Poor Single Mom

[Pheonix23B]

The stripper thread got me thinking. when do we as a society say enough is enough. 2 situations here: one is a single mother working 2 jobs to raise her children, working normal decent jobs (this isnt about stripping) she works hard to support her children. now you have a single mother who loves her children just the same, she sells drugs, engages in illegal activities to support her children just the same. do you hold the same regard as single mom#1 as you would for single mom #2? i mean at the end of the day they are both trying to support their families. just in two different ways. my question is do we as society shun mom #2 for being lazy and not getting up and taking the initiative and getting herself a decent job to support her children like mom #1, or do we say.. poor woman, she has to do what she has to do to support her kids.is she is a martyr?

 

[Pheonix23B]

I hope i didnt word this wrong. i typed it out and hit 'post' i have a friend of a friend of a friend..etc.. who is living off the system and selling drugs and other illegal stuff to support her children, she isnt a bad mother. she doesnt abuse them, neglect them, she doesnt even do drugs, but she does this in order to provide for her young children. why is this ok? because life dealt her a shitty hand? why is my other friend struggling with 2 jobs just to provide just the same for her children

 

[FreeWorkVest]

I think what you have is a system set up to punish those who follow the rules. The one "dooing things right" is the one who is less likely to have the time to raise her children and show them the right path to take. Society tells her "screw you, you deal with it" then throws as many stumbling blocks as possible to prevent it.

I know of a woman who works at a hospital during the day, cleans offices at night, and has two children, 2 and 4. The father was killed by a stray bullet from a gang fight, leaving her alone. She has to work the second job just to be able to afford baby sitters for her kids, and can't afford insurance. She doesn't qualify for much state aid because she makes too much money (22,000)


Hooray for capitalism

 

[Pheonix23B]

I think what you have is a system set up to punish those who follow the rules. The one "dooing things right" is the one who is less likely to have the time to raise her children and show them the right path to take. Society tells her "screw you, you deal with it" then throws as many stumbling blocks as possible to prevent it.

I know of a woman who works at a hospital during the day, cleans offices at night, and has two children, 2 and 4. The father was killed by a stray bullet from a gang fight, leaving her alone. She has to work the second job just to be able to afford baby sitters for her kids, and can't afford insurance. She doesn't qualify for much state aid because she makes too much money (22,000)


Hooray for capitalism

excellently said. sorry to hear about your friend, that is so unfortunate.

 

[FreeWorkVest]

excellently said. sorry to hear about your friend, that is so unfortunate.

She is doing what she needs to do. A couple of the doctors help out. Not the newer ones. The guys that have been at it for 10 or so years. They hire her to clean their houses and pay her a lot, in cash. Plus one, the Chief of Medicine, buys her lunch every friday.

 

[Pheonix23B]

Glad to hear there are still some good guys out there.

 

[Peter Parka]

I hope i didnt word this wrong. i typed it out and hit 'post' i have a friend of a friend of a friend..etc.. who is living off the system and selling drugs and other illegal stuff to support her children, she isnt a bad mother. she doesnt abuse them, neglect them, she doesnt even do drugs, but she does this in order to provide for her young children. why is this ok? because life dealt her a shitty hand? why is my other friend struggling with 2 jobs just to provide just the same for her children

I know a girl just like this, she is a great mum but is looking at 5 years right now for dealing and stealing. She's not a bad person, just very stupid and naive. She's only 19, has a 3 year old, her parents arn't around and she has 2 brothers she looks out for and both are complete twats. One of them is the most guilty out of the three of them for what's she's going down for while she is the least involved. It's sad because she really has no idea how bad prison is. I think it will be sad if she goes down though, what this girl needs is support to get a decent job or learn how to be happy where she is.

 

[FreeWorkVest]

Some of the new docs, the ones that have completed their residencies in the last 10 years or so are such arrogant jerks, I sometimes have to restrain myself from biting comments. They will walk down the hallways 3 or four abrest, but wont move for people coming the other way.
I see them run stop signs and stop lights all the time near the hospital, but the police don't bother, because they have this "A doctor might save my life one day" attitude.

They really do act more and more like they are gods every year.

 

[GraceAbounds]

Doing the right thing 99% of the time usually tends to be the harder thing to do, but in the long run pays much higher dividends in all aspects of life.

 

[Pheonix23B]

Doing the right thing 99% if the time usually tends to be the harder thing to do, but in the long run pays much higher dividends in all aspects of life.

huh? what?

 

[groundpounder]

I think that was her way of saying that mom #1 is doing a better job than mom #2, all other things equal (which I think you implied)...

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

ditto to what grace said

 

[Pheonix23B]

Some of the new docs, the ones that have completed their residencies in the last 10 years or so are such arrogant jerks, I sometimes have to restrain myself from biting comments. They will walk down the hallways 3 or four abrest, but wont move for people coming the other way.
I see them run stop signs and stop lights all the time near the hospital, but the police don't bother, because they have this "A doctor might save my life one day" attitude.

They really do act more and more like they are gods every year.

This is so disturbing.

 

[teh_fuzz]

Yes, mom#2 should look into the proper channels toget the help that she needs to take care of things without putting her or her baby at risk... Selling drugs is not something to be done around kids, the people you deal with are not to be trusted and you just cannot relax with or around them. most if not all of them at some point will stab you in the back for their own benefit.

I believe this government, while lacking on certain things, does have several opportunities available for single parents, and honestly, you can provide a healthy style of living and a nutritious diet on welfare.

Personally, I would much rather support welfare and systems alike more if there weren't so many lazy fuckers who basically abuse it and live off it, having the perfect ability of being a part of the work force in this country.

 

[Natasha]

Personally, once you go into the illegal activities aspect I have no sympathy for you. I understand the desire to do whatever it takes to provide for your kids...but illegal activities are the supposed easy way out. The problem is that it puts your children into that lifestyle, too, whether you mean for it to or not. So if you have no problems w/ your children being around the dregs of society, being put in foster care if and when you wind up in prison, or being subject to possible raids by the police...well, then, by all means.

 

[dazner]

Doing the right thing 99% of the time usually tends to be the harder thing to do, but in the long run pays much higher dividends in all aspects of life.

doesn't doing the right thing depend on how you were raised and what you were shown to believe on what is the right thing to do. Most of the women i've met at the strip clubs aren't there to make a living but to create funds to move onto something better in thier lives. I've talked to plenty of "strippers" and have heard that everyone they know don't ridicule them for what they do some actually think it's better than selling drugs or truley selling thier bodies (hooking). And I for some reason agree. It was how they were raised to get money how you can without breaking the law and ladies and gentlemen may I remind you this is not breaking the law. Again just how your raised I guess..

 

[Minor Axis]

What I've heard of in welfare, but have no first experience with is that when you get a job, your welfare payments are cut and in some cases taking a job means you get less, then you did on welfare. Too bad they can't make the system with more incentive to get the job anyway. BTW, I'm no expert on this.

 

[FreeWorkVest]

What I've heard of in welfare, but have no first experience with is that when you get a job, your welfare payments are cut and in some cases taking a job means you get less, then you did on welfare. Too bad they can't make the system with more incentive to get the job anyway. BTW, I'm no expert on this.

You also lose health care for your children, you get no help with day care, and lose your food subsidies. We need to fix Medicaid and welfare so that people who need it can still receive help while working.

 

[Peter Parka]

True stuff. I saw a study carried out over here which was basically showing how crap minimum wage is. A family of 4 are better off financially in this country on welfare benefits than if the man worked full time for minimum wage which would be virtually impossible for them to manage on, you can imagine how much worse off a single mum would be, not exactly incentive to get people working, is it?

 

[FreeWorkVest]

In the US, we still carry the Puritan/Calvinist idea that poverty is punishment for not being right with god. We treat poor people like they somehow deserve what they get, and throw stumbling blocks to them getting out from under it.

Someone actually told me (a christian no less) that it was a sin to accept public assistance, and that it was better for the children to go hungry. I told him maybe he bought a joke bible, take mine. I was stunned. He was in a position of leadership to.