As most of you know, my partner got laid off again recently. He's looking for work, the job market is really poor, the usual.
I told my senior director this and he was very sympathetic, and made some suggestions for looking into free courses.
Then my commercial director, who works from our (tiny) office in London, asked me to come down and see him last week. I did so, and when he asked about my home life I told him that things are stressful at the moment - I already knew my director, who is also his dad would have told him about it so there seemed no point in hiding it.
He then proceeded to say a long version of 'I could help you financially by giving you a raise, but I don't get anything out of that. (I'm not kidding, he said he didn't get anything out of it) If you do x y and z, I will consider it'. He also then tore me down by telling me there were plenty of people looking for work who could do my job, that he could have got someone with more experience etc etc. I left feeling like crap - and even worse because the travel time was an extra 2.5 hours on my day.
He said at the time that he wanted to see about me going down to London more often. I hate the idea, but at the time I was still reeling from everything else he said, so I just let it go over my head. Now today, he phones me and says he'd like me to come up again this week wednesday.
Luckily, I said I wasn't sure what I was doing and would have to get back to him. Then with help later from my colleague, I drafted a letter and emailed him to say I couldn't do this week because I have other plans, but perhaps we could rearrange. I also took the opportunity to say I'd been thinking about his offer, but due to the fact that I suffer from vertigo and find it unbearable to make long journeys on trains or boats, it would be impossible for me to come down more than once a month.
It's not a lie - I do suffer from vertigo and have had attacks in the past that left me unable to move for several hours. It also means moving vehicles make me nauseous and dizzy. I'm only in the last year or so fully comfortable with buses. Taking a 45 minute train ride, then a 30 minute underground journey trip, twice a day, two days a week, would kill me.
I didn't hear back from him. He sent me other emails so I know he got that one. I won't mention it if he doesn't.
This is the last straw though. He's driven other members of staff away with his attitude - his people skills are actually appalling. And on Thursday last week, the day after I'd been to London, he obviously knew he'd upset me because he asked my colleague whether I'd come into work!
I feel very glad to have a job with the way things are, but even happier that I can legitimately say to interviewers that my post was being reallocated against my will to another city, so my short time there isn't such a big deal.
I told my senior director this and he was very sympathetic, and made some suggestions for looking into free courses.
Then my commercial director, who works from our (tiny) office in London, asked me to come down and see him last week. I did so, and when he asked about my home life I told him that things are stressful at the moment - I already knew my director, who is also his dad would have told him about it so there seemed no point in hiding it.
He then proceeded to say a long version of 'I could help you financially by giving you a raise, but I don't get anything out of that. (I'm not kidding, he said he didn't get anything out of it) If you do x y and z, I will consider it'. He also then tore me down by telling me there were plenty of people looking for work who could do my job, that he could have got someone with more experience etc etc. I left feeling like crap - and even worse because the travel time was an extra 2.5 hours on my day.
He said at the time that he wanted to see about me going down to London more often. I hate the idea, but at the time I was still reeling from everything else he said, so I just let it go over my head. Now today, he phones me and says he'd like me to come up again this week wednesday.
Luckily, I said I wasn't sure what I was doing and would have to get back to him. Then with help later from my colleague, I drafted a letter and emailed him to say I couldn't do this week because I have other plans, but perhaps we could rearrange. I also took the opportunity to say I'd been thinking about his offer, but due to the fact that I suffer from vertigo and find it unbearable to make long journeys on trains or boats, it would be impossible for me to come down more than once a month.
It's not a lie - I do suffer from vertigo and have had attacks in the past that left me unable to move for several hours. It also means moving vehicles make me nauseous and dizzy. I'm only in the last year or so fully comfortable with buses. Taking a 45 minute train ride, then a 30 minute underground journey trip, twice a day, two days a week, would kill me.
I didn't hear back from him. He sent me other emails so I know he got that one. I won't mention it if he doesn't.
This is the last straw though. He's driven other members of staff away with his attitude - his people skills are actually appalling. And on Thursday last week, the day after I'd been to London, he obviously knew he'd upset me because he asked my colleague whether I'd come into work!
I feel very glad to have a job with the way things are, but even happier that I can legitimately say to interviewers that my post was being reallocated against my will to another city, so my short time there isn't such a big deal.
my job isn't ending at all, but my direct manager - it's only a very small company so I can't get away from him - has crossed the line from disagreeable to unbearable. At a time when I'm already incredibly stressed and miserable, he's just added to it by telling me he wants me to commute twice weekly, which will make me unhappy and sick.
