A PIRATE
A sailor meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures. The sailor notes that the pirate as a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch.
"How did you end up with a peg leg??" he asks.
"I was swept overboard into a school of sharks" the pirate replies.
"As my men were pulling me out a shark bit off my leg."
"WOW!!!" cries the sailor.
"What about your hook??"
"ARGH" An enemy hacked off my hand during a raid"
"Incredible!!!!" How'd you get the eye patch?"
"A sea gull shit in my eye."
"You lost your eye to a sea gull dropping???"
"Well, it was my first day with the hook"
- LOL -
Q: If the world was a jacket, where would all the black people live?
A: In the hood.
- MICKEY MOUSE -
Mickey Mouse wants to divorce Minnie Mouse. The lawyer then asks Mickey "Why do you want to divorce her? Give me a reason, is she crazy?" Mickey replies, "No, she's not crazy, she's fucking goofy!"
- BARBIE -
A lady is triying to buy a barbie for her little girl, so she is asking for prices.
The store cashier says:
MAID BARBIE= $20
TEACHER BARBIE=$20
STUDENT BARBIE=$20
BRIDE BARBIE=$20
AND
DIVORCED BARBIE=$300
The shopper asks , WHY IS DIVORCED BARBIE SO EXPENSIVE!??
The cashier replies, BECOUSE IT COMES WITH KEN'S HOUSE, CAR, AND EVEN KEN'S BEST FRIEND
========================
An airplane is decreasing speed very rapidly going downward, the pilot comes over the intercom and says I'm sorry it had to come to this folks, but unfortunately we're going to have to let some of the luggage go'.... The plane continues to decrease speed.
Again you hear the pilot over the intercom 'I hate to have to do this but now we're going to have to start releasing passengers by alphabetical order beginning with the letter 'A!!!..... Africans, any Africans!?.... No one answers 'B!!! 'Black People, any Black People!? again, silence. 'C!!! 'Colored People, any Colored People!?... silence.
A black little boy in the back turns to his mother and says 'but mom, ain't we African American? aren't we Black? aren't we Colored? 'the mother turns to her son and says 'Yes son, but today we're Niggas!!!!... Mexicans go first!..
The little black boy turns to the little Mexican kid seating next to him and laughs....!!!
The Mexican kid laughs back and says today I'm a Wetback..
A sailor meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures. The sailor notes that the pirate as a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch.
"How did you end up with a peg leg??" he asks.
"I was swept overboard into a school of sharks" the pirate replies.
"As my men were pulling me out a shark bit off my leg."
"WOW!!!" cries the sailor.
"What about your hook??"
"ARGH" An enemy hacked off my hand during a raid"
"Incredible!!!!" How'd you get the eye patch?"
"A sea gull shit in my eye."
"You lost your eye to a sea gull dropping???"
"Well, it was my first day with the hook"
- LOL -
Q: If the world was a jacket, where would all the black people live?
A: In the hood.
- MICKEY MOUSE -
Mickey Mouse wants to divorce Minnie Mouse. The lawyer then asks Mickey "Why do you want to divorce her? Give me a reason, is she crazy?" Mickey replies, "No, she's not crazy, she's fucking goofy!"
- BARBIE -
A lady is triying to buy a barbie for her little girl, so she is asking for prices.
The store cashier says:
MAID BARBIE= $20
TEACHER BARBIE=$20
STUDENT BARBIE=$20
BRIDE BARBIE=$20
AND
DIVORCED BARBIE=$300
The shopper asks , WHY IS DIVORCED BARBIE SO EXPENSIVE!??
The cashier replies, BECOUSE IT COMES WITH KEN'S HOUSE, CAR, AND EVEN KEN'S BEST FRIEND
========================
An airplane is decreasing speed very rapidly going downward, the pilot comes over the intercom and says I'm sorry it had to come to this folks, but unfortunately we're going to have to let some of the luggage go'.... The plane continues to decrease speed.
Again you hear the pilot over the intercom 'I hate to have to do this but now we're going to have to start releasing passengers by alphabetical order beginning with the letter 'A!!!..... Africans, any Africans!?.... No one answers 'B!!! 'Black People, any Black People!? again, silence. 'C!!! 'Colored People, any Colored People!?... silence.
A black little boy in the back turns to his mother and says 'but mom, ain't we African American? aren't we Black? aren't we Colored? 'the mother turns to her son and says 'Yes son, but today we're Niggas!!!!... Mexicans go first!..
The little black boy turns to the little Mexican kid seating next to him and laughs....!!!
The Mexican kid laughs back and says today I'm a Wetback..
