My fathers last full day alive was today twenty years ago. His cancer had spread so rapidly in less than three years of his diagnose. He was found to have melanoma in 1988 and it seemed at the time that nothing an operation and some monitoring wouldn't fix. Some three months later it had spread to his lungs. Soon it was spread throughout his body. He did not look as he was in much pain as his daily struggles to do the most obvious things were getting more difficult. Dad never wanted to stay in a hospital too long, because he wanted to be able to see the sun on his terms. The chemo treatments that followed were zapping him. My sister took an enormous time away from her job at the hospital to care for him. Finally, in January of 1991 his doctor told him the news, the chemo was doing nothing for his cancer and it was time to face reality. Dad lost his ability to hear and talk after his last round with chemo, so mom and my sister took him home and he sat in his chair the rest of his days. Looking back on this and seeing my mother struggling with her day to day activities she must miss his company, for dad was after all 54 when he was diagnosed with his cancer. That night I went out with a friend of mine and got kind of drunk and came home and saw him laying in bed..I kissed his forehead and said " I love you dad..." next morning I woke up to the sound of my sister pleading with dad to get up out of bed...his eyes were in a daze and I knew his will was gone and he was going to be gone..dads eyes closed and he slumped back on to the bed...he left us...looking outside I saw a cloud with streaks of light going through it and feeling the rain on my body...God had taken Dad to heaven and it was going to be alright...
So on this March 21,2011...
I think of that night in 1991 and sigh...and remember all the times we did have and how fast twenty years goes by...and I still miss you Dad and love you
Your son,
Patrick
little more on the situation...I am the youngest of five (three older brothers and one sister) the family never really wants to talk about Dad. Its sad because I am sure they do miss him. Dad was cremated and his ashes are all over there was no tomb with his name on it. My mother said she would get around to it (she never did) so, when my mother passes she will be buried in the USA and we will have a stone with both of their names on it. I see my dad's reflection in the mirror every morning and know he hears me when I talk to him. He missed out on three grandchildren and four great-grandchildren, but I am sure to remind them of the person I call my dad.
So on this March 21,2011...
I think of that night in 1991 and sigh...and remember all the times we did have and how fast twenty years goes by...and I still miss you Dad and love you
Your son,
Patrick
little more on the situation...I am the youngest of five (three older brothers and one sister) the family never really wants to talk about Dad. Its sad because I am sure they do miss him. Dad was cremated and his ashes are all over there was no tomb with his name on it. My mother said she would get around to it (she never did) so, when my mother passes she will be buried in the USA and we will have a stone with both of their names on it. I see my dad's reflection in the mirror every morning and know he hears me when I talk to him. He missed out on three grandchildren and four great-grandchildren, but I am sure to remind them of the person I call my dad.
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