perfect life..

 

[AUFred]

Our kids did not have food allergies nor were diagnosed as ADD or ADHD, both are a little OCD but they get that from their parents.

 

[Francis]

Isn't OCD also called being stubborn and having to get it done your way..

We have lots of that as well here but no diagnosis.. :24:

 

[Natasha]

I commented on your blog, but I don't agree that the older gentleman was "bullying" Austin. I get frustrated w/ men who don't take their hats off during the National Anthem and Pledge, so I can understand people who take issue w/ it. Having said that, it was not his place to address the issue when a parent is sitting by a child. Roll your eyes, sigh, whatever...but you don't "parent" another person's child.