Poetry By Me R.I.P George Porter Jordan the 3RD

[chatsalot88]

This is poetry by me Justin Whichard​

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue
This is how much I miss you grandad
you were every thing I ever had
we were so close ,now were so far
every night Igo to sleep I dream you'll be there in the morning
when I wake my dreams are crushed
I shed a tear every time I think of you.
I was 1 and so were you,1+1=2
my life has been saddened because of your death
I miss you more and more each day​

R.I.P George Porter Jordan the 3RD
MARCH,13,1936 TO APRIL,12,2011​

IF YOU'VE LOST A LOVED ONE BECAUSE OF CANCER PLEASE SHARE
DON'T BE AFRAID​

 

[brieze]

Nice =]

 

[Sparkey Duck]

My condolences on you loss


Not sure if you want this, but I am actually a 'qualified' critic.. don't use it, bad at it, but 'qualified' somewhat

On a critical level,

it may need to be 'we're so far'

If you use free verse, try putting it to the left side of the page, its not just aesthetics, but it can help with flow and cadence

If you put it like this

every night I go to sleep I dream
you'll be there in the morning.
when I wake my dreams
are crushed
I shed a tear every time I think of you.

The line breaks slow the pace, as it is a sorrowful piece

Anyways, post more! ... I'll not type anything about them if you don't want, I just love to see people writing poetry! =)