A Man Walks Into a Bar With A Monkey
This guy walks into this bar with his monkey and the bar tender says to him:
Bartender: Hey! No animals allowed in here.
Guy with Monkey: Oh don't worry he'll be good.
Bartender: Well ok but if there's any problems you and your monkey are out. So what will you have?
The guy asks for a beer and tells his monkey to sit down beside him. Everything goes well for the first few minutes until the monkey see two guys playing billiard. The monkey goes to the table and looks over the edge. Every time a ball goes by he grabs the ball and flings it across the table.
Billiard Guy: Hey man your monkey is wrecking our game. Guy with Monkey: Oh! I'm sorry he won't bug you again. Bartender: Hey I told you no problems or you're out.
Guy with Monkey: I'm sorry he'll be good. I'll just finish my beer and we'll leave.
Again after a few minutes of looking at the table the monkey goes back but this time when a ball goes by he grabs it and swallows it whole.
Billiard Guy: Hey Man!! Your dam monkey just ate our freaking ball.
Bartender: All right you and your monkey, get out!
Guy with Monkey: Ok, ok, we'll leave.
A few weeks go by and the guy comes back to the bar.
Bartender: Hey you with the monkey, last time you where here your monkey caused nothing but problems, I don't need you in here.
Guy with Monkey: Actually, you don't need to worry about the monkey he learned his lesson.
Bartender: All right, you two get one more chance but I'm keeping an eye on you. What will you have then?
The guy gets another beer and drinks it at the bar counter. Meanwhile the monkey just sits there waiting, being good. The bar tender keeps looking at the monkey to see what he's doing. After a few minutes the monkey looks at the bowl of peanuts, goes to it and grabs one peanut. He looks at it, takes it and shoves it up its butt, he takes it out again and plops it in its mouth and swallows it.
At seeing this, the bartender is completely grossed out.
Bartender: What the hell was that?
Guy with Monkey: Oh that. Yeah, since the last time we where here he now measures everything before he eats it.
This guy walks into this bar with his monkey and the bar tender says to him:
Bartender: Hey! No animals allowed in here.
Guy with Monkey: Oh don't worry he'll be good.
Bartender: Well ok but if there's any problems you and your monkey are out. So what will you have?
The guy asks for a beer and tells his monkey to sit down beside him. Everything goes well for the first few minutes until the monkey see two guys playing billiard. The monkey goes to the table and looks over the edge. Every time a ball goes by he grabs the ball and flings it across the table.
Billiard Guy: Hey man your monkey is wrecking our game. Guy with Monkey: Oh! I'm sorry he won't bug you again. Bartender: Hey I told you no problems or you're out.
Guy with Monkey: I'm sorry he'll be good. I'll just finish my beer and we'll leave.
Again after a few minutes of looking at the table the monkey goes back but this time when a ball goes by he grabs it and swallows it whole.
Billiard Guy: Hey Man!! Your dam monkey just ate our freaking ball.
Bartender: All right you and your monkey, get out!
Guy with Monkey: Ok, ok, we'll leave.
A few weeks go by and the guy comes back to the bar.
Bartender: Hey you with the monkey, last time you where here your monkey caused nothing but problems, I don't need you in here.
Guy with Monkey: Actually, you don't need to worry about the monkey he learned his lesson.
Bartender: All right, you two get one more chance but I'm keeping an eye on you. What will you have then?
The guy gets another beer and drinks it at the bar counter. Meanwhile the monkey just sits there waiting, being good. The bar tender keeps looking at the monkey to see what he's doing. After a few minutes the monkey looks at the bowl of peanuts, goes to it and grabs one peanut. He looks at it, takes it and shoves it up its butt, he takes it out again and plops it in its mouth and swallows it.
At seeing this, the bartender is completely grossed out.
Bartender: What the hell was that?
Guy with Monkey: Oh that. Yeah, since the last time we where here he now measures everything before he eats it.
