How to frustrate a telemarketer 101

[AUFred]

Caller ID reads "Unavailable"
Me: Hello
Him: Hello
Me: Hello
Him: Hello
Me: Hello
Him: Hello
Me: Hello
Him: I am (insert name here"not his real name") with GTDEASWK!%$ Tech support
Me: Who tech support
Him: Sounding flustered $@#!(&^ tech support about your computer
Me: Hang-up
shoutout to India LOL!

 

[JoanMcWench]

My friend has a particularly interesting way of handling this situation. He consistently asks them to take his number off the list and somehow they forget or ignore him (more likely. So, inevitably, he gets a little angry and decides what would be the nicest way to get these people to stop calling?

"Have you accepted the Lord saviour Jesus Christ into your life?"

...and does he go hard. He really tries to keep them on the line. I happened to catch him doing this on speaker phone and I could not stop laughing. Fantastic move.

 

[Knotical]

My favorite way of handling a telemarketer was on an episode of Seinfeld, where Jerry told the guy that he didn't have time to talk and if he could get the telemarketers home number he would call him back. The telemarketer refused saying he didn't want people calling him at home, Jerry responded saying that now the TM now knows how he (Jerry) feels.

 

[Aries]

Every time I hear the word telemarketer I think of this.

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[Josie]

I used to hand the phone to a baby/toddler and let them have a conversation with them. SO funny. Now that they're older I just don't answer lol.

 

[Joe the meek]

Just took a call yesterday on a home security system. Spent 5 minutes on the phone with them until they asked if I had any current type of system. Told them had three 12 gauges around the house. For some reason, my best Billy Crystal impression made me sound like a woman. Apparently they were suprised that a "old woman" would have shotguns around the house, even more surprised when this old lady told them "she" wouldn't have a problem blowing away any m*****f***** who tried to break into "her" home at night

 

[AUFred]

Thing is I signed up for do not call services and often ask to be removed from calling lists. I still get the calls and since I run a business from home, "Unavailable" might be a customer.

 

[Kotro]

A couple of years ago I found out I have a knack for impersonating old ladies. Everytime I get a non-identified call, I'm pretty sure it's a telemarketer. If I'm in the right mood, I immediately get in character and give it my most frailed-sounding "Hello?". I let him introduce himself, make him talk for a while, before I say back "I'm sorry, I'm afraid I couldn't hear that, I'm a bit deaf, you'll have to speak up". They usually try a couple more times, everytime I'm telling them to speak louder, until they just give up, and say they'll call later. Occasionally I had one hang up swearing.

Of course, this isn't proper behaviour, I mean, telemarketers are working people too, they have to make a living, we shouldn't make their lifes harder than they already are. Honestly.

 

[isabbbela]

LOL, I love the video Ariel posted.... I feel like doing that! Telemarketers are a freaking nightmare, I think even they hate themselves. I'm positive, though, they hate their jobs as much as we do! So I can't help but to feel sorry for them!

 

[The Man]

I might put the next one on hold...see how long they stay on the line.

 

[Knotical]

I do wonder why anyone would want to take a job as a telemarketer. I was even considered for one through a temp agency recently and told them I wasn't really interested until I found out more about it. Turned out it wasn't pure cold calling, which made it easier to consider. Didn't end up getting the job though.

 

[MyDigitalpoint]

Great ideas, I usually have the voicemail connected to the phone with a software that replicates telemarketing services but in the way they answer when you call up.

"If you know the person you want to talk press the number of extension" (there's no extension no number assiged"
"For information press 1"
"For this press 2"
"Ford that other press 3"

And so on, and only my family and friends know the trick to stop the recording and turn on the monitor so I can here they are who are calling.

 

[Kaylah]

Telemarketers are so annoying and pushy. I just hang up on them. I don't even try to be polite.

 

[Catavenger]

Waste their time, tell them that you are really interested in what they have to sell but that you need to check something on the stove then set the phone down and walk off.

 

[kelvin070]

I tell them bluntly, I don't entertain cold calls.

 

[Oakster]

The Classic:

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[virtualtraveler]

LOL sounds like a pretty fun way to deal with telemarketers! Any more advice!