is this controlling?

R

retro

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My sister told her boyfriend (I'm assuming at the urging of my parents) that he had one more year to play WoW, and after that she'd break up him if he was still playing. This is because my family has it in their heard that my marriage ended because of WoW, when my playing the game as much as I did was simply a result of how bad our marriage was on all levels. She wantched TV all day, and I played WoW when I was done with work.

But my situation is beside the point... I think it's ridiculous for her to level this ultimatum on him. Especially since it isn't video games in general, no... it's just WoW. Maybe I'm overreacting though.
 
Nope, not overreacting. To give your partner any ultimatum is pushing it. If you need or feel the need to drop anything like this on your partner, then maybe they shouldn't be together in the first place.

I can't imagine giving Alicia and ultimatum for anything, or her me. If it's something we can't talk over, then we have bigger issues than a video game, or whatever.
 
Tim said:
Nope, not overreacting. To give your partner any ultimatum is pushing it. If you need or feel the need to drop anything like this on your partner, then maybe they shouldn't be together in the first place.

I can't imagine giving Alicia and ultimatum for anything, or her me. If it's something we can't talk over, then we have bigger issues than a video game, or whatever.
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That exactly how I see it... I think it's indicative of other issues that they may have. Plus, it isn't like he's ignoring her to play the game either... they go out like 2-3 nights a week, even when she should be studying (she's in a really tough RN program right now). It just seems like they're setting each other for some bad stuff down the road if this is the way that it's going to be.
 
Taralynn said:
A year seems an odd time frame to me. Most ultimatums that I'm aware of, is for a fraction of that time. Like a few weeks. :(
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I think that's when she'll be done with the nursing program and he'll have his degree and hopefully have a job. Which would then lead to them getting married... so I think that's where the year is coming from.
 
Seems to me if that's how they spend so much time and she's unhappy about that, they either don't have that much in common or are staying together for comfort/safety reasons. Surely there's a compromise that can be reached? It's not like he's hurting anybody. But yes, a flat out all or nothing seems a little steep for a video game.
 
That's totally unfair and if they can't come up with a compromise when in a relationship and communicate to each other to come to a happy medium then they don't belong together. That's really sad. It's just a game. If they don't do things together then why are they even together?

I knew someone in the same situation where he played WOW and she watched TV and after 15 years of marriage she left him cuz she realized that the relationship had just turned into one of convenience. She didn't leave cuz he played WOW she left cuz she realized they had hardly anything in common anymore.
 
You know my opinion on the situation.


if I were your sister's boyfriend, I would definitely not tolerate that kind of controlling ultimatum. And if I were your sister in the relationship, I'd hope I'd get a nice bitchslap from reality in the face if I ever did that.
 
Not fair! Everyone has got to have a hobby or an escape. To a lot of people WoW is a good escape from crap every day live throws at ya.

Now if he's playing it like ALL THE TIME then I can see her having him cut back, but to completely stop...lame.
 
There's only so much time you can spend on a video game before you look like a lazy hermit. From my experience, I've had a similar situation. He would always spend too much time on there, and he would say "Because you're always on the forums", but I was always on here because he was always on WoW, and this meant he had his sleeping patterns screwed up due to the time difference too. He spent so much time on it, more than 8 hours, and this meant that whenever he slept, I was awake, and when I slept, he was awake and on that game, it screwed up a lot of things.
The thing is with WoW, people feel like they have an obligation to play it, they don't want to let their team down. What you'll find is though, if you leave the game, they'll be mad at you and not understanding at all, and you'll find they aren't your true friends anyway (as was the case with my ex who left the game and they hated on him).

I think the ultimatum was unfair, but maybe she should ask him to just reduce his time on it. I don't think anyone realises just how annoying it is watching the love of your life play some boring game for more than ten hours a day.
 
KimmyCharmeleon said:
There's only so much time you can spend on a video game before you look like a lazy hermit. From my experience, I've had a similar situation. He would always spend too much time on there, and he would say "Because you're always on the forums", but I was always on here because he was always on WoW, and this meant he had his sleeping patterns screwed up due to the time difference too. He spent so much time on it, more than 8 hours, and this meant that whenever he slept, I was awake, and when I slept, he was awake and on that game, it screwed up a lot of things.
The thing is with WoW, people feel like they have an obligation to play it, they don't want to let their team down. What you'll find is though, if you leave the game, they'll be mad at you and not understanding at all, and you'll find they aren't your true friends anyway (as was the case with my ex who left the game and they hated on him).

I think the ultimatum was unfair, but maybe she should ask him to just reduce his time on it. I don't think anyone realises just how annoying it is watching the love of your life play some boring game for more than ten hours a day.
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well said!
 
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