How easily do you "embrace?"

[Elle]

Are you a "love all people" kind of person?

Or do you despise certain lifestyles so much so, that you will never share a word with "those people?"

How quickly/easily can you move past when someone says something that you feel is utterly stupid and pisses you off to no end? Do you think about how angry you are and keep going with that anger? Or can you look inside the incident, the person and the words and see what the real deal is?

Do you purposely avoid people in public, who's physical appearance makes you uncomfortable?

How easily can you embrace another individual in your personal life?
- an ex's new significant other? When they become the new stepmother/father to your children?

- A new coworker? Do you wait for them to show signs of being social with you, or do you go out of your way to make them feel welcome and help them along their way?

..........................................you see where I'm going here.

How sensitive are you? Are you a whiner when it comes to your being offended? How do you get past it?

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

Are you a "love all people" kind of person?

Or do you despise certain lifestyles so much so, that you will never share a word with "those people?"

Good thread. I can say that I USED to be a love all people person. But now, after getting screwed or lied to by the SAME people multiple times, I can say that I am a bit judgmental towards those types of people. Mainly my in laws. The lifestyle I despise so much is exactly the one I used to participate in. I can say that I have really changed...for a long time after I quit drugs I tried to pull my old friends up and help them also...but after getting my car stolen by my roommate and so called "friend", who by the way was living with us for free, so that we could help him get away from the drugs, I lost faith in people. Even my friends. My husband and I stopped talking to EVERYONE we knew, other than close family, and started over. Now we have a great group of friends, and choose not to associate with anyone from our past anymore. I realized how much these drugs change people, and how they've lost the good that i thought was once inside all people. As for the inlaws, they are family so we still keep in contact with them, but it's amazing how much of a difference there is between us. We don't relate at all about anything...all their lives are is drama, so we stay as far away from them as possible now.

How quickly/easily can you move past when someone says something that you feel is utterly stupid and pisses you off to no end? Do you think about how angry you are and keep going with that anger? Or can you look inside the incident, the person and the words and see what the real deal is?

I am pretty much a forgive and forget person when it comes to this kind of stuff. I might get pretty angry right away, but I usually will hold most of it inside and politely tell the person that I don't appreciate what they've done...I'll stew overnight, but the next day realize that it's not worth being upset over and everything will go back to being ok like it was before.

Do you purposely avoid people in public, who's physical appearance makes you uncomfortable?

Absolutely not. I am not a person who judges on looks. One of my good friends for the past 6 years actually has issues with this, and I love her the same anyway. A LOT of people make fun of her, but she is really really cool, and I just ignore it all. Then again...if it's someone I don't know at all...and they were dressed REALLY scary...like I'm talking bondage gear, shirtless with a trench coat...I probably wouldn't talk to them. I would though if they knew someone I knew and that person vouched that they were a cool person.

How easily can you embrace another individual in your personal life?
- an ex's new significant other? When they become the new stepmother/father to your children?

Very easily. I don't judge people on what their role is. We are all part of a tangled web of relationships and I am not going to be like "Oh Jackie is Bob's new g/f...and I'm best friends with his ex so I'm going to be a bitch to her!"...now, if someone judged me FIRST for what role I play, like for instance being Matt's wife...then I am liable to get bitchy!

- A new coworker? Do you wait for them to show signs of being social with you, or do you go out of your way to make them feel welcome and help them along their way?

ehh it really depends on what vibes i get from the person.

How sensitive are you? Are you a whiner when it comes to your being offended? How do you get past it?

Honestly...it varies...some days I am very sensitive, some days I am not. I don't get offended by general statements or actions, but if a statement is directed at ME, or showing disrespect towards me, I can get very pissy. I choose to respect everyone until they give me a reason not to, but if your first impression on me is a bad one, say disrespectful towards me, then i definitely won't respect you until you've shown me several times after that that you can be a decent respectful person. Or if you just apologize, that goes a LONG way in my book.
I can be whiney at times, sure, I will admit that. But sometimes I feel very justified, because I don't get upset unless I have a reason.


Good thread.

 

[Elle]

Awesome response!

And I'm a lot of the same. I WILL get pissed pretty much right away, (HOW pissed? It depends on what was said to me). I have a hot temper, BUT, will love to see WHY someone said something to me. I always want an explanation, because in fairness, I feel that I will always give one to another person.

If you did somethins shitty to me, I generally take a look at the person, and a lot of times, realize it's not personal and it's they who acted out in anger or something. Again, not personal.

If I was at a bar with anyone who's beliefs I may not agree with, their lifestyles, etc...you'd never know that I did. I can hang with pretty much anyone. Just don't ask my opinion about your life, because I'm not asking for yours about mine, either!

 

[Elle]

With regards to the ex and the new significant other thing...I mentioned that, because my ex has gotten remarried, thus making his wife my kid's stepmother.I've embraced her, as she has with me. We agree on most things, but some stuff she says and imposes as rules really get me! And I share my opinion about it. And since they're my kids, I will overule most of that.

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

Awesome response!

And I'm a lot of the same. I WILL get pissed pretty much right away, (HOW pissed? It depends on what was said to me). I have a hot temper, BUT, will love to see WHY someone said something to me. I always want an explanation, because in fairness, I feel that I will always give one to another person.

If you did somethins shitty to me, I generally take a look at the person, and a lot of times, realize it's not personal and it's they who acted out in anger or something. Again, not personal.

If I was at a bar with anyone who's beliefs I may not agree with, their lifestyles, etc...you'd never know that I did. I can hang with pretty much anyone. Just don't ask my opinion about your life, because I'm not asking for yours about mine, either!

ditto. Especially the last part. I can hang with most anyone, and do hang with most anyone. If you saw me you'd just think I was a normal person, but you'd be surprised what some of my friends look like.

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

With regards to the ex and the new significant other thing...I mentioned that, because my ex has gotten remarried, thus making his wife my kid's stepmother.I've embraced her, as she has with me. We agree on most things, but some stuff she says and imposes as rules really get me! And I share my opinion about it. And since they're my kids, I will overule most of that.

That's great for your kids that you have embraced their step mom. Do your kids stay with the dad full time or with you?

 

[Peter Parka]

Are you a "love all people" kind of person?

No

Or do you despise certain lifestyles so much so, that you will never share a word with "those people?"

No, no one ever offends me so much that I can't bring myself to tell them the're a cunt.

How quickly/easily can you move past when someone says something that you feel is utterly stupid and pisses you off to no end?

Few days, maybe a week. I can move past it but not always forgive them, I just don't bother with them anymore.

Do you think about how angry you are and keep going with that anger? Or can you look inside the incident, the person and the words and see what the real deal is?

Yeah, I do get quite angry, unfortunately looking inside the incident, the person, the words and the real deal will often make me angrier, there are a lot of arseholes in the world.

Do you purposely avoid people in public, who's physical appearance makes you uncomfortable?

Well I don't hang out with people who walk round wearing swastikas! I'm pretty open minded other than extreme stuff like that.

How easily can you embrace another individual in your personal life?
- an ex's new significant other? When they become the new stepmother/father to your children?
- A new coworker? Do you wait for them to show signs of being social with you, or do you go out of your way to make them feel welcome and help them along their way?

Very easily unless the're a dick.

How sensitive are you? Are you a whiner when it comes to your being offended? How do you get past it?

I'm sensitive about some things and not about others. I get past it by trying to forget it and having some time out.

 

[Dana]

Are you a "love all people" kind of person?

no I need a reason

Or do you despise certain lifestyles so much so, that you will never share a word with "those people?"

im friends with ppl of different lifestyle...

How quickly/easily can you move past when someone says something that you feel is utterly stupid and pisses you off to no end? Do you think about how angry you are and keep going with that anger? Or can you look inside the incident, the person and the words and see what the real deal is?

it depends on the stupidity/rudeness of what was said...

Do you purposely avoid people in public, who's physical appearance makes you uncomfortable?

yes everyone does at some point... It's human nature yto avoid someone or a situation you don't understand

How easily can you embrace another individual in your personal life?
- an ex's new significant other? When they become the new stepmother/father to your children?

I don't fuck with ex's.... so her new man can eat a dick

- A new coworker? Do you wait for them to show signs of being social with you, or do you go out of your way to make them feel welcome and help them along their way?

depends how they carry themselves. I can usually spot a persons attitude by the way they nonverbally act. If they want to initiate contact. I will let them decide.

..........................................you see where I'm going here.

How sensitive are you? Are you a whiner when it comes to your being offended? How do you get past it?

no im an asshole when I get offended... vent steam with a friend push an inanimate object.

 

[Elle]

That's great for your kids that you have embraced their step mom. Do your kids stay with the dad full time or with you?

hmmm, it's hard to answer this, as they live in a different state. We have equal custody. No one has visitation rights or anything. I go there, or they come here during breaks and in summer. But school is there.

It's not equal, so I definitely give the benefit of the doubt to Kate, (stepmom). But, not on everything. Like she doesn't let my daughter listen to anything other than Christian music and friggin Hanna Montana! LMAO.

I told her I was going to get her an ipod for her b-day, (she's going to be 8 in May ), and load it up with a lot of the music she's heard me listening to, and loves.

It's mainly my guilty pleasure stuff, like Kylie Minogue, Enrique Iglesias, some Madonna, etc....

Mainly upbeat dance stuff. She LOVES it, and I see no reason to shelter a kid that much with music, esp., when they have a huuuge love for singing and dancing and so on.

 

[Pudding Time]

Kate should not be pushing her religious beliefs on her. On her own daughter, fine. but not your's.. Dan can, as he's her real father. Your daughters beliefs should be of her own, but influence from her REAL parents is to be expected.

 

[COOL_BREEZE2]

I think I'm generally a "love all people" kind of person and don't find it difficult getting along with people of various backgrounds and differences. That's not to say I'm a saint and don't get upset with people at times but mostly that's when IMO they've fucked up. Then my attitude may change. I tend to be inclined to vibe on what is being given, prefer to give the benefit of the doubt until such time and act accordingly. I can be quite forgiving to a fault and generally don't hold grudges for long (unless see "really fucked up") and resolve to heal rifts and/or move on. If healed fine....if not I can easily ignore.

I can't think of anyone I truly hate. I don't think I've ever hated anyone in my entire life thus far so "hate" really doesn't factor in my vocab.

Avoiding people in public re physical appearances etc? No not really.

Embracing an ex's significant other?....New...or old? No probs. Been there done dat. As a matter of fact my ex had a child from a previous relationship before we got together and the child's father and myself got along famously after he got to know me.

New co-worker? Well, would try to make them feel comfortable without necessarily going out of the way to do so. Sometimes prefer to give them room and see how things going.

Sensitive? Yes. I'd be lying if I said otherwise. I get hurt like any other. How do I deal with it? Address it if I feel so inclined, deal with it and move on. Things don't generally bug me for too long.

 

[Cotton]

I'm a pretty easy going guy. I don't trust most people, but I've been screwed by lots of people too.

I'll give most people the benefit of the doubt until they give me a reason to think they're retarded.

 

[GraceAbounds]

Are you a "love all people" kind of person?

Yes I am. Sometimes I fail at it, but I keep on trying.

I am not a "love all kinds of behavior" kind of person though.

Or do you despise certain lifestyles so much so, that you will never share a word with "those people?"

There are behaviors that I don't care for, but there are also behaviors within myself that I don't care for, so no, of course not ... it would not stop me from sharing a word with 'those people'.

How quickly/easily can you move past when someone says something that you feel is utterly stupid and pisses you off to no end?

Anywhere from 2 seconds to a couple of days.

Do you think about how angry you are and keep going with that anger?

99% of the time, no.

Or can you look inside the incident, the person and the words and see what the real deal is?

I can look inside the incident and discern what is going on and not take it personally.

Do you purposely avoid people in public, who's physical appearance makes you uncomfortable?

To some degree. Doing so is a natural stereotypical process that humans use for self preservation/protection. I do not however believe that on a relationship level that a book can be judged by it's cover - that is for sure.

How easily can you embrace another individual in your personal life?

Easily. I love to love people.

- an ex's new significant other? When they become the new stepmother/father to your children?

I'd pray that I could do everything in my power to embrace the ex's new significant other in order to do what is right for my children.

- A new coworker? Do you wait for them to show signs of being social with you, or do you go out of your way to make them feel welcome and help them along their way?

I go out of my way to make them feel welcome as that is what I would desire to have done for me.

How sensitive are you?

I'm not thin skinned. I will stick up for what is right and I will battle what is wrong, but I don't take most others behavior personally. Everyone's behavior defines them, not others.

Are you a whiner when it comes to your being offended?

A whiner? No.

How do you get past it?

Forgiveness & Love.

 

[boxer810]

Are you a "love all people" kind of person?

For the most part I like to think I am. There are times where I jump to conclusions about certain people, mainly because something they did or said offended me as their first impression. You know what they say about first impressions. But I never base liking a person on their race or religion.

Or do you despise certain lifestyles so much so, that you will never share a word with "those people?"

Never once in my life have I done that. There are people that I have been around and been friends with and gotten to know their lifestyle and decided it wasn't one that I wanted to be a part of, but it was more along the lines of drinking and drugs and things of that nature.

How quickly/easily can you move past when someone says something that you feel is utterly stupid and pisses you off to no end? Do you think about how angry you are and keep going with that anger? Or can you look inside the incident, the person and the words and see what the real deal is?

This is a hard one. It really depends on what exactly was said, and how hurtful it was. I am a pretty forgiving person, and more than willing to admit when I'm in the wrong. However, if a person continuously hurts me knowing that they are doing it, I tend not to forgive. There are so many different people in the world, with so many different opinions, we're bound to butt heads once in awhile. But the learning experience comes when you say to yourself "Hey, this person is different than me, and we disagree on some things, but maybe I can learn something from them."

Do you purposely avoid people in public, who's physical appearance makes you uncomfortable?

Not usually. Occasionally there will be a drunkard who has pissed himself and whose stink could lay down an elephant and I'll avoid him LOL but just a persons physical appearance, no.

How easily can you embrace another individual in your personal life?
- an ex's new significant other? When they become the new stepmother/father to your children?

Well, this one has been a hard one for me the last couple of years. My ex's significant other is my baby sister, so it's twice as hard for me. It's taken me so long to even be able to be in the same room with him alone, let alone have to watch him with her, and they have a daughter together now as well. It's still painful, but I accept it because she's my baby sister and she loves him. As far as other ex's go, meh. As long as the girls stay away from me, it's all good. I've actually made friends with some of my ex's new girlfriends/wives and we're still friends to this day.

- A new coworker? Do you wait for them to show signs of being social with you, or do you go out of your way to make them feel welcome and help them along their way?

This is where I excel in life! I am not shy to talk to new people, ever! In my line of work a new coworker is someone that could potentially save my life one day, so I always make sure they feel like they can talk to me.

How sensitive are you? Are you a whiner when it comes to your being offended? How do you get past it?

There have been times when I've whined about things that were done to me, but for the most part I get past it. The last couple of years I've learned that life is painfully short, and you shouldn't waste time holding grudges.

 

[ssl]

This is a very interesting topic. Unfortunately, I cannot answer some of the proposed questions, due in part to not having lived a decent spread of years.

However, what I can answer is that I generally am amiable towards new people; however, most of the time I tend to myself in public places, if they approach me, I yield a few moments to become acquainted; should I lose interest, I quit paying attention.

If someone irritates me to a point, it will take me about five minutes to half an hour to get over it. Forgetting it will not occur, and it is usually brought up by me because I do not understand their position, and try to figure out more information.

Now, if the conversation started because an extremely stupid statement was uttered, I either ignore it and move on, or I propose some analogy to the statement, to which the other person might understand the stupidity of their ways; most of the time the analogies do not work, which result in my attention being attuned towards some new subject.

Embracing someone new, such as an ex's new partner would be difficult for me, because I have not been in such a situation. New coworkers, when I was employed, were generally around managers, and I walked up to them if they were not around me, and I introduced myself to them, to attempt to glean some information as to their knowledge of what area of work they were working in, or knowledge of the product, or some other quantitative analysis that lets me know of them. Generally, I was friendly toward all associates of my employment, and they were friendly back; never had an issue with any particular coworker though.

Sensitive? Yes, I would say I am, to a degree. Most of the time, I return some sort of insult back, but in a more joking way, or I agree with the other, usually resulting in a smile on my face. Now, some situations would result in issues, but those are the types of situations I am trying to learn how to detect and avoid as much as possible. If it is not avoidable, I face the music, and play it out until it climaxes, and get over it.

If it was a particularly stinging offense, I might leave the room; most of the time I would walk away.

 

[Pudding Time]

My past experiences have taught me not to trust anyone. Yet my mother taught me to be polite to everyone. So with this I will act nice to everyone, but wont trust them at all until I know they are trustworthy.

So I'm not one to fully embrace others, yet I will be kind and polite towards them.

 

[All Else Failed]

I try to be as accepting and understanding as I humanly can. There are people, however, that need to gain my respect.

 

[BadBoy@TheWheel]

I try to be understanding of the fact that we all come from different walks of life, have different understandings of pertinent issues and that we all suffer from ideologies that might differ from the "norm".

About the only attitude I am intolerant of is racism/bogotry at any level.

I do understand that as a species we all have some sort of predjudices, but I also feel that to progress we have to battle those and minimize them to grow as a collective and promote peace.

But as a general rule, I am enamored with humanity, I love and cherish most all of my relationships at any level.

 

[COOL_BREEZE2]

I may be encouraged to embrace during the course of the first date.