Question for those with children

[Niamh]

My sons 2 so the way he behaves in public fluctuates. I will choose a cart outside of a store to get the yelling out of his system about having to be strapped in the set, away from other people. Usually he doesn't cry but on rare occasions he will. If he begins to fuss in the store I don't leave until I'm done, seeing as I'm a single dad I don't have much of a choice at this point. I don't take him to the movies, and usually the only restraunt we go to is mcdonalds if we aren't eating at home. I get embarrassed when he makes a scene so I try to avoid that as much as possible.

There not called the terrible 2's for nothing!:24:

 

[AUFred]

My sons 2 so the way he behaves in public fluctuates. I will choose a cart outside of a store to get the yelling out of his system about having to be strapped in the set, away from other people. Usually he doesn't cry but on rare occasions he will. If he begins to fuss in the store I don't leave until I'm done, seeing as I'm a single dad I don't have much of a choice at this point. I don't take him to the movies, and usually the only restraunt we go to is mcdonalds if we aren't eating at home. I get embarrassed when he makes a scene so I try to avoid that as much as possible.

When our children came along we lived 100+ miles from our nearest relative. Babysitters were an option if we found one we coiuld trust but we could rarely afford to hire a babysitter. Our trips out became centered around what we could actually do where our children were not going to disturb others. We divided and conquered when either was in a bad mood. I cannot imagine being a single parent with small children.

 

[sexysadie]

I've always tried to be consistant. If I say we're going home if you act up then we're going home. My children are older now but when they were young, yes, I always considered other people and consistancy allowed us the time out that we deserved .......like anything else worth doing, it takes time but once you put that time in it's well worth the effort.

 

[Tim]

Some of you make it sound like it's completely unacceptable for children to make any noise when out.

There is a big difference between a child that is unruly and one that's just a little cranky... Sometimes babies cry, it doesn't mean you should be a shut-in because it might offend someone.
Don't let your baby scream and throw fits, but on the same token, if he gets a little cranky it's alright.

 

[AUFred]

Some of you make it sound like it's completely unacceptable for children to make any noise when out.

There is a big difference between a child that is unruly and one that's just a little cranky... Sometimes babies cry, it doesn't mean you should be a shut-in because it might offend someone.
Don't let your baby scream and throw fits, but on the same token, if he gets a little cranky it's alright.

I think most of us with children know the difference when we hear it between a child who needs a nap or is hungry and one who pitches a fit because that is how they get what they want. How you treat a child from an early age does make a difference how they act later in my opinion. We taught our children early on about "inside voices" versus "outside voices". I just think it shows consideration to others if you, as the parent, don't ignore a child being a brat.

 

[itsmeJonB]

Some of you make it sound like it's completely unacceptable for children to make any noise when out.

There is a big difference between a child that is unruly and one that's just a little cranky... Sometimes babies cry, it doesn't mean you should be a shut-in because it might offend someone.
Don't let your baby scream and throw fits, but on the same token, if he gets a little cranky it's alright.

I'm definitely referring to fits, my boy isn't a cry baby or a whiner, but when he gets cranky he goes full blown tantrum. Which, id like to clarify, is rare

 

[jassilem]

Liam is pretty good in public.. but he's vocal... he will talk nonstop about little things and point out things he recognizes. and sometimes I he will make almost a song out of nothing ... but the problem is he's loud. I keep asking him to talk lower or whisper. If I whisper to him he usually will start whispering.

He doesn't normally throw a fit unless he wants something.. usually I will distract him with one of his toys or his cup of water.

 

[Tim]

I think most of us with children know the difference when we hear it between a child who needs a nap or is hungry and one who pitches a fit because that is how they get what they want. How you treat a child from an early age does make a difference how they act later in my opinion. We taught our children early on about "inside voices" versus "outside voices". I just think it shows consideration to others if you, as the parent, don't ignore a child being a brat.

And that I agree with. Children need to understand the difference. But I have run into some of these people that get upset if a baby cries for even a moment in public.

 

[AUFred]

And that I agree with. Children need to understand the difference. But I have run into some of these people that get upset if a baby cries for even a moment in public.

Sometimes adults can be worse than the children. I understand all to well with a non-talking child crying is their only means to express displeasure. With most babies a changed diaper or bottle or simply being held may be enough to sooth them. I will admit getting disturbed when I cannot carry on a conversation at my table over the screams of a child in a restaurant. I have asked to be moved if it was obvious it was not going to get better. Of course, my original premise in the thread was from the parent's perspective of a child who was disturbing others.

 

[Tim]

I was in Walmart once and this child of 4 or 5 was so off the wall, screaming and carrying on, that everyone around was miserable (we were standing in line) After several minutes, seeing the parents were not attempting to quiet the child, I spoke up and told her to control her child... I actually got a little applause for that.

You don't yell at the kids like this, you smack their parents for raising them that way.

 

[AUFred]

I was in Walmart once and this child of 4 or 5 was so off the wall, screaming and carrying on, that everyone around was miserable (we were standing in line) After several minutes, seeing the parents were not attempting to quiet the child, I spoke up and told her to control her child... I actually got a little applause for that.

You don't yell at the kids like this, you smack their parents for raising them that way.

That is too funny. I try not to react but it can be difficult. I got an odd reaction out of a mother one day in Walmart. Her children were running through the store like they were on a playground. One of her daughters ran right into me as I was coming down the aisle. I reacted and caught the child before she bounced off me too far. I stood her still for a second and whispered "you don't need to be running in the store someone might get hurt." The mother just glared at me as I walked off.

 

[purpledove]

When you are in a public setting and your child becomes unruly do you take into consideration the other people around you?

Definitely. I started him off with counting up to three and a frustrated/angry look! He knows he gets grounded when at three he doesn't behave. It had most of the time worked so far! There were times tho' when even at the near utter of three and he remains to be unruly, then I encourage him to go to a corner away from a lot of people and talk to him nicely. He likes that for some reason and he calms down

 

[purpledove]

My nieces are beautiful and smart and I love them to pieces, but they are not disciplined AT ALL. I've been at my sisters for 3 weeks now, and I've been trying to instill a little discipline in them, but my sister (sort of jokingly but not really) tells everyone that I crack the whip too hard. But I tell you what, neither one of them throw fits with me, talk back to me, or give me any problems. But as soon as my sister takes them somewhere, stuff like the incident the other day happens.

Still though, disciplining someone elses kids (even your sisters) is never a good idea imo

Someone whose children are not my blood no, I wouldn't. But I refuse to be out in public with a child throwing a hissy fit while my sister sits there doing nothing and people are staring at us like we're retarded.

:homo:

I do see your point but people get very defensive when it comes to their kids, I know people who have fallen out over similar things.

I understand where you guys are coming from. It depends as some parents esp if you know them real well, dont mind when another family member/friend steps in to help discipline her kid. Like my cousin she has 2 unruly kids. She spoilt them too much where they're really unruly at public places. B4 i step in to discipline the misbehaving kid(s) I would ask my cousin first if it's OK. If it's a go, then i go ahead and do so. If not then I remain where I am and respect them for her decision as the parent!

But in that situation of Withers where the mom isn't doing anything like if my cousin refuses for me to intervene and the kid's tantrums continue with constant screaming, then I ask for us to leave and go home. Which so far had never happened yet as my cousin always allows me to intervene.

Some kids though listen more to others than their own parents sometimes :ninja

 

[anathelia]

My daughter is, generally speaking, very well behaved. She has moments where she may not get enough sleep or she may be feeling under the weather, and seen it right to throw a fit. This has very rarely happened out in public. A few months ago, we were out at Olive Garden and she was having a particularly bad day. We tried everything to calm her down: feeding her, passing her back and forth, giving her her blankie, getting her chocolate milk, etc. Nothing would calm her. We finally asked for the check and left when, in her fit of crying, she knocked over her cup of chocolate milk and spilled it all over the table and the floor.

We did what we could to help clean up, and the poor waiter who had to deal with us got a hefty tip.

She's usually good as gold when we go out, though.