really dirty jokes.

[BreakfastSurreal]

these are some of my trademark gross you out type jokes.

so this one time this dude walked into a bar and ordered a crown and coke...the bartender hands him an apple... "what the hell is this?", he says angrily, wanting his liquor...
"its an apple" says the bartender. "well i fucking know that, douchebag...but why you giving me an apple when i ordered a crown and coke?" the guy said
"well just take a bite dude"...
dude takes a bite and says "HEY! this tastes like coke!" then the bartender says, "now turn it around and tryt he other side". So the dude turns it around and takes a bite out of the other side and says with delight, "wow this side tastes like crown!"
the guy smiles and looks at the bartender and orders another apple...
and after a few apples the dude is pretty damn drunk, and asks the bartender, "hey man, you got anything that tastes like a woman?"
the bartender says "i know juuuust the thing, man, dont worry, i got ya", and places a bright red plump voluptuous apple up on the bar
the dude takes a bite and in disgust says "THIS TASTES LIKE SHIT MAN!" and the bartender smiles and says, "well turn it around!"


have you ever had sex witha girl all night long, and then tried to go down on her the next morning?





well have you ever tried to pull apart a cold grilled cheese sandwich??

 

[elluko]

rofl.

 

[Maulds]

have you ever had sex witha girl all night long, and then tried to go down on her the next morning?

Jeez.....

 

[Thebest]

lol!:rofl2:

 

[ouachiski]

that last one made me make a squinchy face and go ewwww.

 

[Peter Parka]

Haha! Heard it before but still good!

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

haha yeah im good at grossing people out when i want to

 

[GuesSAngel]

i think i threw up in my mouth a little.

 

[random guy 517]

i got a gross type joke.

dude opens a bar but cant think up a name, so he'll name it after customer #3. 3rd customer is a girl, and her name is Jill. manager says "i like ur legs, so ill name the bar Jill's Legs."
next day, a hobo is outside the bar. when a cop asks him y he was there, he says "im waiting for Jill's Legs to open up so i can get a drink."