Parenting Advice
We were all once children and here's my take on a few things.
1 - why "hand me down" is a bad idea:
My boy boobs never filled in to my sister's bras and Kids just laughed at me.
My brother gave me his shirt once. Turned out earlier that day he had been seen stealing. The police were looking for someone who looked much like me wearing that matching shirt.
Mother gave me father's old jacket. I was happy and she told me she would like me to go get some groceries and gave me a $50. I later got arrested for dealing marijuana because they caught me with $50 in my pocket and some marijuana in dad's jacket.
2 - Why you should never cut your own children's hair:
Turns out bowls are for containing food, not for cutting hair.
Bald isn't always beautiful. Especially if you are asian. People will think you are a buddhist monk.
3 - Why parents should buy their children subscription to some good magazines like national geographic and such:
Would you rather have them look at YOUR magazines?
At least they are reading.
Someday when they graduate high school, maybe they'll remember where USA is on a world globe.
4 - Why you should spend more time with your kids.
If they are going to learn to be an alcoholic, they should learn from the best.
You'll have an excuse why you didn't come home right away. "I took our kids bowling."
If you don't, someone else will, and I think they are called "Pedophiles".
5 - Why you should give bigger allowances:
The money is leaving your wallet and purse one way or another.
When Mother's day rolls around, wouldn't it be nice to get something besides a cheap $0.99 card written in crayons?
Sometimes you'll be glad you gave them some hush money.
6 - Why you should let your kids do a sleep over at a friend's:
It saves on grocery cause someone else is feeding your kids.
You get to spend more time with the mrs, doing the tax.
7 - Why private school is better than public school:
Public schools are much bigger. 1 bully is better than 10 bullies.
Teachers actually care. And not just cause they wanna sleep with them.
8 - Why It's good to buy games for your kids:
At least they are excercising BOTH hands at same time.
9 - Why you should be willing to write checks for your children's college tuition:
Someday you'll have arthriris and someone's going to have to write that check for old folks home.
10 - Why you should use words to help your kids be better and not ever hit:
Sooner or later they are going to be taller and bigger than you. You want them to hit back?
A pimp's gonna do that anyway.
We were all once children and here's my take on a few things.
1 - why "hand me down" is a bad idea:
My boy boobs never filled in to my sister's bras and Kids just laughed at me.
My brother gave me his shirt once. Turned out earlier that day he had been seen stealing. The police were looking for someone who looked much like me wearing that matching shirt.
Mother gave me father's old jacket. I was happy and she told me she would like me to go get some groceries and gave me a $50. I later got arrested for dealing marijuana because they caught me with $50 in my pocket and some marijuana in dad's jacket.
2 - Why you should never cut your own children's hair:
Turns out bowls are for containing food, not for cutting hair.
Bald isn't always beautiful. Especially if you are asian. People will think you are a buddhist monk.
3 - Why parents should buy their children subscription to some good magazines like national geographic and such:
Would you rather have them look at YOUR magazines?
At least they are reading.
Someday when they graduate high school, maybe they'll remember where USA is on a world globe.
4 - Why you should spend more time with your kids.
If they are going to learn to be an alcoholic, they should learn from the best.
You'll have an excuse why you didn't come home right away. "I took our kids bowling."
If you don't, someone else will, and I think they are called "Pedophiles".
5 - Why you should give bigger allowances:
The money is leaving your wallet and purse one way or another.
When Mother's day rolls around, wouldn't it be nice to get something besides a cheap $0.99 card written in crayons?
Sometimes you'll be glad you gave them some hush money.
6 - Why you should let your kids do a sleep over at a friend's:
It saves on grocery cause someone else is feeding your kids.
You get to spend more time with the mrs, doing the tax.
7 - Why private school is better than public school:
Public schools are much bigger. 1 bully is better than 10 bullies.
Teachers actually care. And not just cause they wanna sleep with them.
8 - Why It's good to buy games for your kids:
At least they are excercising BOTH hands at same time.
9 - Why you should be willing to write checks for your children's college tuition:
Someday you'll have arthriris and someone's going to have to write that check for old folks home.
10 - Why you should use words to help your kids be better and not ever hit:
Sooner or later they are going to be taller and bigger than you. You want them to hit back?
A pimp's gonna do that anyway.
